ZYLITH.

DEAR bad Luck, let's break up.

I can't deal with you anymore. You're like a bad cold that won't go away no matter what I do. I've had enough! Let me talk to your superior so that I can get permission to high five you with a chair, on your face.

"...Hey! Earth to Fake Lizzy." My knight in shining armour who turned out to be an asshole in an aluminium foil waved his hand in front of my face to bring me back to earth. Even though I was super reluctant to, Reuben's hard stare made it tough for me to defy him, not to mention the ogle of the mummy guy.

Yes, you guessed right. All the assholes and jerks are gathered up in the same place today to gawk at me to death. Don't even ask why.

And I was like a dead Tuna going with the flow. It was almost scary how it only took one action to start a ripple effect. My desire to survive changed my life forever. And I don't mean it in a good way.

"Yeah. I'm listening." I muttered with a sigh.

"Not only is she a traitor to the Duke, she is also rude I see." The fraud mummy king disguising himself as Reuben groused.

"And after all that tantrum about you not wanting to marry her, you ended up tying the knot with her anyway brother."

"Give me a brake would you Lexter, what else was I supposed to do, send her off to that dominatrix and get myself exposed?" Reuben huffed in vexation, "You know I had no other choice."

"Still, you should've just killed her and be done with it. You do know that she even vouched to help us overthrow her own lord, right? How can we trust such a disloyal servant?" The mummy guy, whose name I discovered to be Prince Alexteris Regalious, the younger brother of Reuben and the actual left retainer of Reveldron, grumbled while glaring daggers at me. This guy was as unpleasant as he looked.

"Please wait My prince; let us not be impulsive here. If it was that easy to get rid of Duke Ronales His Highness would've done it a long time ago. It's because it's hard to get rid of the duke is why we need the Lady's help." Lord Gilbert intervened the raging kid brother of Reuben.

"But tell me how can we trust her? What if she stabs us in the back like she did to her master." Alexteris carped like a starved goldfish.

'Excuse me! Please don't act as if I am invisible here. The person you are plotting to kill is right here in front of you, you blood-thirsty fake mummy!' You would think where I got all my brave balls from, but rest assured. I might be a person who has been sleep-deprived and duped, sold and been attempted to be murdered twice, but I had endured much tougher ordeals than this little event. Basically I was just screaming in my head is what I mean. Pathetic, I know. But I shall kneel on the floor and kiss the ground the fake mummy walks on if it means I can live another day. That's how desperate of a person I had become.

I was tongue-tied, but that didn't mean I couldn't glare. So I glared. With every ounce of my body, I glared holes into that fake mummy brat's skull. And it seemed like he sensed my glare.

"You insolent servant, you dare to glare at a prince in such a manner!" Alexteris roared like a goaded beast but at this moment I could care less. I was that irritated.

'Yes I dare you. What are you gonna do about it you spoilt brat!' I bellowed in my head but getting emotional was not the cue here. So I put on a flowery fake smile and muttered quite intimidated, "How dare I Your Highness. I am but a humble servant. I don't even dare to look you in the eye."

"Hmph! Be done with your fake flattery. I shall not be fooled. Brother, I say we should dispose off her as soon as possible." He eyed Reuben for his consent and I shuddered in consequence. I know we had a deal but that couldn't stop a king from beheading a mere nobody if he just felt like it. What was worse was that I happen to know of his big secrets, so I was much of a vulnerability to him alive than dead.

I knew all that, so I was obviously scared. I had played most of my cards and now it remained to be seen whether I was worth the risk or not.

Reuben had a straight face on and didn't speak for a while, don't know if he was trying to build up the suspense or was just lazy to speak but yeah, I think it took him more than a minute to speak out his decision. All the while, I had my heart on my throat as I felt like a convict waiting for the final verdict.

"...I shall not dispose of her yet Lexter." He spoke in a clear voice and I let out a relieved sigh, but I also didn't miss the 'Yet' in his words.

"What! But brother, why not. Don't you understand she is much of a liability than use to us." The mummy brat almost shrieked.

Reuben refused to acknowledge his brother's pleas and looked at me, "My lady, what is your view on this matter?"

"Y-Your Majesty!" I was baffled, who the hell asks a person if he should be killed or let off. If not a psychopath who else even cares to ask such a stupid question. Both these brothers will be the death of me for sure.

"I want to know whether you deserve to be spared or not." He spoke in a solemn voice, as if he was talking about the weather and not of my death sentence.

"I-I wouldn't dare to demand anything of you Your Majesty. Please do as you see fit." I spoke in a mumbled tone.

"I am not asking you to demand anything off me. I am asking you to speak your mind. It is an order. I want to know of your thoughts, I want to hear if you want to be spared and if you do, why? On what ground do you think you deserve to be spared, is what I want to know." He eyed me pointedly.

'Obviously because I don't wanna die you oaf, what else would it be.' But if I blurted such a reason out I don't think my neck would be spared. So I went with the next best thing I could come with. My wild card. "Freditch Roff. The key is a guy called Freditch Roff." And all of the people in the room raised their eyebrows to that. "He is all the evidence that Your Majesty needs to bring down Duke Ronales." I said.

