Chapter Four


Xander is Alex's twin. They are twins.

Days, weeks, months have passed, Xander and I grew closer that scares me a lot and yet I am here, in his house, having dinner with him. At first, when I'm looking at him I see Alex in him but as time goes by, I can see the real Xander and I'm not looking for any trace of Alex to him. I think that is a good improvement.

"How's Logan?"

Did I mention that I already gave to a healthy and handsome baby boy? He's just so precious. I moved out from mom's house before I gave birth to Logan. Not that I don't want to be around my mom, it's just that I want to be more independent. Mom visits us every time she got the chance, you ask about my work? I went back accepting projects three months after I gave birth; I hired a nanny to look after Logan while I work. Every weekend, Logan stays at mom's to give me some rest though it wasn't really necessary because Logan can take my tiredness just seeing him; I just let Logan to stay there for them to bond. Today is Saturday; it means Logan is with my mom.

"He's doing well. You can't imagine my joy when he did his first step. I recorded it, wait." I produced my phone from my pocket and showed him the video of Logan taking baby steps

"That's awesome. He's handsome just like Alex." He commented after watching the video

"You indirectly said that you're handsome." I giggled "You're Alex's twin, stop being silly."

He laughed with me, shaking his head.

"I'm planning to tell Lexa everything." He suddenly said while cutting his steak "Including this."

"What do you mean by this?" I frowned

"Well, we're seeing each other for almost a year now; I assume that there is something special between us."

I set my utensils down. Our situation is like a puzzle to me: my emotions and feelings. I like him there is no doubt about that but I like him because? I don't know. Is it because he looks like Alex? Or the way he replaced Alex to my life? Or the way he treats me?

"Are you still not sure about me? About us?"

Us. Me and him.

"I really can't say it right now, Xander. You're special to me but..."

"But what, Jen?'

"I can't find the reason why you're special to me. I don't want us to get hurt in the end because of me."

He reached for my hand over the table, giving it a light squeeze "I will take whatever you can give, just be with me. Let me give you enough reason to like me, to love me."


"Xander... What if they will get mad? Lexa and Oliver, they will sure get mad for sure. People will think that I'm with you because you looked like Alex. People will think that you took advantage of a grieving lady."

"Fuck their opinion! What is important is we are happy. Let me do what is right that is to formally tell everyone that I'm dating you."

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