My alarm’s annoying ass sound drags me away from a finally peaceful dream of fluffy clouds and an open field far away. No I refuse to wake up right now. I slam my hand down in the direction of the noise making contact first try. Once it’s quiet again I get sucked back under by the dark current into dream world. I felt the bed shift and I wonder which one of my munchkins decided to come snuggle with me. Before I knew what was going on I felt a huge arm snake itself around my waist pulling me closer to a familiar body. This can’t be, he’s dead. He has to be dead! My eyelids pop open as my heart jumps into overdrive. I push the quilt off me as I hop out of bed spinning around praying my bed is empty. As my eyes frantically search for the intruder I am thankful that he wasn’t really here. I sink to the floor as my heart starts to slow. Laughter bubbles up relentlessly and I am starting to wonder if I have finally cracked or not. Shit pull yourself together lady before you wake the kids my inner boss yelled. Pulling myself off the floor I decide I may need professional help.

“Auntie May!” Olivia screeches, “It has been too long seen I have seen you! How are you? Are you doing ok? How are my cousin’s? Are they upstairs?”

The onslaught of questions from this petite little girl with curly, dark brown hair and eyes to match made me laugh so hard I may have peed a little.

“It is so good to see you darling,” I said as I wrapped her in a hug. The fact that she was my husband’s youngest daughter was more apparent now then it had ever been before. “Josiah, oh my goodness! You are so grown up now.” I gasped. Josiah was the spitting image of Nelson. I felt sweat bead up n my neck by the uncanniness. “The girls are upstairs.”

Alexa was watching me probably wondering if I was going to freak out on her kids or something.

“Ella May,” Alexa said as she reached for my arm, “Breathe honey.”

I turned to look at her unsure of what to even say, “Di..”

“Yes, he looks exactly like him. I wasn’t sure how you were going to react, but I didn’t think you would go pale as a ghost.” She looked concerned for me, “Let’s sit down and talk ok. When you’re ready.”

I let her lead me to the kitchen island and sat down while she made some herbal tea. I wasn’t sure where to start if to even start a conversation with her. Just as she handed me my cup and settled into the seat across from me someone turned on the upstairs intercom.

“I’m not sure why we are here either.” Josiah said to someone.

“They aren’t friends again are they? I recognized Bailey’s voice, so I listened closer as did Alexa.

“I don’t think so, but we need to be careful because I am so much older than you are.” Josiah whispered.

“More careful? J I barely get to see or talk to you as it is. I’m not sure what happened between our moms, but I want to be able to tell them. They used to be so close and I think they would be happy for us.” I heard the tears in Bailey’s voice and it made me want to hold her and make her pain go away. Unfortunately, I couldn’t move.

“Come on baby, let’s go join the others before they start wondering.” Was the last Josiah said before the line went silent.

Alexa and I sat there for a long time without sayong anything of what we just heard. We both knew it needed to be addressed quickly before things went to far, but we were embarrassed.

“Alexa, we need to tell them,” I blurted out breaking the silence.

“Thank God we’re on the same page. I had no idea, did you?” she asked still in shock.

“Nowhere even close to who I thought she liked.” I replied my voice sounding so far away as I strained to make sure the kids couldn’t hear us.

“Well they are obviously trying to keep it on the low for now so,” Alexa started to say before I interrupted.

“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. He wants to keep in on the low, not her. I swear Lex if he lays one hand on her, godson or not, I will beat him.” My body shaking with fury.

“Hey, you think I don’t know what bloodline he has? He won’t be like that. He can’t be like him.” I could tell she wanted to be certain, but the fear of the unknown was there. “On a lighter note, it’s been years since you called me Lex. It’s nice hearing it from you again.”

Looking down at my tea cup I have to admit to myself we were sitting here bantering like we used to before I found out about there affair. “I do miss you a lot,” I finally respond without looking up from my cup, “I just don’t know if I can ever trust you again.”

She lets out a long sigh, but remains quiet. Unable to stop myself I look up meeting her gaze, “I can’t and won’t take back what happened because if nothing else I got two amazing kids out of the deal. Unfortunately I lost my best friend as a result and yes I do have a mountain of regrets, but I can’t change anything and neither can you.”

She was right, I knew she was right, but I wasn’t there yet where I could admit it to her that she was right.

“You know what sucks?” I asked after a few minutes of contemplation.

“What?” replied Alexa.

“Even through my own pain about the affair, I never, until this moment, thought about the hell you were going through with him.” I said almost to myself, “I cried to you about our fights, asked you how I could change to be a better mother, better wife. You were the one who taught me how to cover my bruises so the kids wouldn’t know and I never asked you how you knew. You never had anyone to go to when he did that stuff to you and I truly am sorry I wasn’t a better friend, I should’ve known something wasn’t right with you.”

I thought Alexa’s jaw hit the floor by how wide her mouth hung open. She opened and closed it a few times resembling a fish out of water. About the time she was regaining her composure our kids came downstairs to see what we were up to. I look to Alexa and we both know it is now or never. The truth, or at least a little bit of the truth must come out tonight. I have a sinking feeling that we’re about to start unraveling a tightly wound ball of mayhem that we may not be able to contain after this.