Give Them Nightmare

"Are you taking the medications I prescribed, McDonald?" The team's doctor inquires dead serious and looks at me from behind his desk, glasses pushed down low on the tip of his nose.

"Nah, Doc. It's not that bad anymore. " I'm tying my shoelaces as quickly as I can, I can't wait to leave, I hate those cabinets.

Last time I did my check up he gave me some kinds of pain killers- Oxy- somehting. I know most of the guys on the team take them, especially Jared, but I don't know. The pills helped me with the pain, but they were also making me sleepy. I couldn't feel much, not just pain. Anything. And even if it sounds funny- I hated that. It was as if I was out of control, even of the pain. So I just stopped taking them eventually.

"You tore adductor a few weeks ago, boy - it looks better than last time I checked, but you can't have fully recovered by now. Especially considering how serious the injury was."

"It's fine. I'm fine and I'm playing tonight."

Doc looks at me the way I look at Mia when she says she didn't eat biscuits before diner while her mouth's covered in crumbs. He slides his glasses off his nose and rubs his eyes. He goes through my file once again, exhales audibly and gives up.

"I won't argue anymore. I told your Coach it's better if you rest, but he's more stubborn than you are. " He rests his elbows on the table and leans forward. "Look- I can't confine you to bed, but I hope you take my advise. If you don't give yourself time to heal, it's going to get worse. I know your Coach wants you to play, because you're the most productive player right now, but if that goes on, you may not play at all in a few years. Understood?"

"Yes, Sir. " I nod and get up from the examination table.

"Now tell next one to come in and good luck tonight."

"Thanks, we'll need it."

When I was a kid I couldn't wait for my birthday, or my sisters'. We still gather for Mia's, but me and my old sis- Bella are way too old for cakes and candles, despite my mother's insisting we celebrate together. Always and no exceptions. The way she insists we always have diner together. If Dad has to work late in the garage, or if she's kept in the office- they wait for each other. I remember that one time she didn't wait for him and he was so pissed, he refused to eat and went straight to bed, He was grumpy for like three days after. They were so funny. But my Mother and Father are like teenagers sometimes, arguing one minute, then everything's fine the next. It's amazing how they've been together for almost twenty-five years. They got married and less than a year later they had Bella. She's in Ontario now but always comes home for the holidays.

My parents never miss a big game, the way we always watch Mia's performances. Jared's parents are the same, Max's too. It's like we're a big family and I know perfectly well that's why I can't disappoint them. Plus, I've known each of them and their parents since we were kids, starting no the ice.

I'm a left-winger, so it's as Doc said- me and Max- the right-winger score most of the goals in a game. I know they trust me, the way I trust them and I can't fail them. That's why my leg shouldn't fail me, too. I don't know why I almost told Jeremy all that the other day, especially since we'd never talked to each other until that time. He probably thought I'm strange. I can't shake the feeling that there's something going on with him.

I'm perfectly aware of the fact I don't have the right to pry but I still want to talk to him.

Or I'm just searching for excuses to talk to him? Whatever it is, I keep thinking of him. I find myself remembering stuff about him while I drive, or pick Mia up, or I don't know- when I brush my teeth, even. It's so weird, the thoughts come at the most random of times. And I don't think anything creepy or stalker-ish. No, it's more like- wondering what he does, or if he did his homework already...

And I think of him exclusively at times when I'm supposed to focus on something else. For example when I need to have my mind on what's coming tonight. We're playing against The Bears, and they're as big and good on the ice as the name suggests. We almost lost to them last year and we pulled the short stick to be up against them so early in the season.

Besides, there's another thing added to all that- after we won the cup last year, everyone expects us to win. Every. Damn. Time. Once on top, you can't be second ever again. A second place, in the end, is the worst-case scenario, meaning you're not good enough to be first, but still not that bad and you just failed or didn't fight hard enough.

I wrap my leg up as high and tight as I can in the locker room, although I can't tighten it that much, because I won't be able to move. Bandages kind of help dull the pain temporarily, so I guess it's still something.

"Are you ok, McDonald?" the Coach's asking me before we get out on the ice. Before I parrot the "I'm fine" line I see the guys are already heading to the rink. "He's kicking. Let's go, man." Jared urges me while I still tighten my skates and I know it's time.

3...

2...

1

The first minutes of the game are the most important. They tell the opponent we're not kidding and win the audience's attention. if we show even the slightest weakness, in the beginning, we give the psychological advantage of the opponent of knowing if we're bad in the beginning, it will only get worse later in the game.

Our coach doesn't believe in the "save strength for later" and so far it's worked for us. The Bears are good, but we're good too.

Once we're on the rink, I forget everything. There's no pain, no cold, no noise coming from the crowd. Nothing can reach me out here and it's only the ice, the stick, and me- the one has to get the puck in the net.

It's that simple.

Jared and I are the perfect match- he passes, I score, it's what I do best. It's what I'll do from now on.

But I miss his pass. Then again. The first part of the game passes and The Bears score.

We're 0:1 and I can tell the coach's about to shit on us. He starts shouting during the break, scribbling something on his board, but I can't hear anything. My eyes wander over the arena. I notice my mom sitting with Jared's dad; Stela's waving, although she knows I often don't see them because of the lights and everything.

Then I notice him.

Christina's explaining something to Jeremy, waving around and pointing stuff at him. I'm sure she dragged him here, although I can't imagine how she persuaded him.

I feel stupidly happy for some reason and that feeling's so...new I realize I'm smiling.

"Did you get that, McDonald?" My Coach's asking.

I only nod.

"Okay, make sure you do it properly, then."

"You finally look like you're in the mood for this," I hear Jared from somewhere to my right.

I turn and say

"We're done warming up. Time to kick some ass".

He grins and we're back on the ice.

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