— Elaeya —

A little voice in a dark corner of my mind kept expecting what was apparently not coming. For Kaden to use me, hurt me. All reason told me this is the most plausible actions to expect. But when he spoke of protecting me, I knew every words to be true. When he said he was not calculating my worth to him in money or political power, I knew those words to be equally true.

When he wrapped his arms around me at night, I knew this to be sincere, genuine, and not withholding any hidden meaning, any secret desires except maybe lust. It was hard to ignore this one completely, especially in the morning. But he never acted untoward, he never rushed me, or pressured me. I knew he wanted this. I wanted this. I never lusted as much as I have since I met him. I have never been plagued with lascivious dreams like I have since he had begun sleeping next to me every night.

My body could barely be controlled, my mind kept straying to places in accord with my body’s needs. And my heart was observing the events unfold, unsure of how it felt. My instincts knew. They knew I was here to stay. They knew my fate has taken a path that could lead to far more than I ever thought could await me in my future. My heart wanted to feel, to be in harmony with what I knew, what my body begged for, but it felt in free-fall, out of landmarks, anything to hold on too, it was floating in absolute darkness, not knowing where was up and where was down. But every time our skin touched, all I knew is that I did not want it to end.

I also knew that even if he accepted me for what I am, there would be a price to pay. I simply did not know if I would be the one to pay it, or him, or even his people.

And I had absolutely no idea what my place was to be. What I could or should do. What was expected of me, or if I could ever deliver.

When he got up in the morning, all I wanted was to protest and bury myself further in his warmth, but I got up too and prepared for the day.

He had promised me the night before that he would spend the day with me unless something was on fire.

I didn’t want to make him feel guilty for not having always time for me, but I also knew we cannot build anything together without investing some time. And quite frankly, I was a little afraid of when he would have to spend more time working, for I had no idea what to do with myself.

Mrs. Raynolds prepared breakfast for us.

I was not used to having my every need catered too, whereas there was probably a long list of things Kaden never even had to worry about, let alone do.

Before breakfast ended, the first packages were delivered.

“This one is for you,” Kaden told me.

The first had been a contract for him. I didn’t even think there were delivery services on Sundays, but there were, apparently, here.

The box I was holding contained nine purses.

“I did not order this,” I told him. “Morea gave me four already, I just need one.”

“Well, either Morea ordered you more, or Eva did. And don’t women changes purses all the time?”

“Do they?” I asked aghast.

“How do I know? I don’t have purses, I have pockets,” he said chewing on a bite of waffles.

I looked at the eleven other boxes suspiciously.

“I’m pretty sure all the others are for you too,” he told me.

I bit my lips, still looking at them, worried.

“Miss, do you want me to bring them to your room?” Mrs. Raynolds asked me.

I got up. “I can take care of this.”

Kaden grabbed my hand and pulled me back on my chair. Mrs. Raynolds looked a little troubled.

“Let me take care of them,” she told me and piled a few of them in her arms and moved them upstairs.

I looked at Kaden askance.

“You’re insulting her,” he told me.

I blinked.

He sighed. “Her job is to care for this household, but taking tasks from her, you’re telling her you either find her incapable or don’t trust her to do it.”

“No, of course not. I am much younger than she. I am more than capable. And if those are mine, are they not my responsibility?”

“And you are her responsibility,” he told me pointedly. “And she may be older than you, but it doesn’t mean she’s incompetent.”

“Of course not. That is not what I meant. I do not want to insult anyone, but it does not mean that because she works here, that I cannot do anything by myself anymore.”

He put his fork down.

“Elaeya, this is how packs work. Everyone plays their part and takes pride in it. We are a community, a family and benefit from that collaboration. I spend a lot of my time and energy making sure all of my people are safe, and well cared for. Blakemore and all its packs offer a great quality of life. We don’t have a single member that qualifies as below the national poverty line. We have no homelessness. Universal healthcare, that covers psychological care and even addictions. The crime rate is laughably low, and there have been no attacks on Blakemore proper in more than a century. Do you know how few packs can brag of that much? Not many. And in exchange for this, I don’t have to worry about cooking, or vacuuming, or putting boxes away. I can focus on more important things than others like Mrs. Raynolds will reap the benefits of, and she, like many like her, can feel pride in being part of that success.”

