"Mom, Dylan is crying!" Logan shouted from their room
"I think it's time's up for our alone time." Xander said to me. He turned the TV off "Go and tame our baby."
Logan is now four and I just gave birth to Dylan last month. Yup, he's Xander's seed. We got married two years ago. Everything is going smooth for us and whatever problem will come to us I know that we will face them hand in hand.
"I love you." I kissed my husband's lips
"I love you too." He smiled at me lovingly "And forever will."
I went to my boys' room, Logan is playing with his car toys on his bed while Dylan is in his crib, crying and probably hungry.
After breastfeeding Dylan and put him to sleep, I sat next to my first born "Do you like your new toys?"
He nodded enthusiastically "Yes, mommy." He looked at me like he wants to say something
"What is it, honey? You can tell mommy everything."
"I saw this in dad's drawer when we are playing side and seek." He gave a picture of Alex and Xander together "Who is he, mom? Why he looks like daddy?"
This is the time I was afraid of, lying to my son. I need to lie to him.
"He's daddy's twin. His name was Alex, that's your uncle Alex."
That's your real father, how I wanted to tell him the truth.
"Where is he, mom? Why I didn't see him during reunions or Christmas?" My child asked innocently
"Because he's dead, he died many years ago. He's in heaven now." I patted my son's head "I won't tell your dad that you went through his things, don't do it next time, okay?" I kissed his cheek "I love you, Logan."
"I love you too, mommy."
"Your son saw this in your drawer." I gave him back the picture "I told him that I won't tell you that he went through your things."
We are now on our bed, ready to sleep. Our boys are also in their room now, sleeping soundly, well, I'm not sure about Logan because he's been faking his sleep for some time now. That kid.
"He asked, Am I right?"
I sighed "Yeah, it was hard for me to spit lies to our son's face."
Xander reached for my hand and intertwined them together "It's for the better, love. If we tell him the truth, he will continue to ask, Alex wished not tell Logan about him. I don't want this either, love. Logan deserves to know the truth but this is for his own good. Let me be his father now."
Xander grew from a man to a father. Even before we had Dylan, he showed to us that he can be a father to Logan. He loved his nephew as his own son. I did the right thing loving this man. He did everything to prove that he deserves us; this family; our family.
"I love you, you know that right?"
He smiled lovingly at me, showing his dimples and perfectly white teeth "I know and I love you more for that."
Our family is not perfect; this family will hide those secrets forever. Alex is now happy with his own family and Xander and I are perfectly fine with the life we have right now.
Alex is not Xander. Xander is not Alex. He's not Him.