I swallowed. “But that is you. I have done nothing. I am just here being given things and doing nothing for it.”

“Firstly, you are my guess, and for such should be treated accordingly. And secondly, you could potentially become their Luna. If they can’t even treat someone like you with deference, I won’t have to scold anyone, because any aware of this would be more than appalled enough. Such actions mean more than just willingness or not to do this work. It reflects on one’s own respect towards this pack.”

I pursed my lips. I did not know how to respond to this, but it did not make it any easier to understand.

“Do you feel bad for the barista when you order a coffee in a coffee shop?” he asked me.

“No,” I said.

“No, because she’s paid for the work, and it’s her freaking job to do so. Mrs. Raynolds is paid for this, handsomely so. This is her job. This is what is expected of her and that she’s agreed for.”

“I understand.” I said meekly.

I was not hungry anymore so I took my plate and got up.

“Elaeya,” Kaden told me.

I put the plate down instantly and sat back down with my hands on my lap.

He sighed.

I am clearly not cut out for this.

“I’m not scolding you,” he told me, his voice was gentler.

I looked up at him.

“I know there are a lot of adjustments. You’ll get the hang of it in no time,” he said.

I doubt it.

“I don’t want you to feel like crap,” he said. “I know you never did things this way, I just want you to understand.”

“But wouldn’t this,” I pointed at my plate, “Make things just a little easier on her?”

“That’s not what is important here. If her job is too much, she’ll say it and I’ll hire more staff.”

His arguments made sense in a way, but it also felt as if he was talking in an alien language.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” he said angrily as his phone rang. He picked it up and moved out of the room to take the call. I just looked at the space he left absolutely unsure of how I felt about everything.

“Miss?” asked Mrs. Raynolds as she came back in the room.

“Yes,” I said twisting a little to look at her, straightening up.

“Could I talk to you a little?”

“Of course,” I replied.

She pointed at the chair next to mine, and I moved my hand allowing her to sit.

“I don’t know of your circumstances, but I understand that you are not from here. I can assure you nothing unsavory is happening here.”

“I know,” I said in a sigh. “I am a stray,” I admitted. “I don’t know how packs operate, everything is alien to me. I know what he said makes sense. It simply feels jarring to me, as if I am using people and resources in ways that I do not deserve or earn,” I confessed.

She nodded. “I understand. But it doesn’t mean that because you have not done work at this very moment to make you feel like you’ve earned to be treated this way, that it doesn’t mean you won’t in the future.”

I probably looked unconvinced.

“He’s right when he said we take pride in our work. There can be a great sense of accomplishment in knowing that something I do can make a difference to those around me. Washing linens might not be as glorious as signing a peace treaty with a neighboring pack, but I take joy in what little I can do and the impact, no matter how limited it may be. And I am being paid very well. You don’t have to feel guilty about this. He may look like a big brute, but he has never treated me or any of my colleagues with disrespect.”

I nodded and looked apprehensively at the remaining boxes on the table.

“Those were given to you out of generosity, don’t feel bad about it,” she reassured me.

“I have never had more than ten pieces of clothing at once. I do not even know what to do with all of these.”

“How about you let me open and organize all of these, and I can help you with anything you may need.”

I nodded reluctantly.

She smiled at me, picked a few more boxes, and moved them upstairs.

Kaden spent a few hours in his office. An hour after breakfast Mrs. Raynolds came in the drawing-room and deposited three books on the coffee table, inclined her head, and left to return a few minutes later with tea.

One book was a study in werewolf society, one was a history of the region and more specifically Blakewoods and the Devon family line, and the last one was the detailed duties of a Luna.

Kaden joined me eventually. Later in the afternoon, we moved to the living room where we watched a couple of movies. The last time I did something like this, I was in high school and I had been at that school for a couple of months, I had gone to a friend’s house and I had watched movies all weekend with her and her brother. And while she had been in the kitchen getting snacks, her brother had stolen my first kiss.