Freditch Roff was the exclusive henchman of the Ronales household. He carried out all the dirty business that the family wanted taken care of. You find him, you find all the dirt you need to frame the great Ronales family. This was one of the vital pieces of info I had painstakingly gathered while my stay in the Ronales household. You didn't think that I was dilly-dallying around all this time in that sh*thole now, did you?

"Oh? Then please do tell, where can we find this man called Freditch Roff?" The mummy brat asked, overly zealous if I might add.

"Please forgive my rudeness Your Highness but if I were to divulge such information I might as well lay all my cards bare. I won't have any leverage to save my neck then, isn't that right Your Majesty." I smiled timidly at the two most powerful people in this kingdom.

Reuben stared right into my eyes and his lips broke into a wide smirk. Then he looked at the mummy brat and said, "Lexter, now do you see why I do not wish to let go off her?" And Alexteris in turn made a sour face.

"I do understand what Your Majesty is going for. But there is no reason for you to really marry her. We can counterfeit the marriage to deceive the nobles and when the time is ripe, we can strike the prey and be done with all the farce." Lord Gilbert reasoned. Which was quite reasonable. Reuben didn't have to marry me to get me to dispose of Duke Ronales. He could just trick everyone and use me as one of his accomplishes.

"No." He just uttered one word.

"But why, brother? You really are not thinking with your right mind. This girl will be the death of.."

"Lexter!" Reuben's sharp tone shut Alexteris up for good. "Now fake Lizzy, I trust you shall hold up to your end of the bargain but there is more I want from you than just getting rid of the duke." As if it wasn't blatantly obvious already.

"I understand." I said, "But Your Majesty, before you demand more from me I would like to request something off you too. I mean it's only right as you went against your terms about getting me out of this royal mess and instead did the very opposite."

"Very well. Let's hear it then. What is it that you want?" He sounded rather amused than alarmed.

"I want the freedom of speech." I said, "I mean I get to speak my mind. Like if I find you stupid I get to tell you that you are stupid and not get executed for it."

His reaction to my request was not what I'd imagined of him. Rather than being annoyed he seemed to be intrigued and with a soft chuckled he said, "Alright. I agree to your request of freedom of speech. It is only appropriate that you get to express yourself as the First Royal Consort" Was that last bit on purpose?

"Brother!"

"Sire!"

Both Lord Brat Alexteris and Sir Gilbert yapped out in refute but Reuben shut them up promptly with his defiant look.

"Cool. And while we are at it, let's get some things clear. Firstly..." I took a deep breath and looked at bratty prince Alexteris right in the eye, "Did anyone ever happen to tell you that you're one hell of a scumbag without IQ_ Uh... I mean brains? Think about it you spoilt bratty prince, all you do is scorn a person just because they are low-born and I bet you wouldn't bat an eyelash to execute me if it were in your power. While have you thought about what I had to go through just to survive! Loyalty! HAH! You talk about loyalty as if they sell loyalty at a discount in the market like vegetables. As if it's the best thing in the world, as if there's nothing above it you could ask of a person but did you know that you have to be worthy of loyalty for someone to be loyal to you? And for the record, do you even know what makes people loyal to you? It's respect and trust, not someone like the duke who only knows to make use of people like they are pawn pieces and throw them away after they have served their purpose. Isn't that why you guys are trying to get rid of him in the first place? How could you judge me for not being loyal to a douche-bag like him? The man who sold me off without as much as a second thought! Why should I be loyal to him? What does he have for me to be loyal to him? And of course I value my life most of all, why shouldn't I? Wouldn't you value your life if you were in a situation such as mine? My life is all I have got and I don't regret fighting tooth and nail to save myself. So if you don't know a shit about me, don't you dare be judgmental about me you privileged piece of crap!" Phew! That just hit the spot. I don't know for how long I had been restraining myself. It felt awesome to say my piece after such a long time.

"...You You...," The little royal scum bared his fangs at me in unfathomable rage, but guess what, I didn't give a rat's ass at this point. "What! Cat got your tongue?" I said in a flat voice. And I heard a laughter that was not built softly; rather it exploded like TNT resonating the whole room. I turned around to see Reuben creased over double with his fist banging the round table as he rolled in fits of laughter. His shoulders were shaking erratically and he could barely breathe for laughter.

I watched his sputtering laugh for about five minutes until I spoke, "If you bang that thing anymore I'm afraid it'll get pregnant." And all the three of them stopped dead in their tracks to look at me, agape.

"What! Now I can't even make a joke!" I deadpanned and Reuben was on again with his next round of unstoppable titters.

"...(heavy breathing)...Ahem! That was entertaining. Never knew there existed a being enabling of shutting Lexter off." He mouthed in an amused tone.

"Haha thanks? Anyway, as for Your Majesty," I looked at him in a serious light and said, "I am going to do your bidding and be the Royal whatever only for the time being. Once my job here is done I get a free pass out of this palace since I'm pretty sure the plans you have for me are nothing sort of pretty. You have to promise my freedom by the end of this game and you can't go back on your word like you did the last time." I declared, pronto.

"Hmm. Now that you are granted freedom of speech I see you are using it to your full advantage." He smiled, but there was something wrong with that smile, like he was faking it and underneath it lied something more gory.

"Obviously. Whatever I need to survive. But seriously, you can't go back on your word like before. Where is your dignity as a king damn it?!" I sighed dramatically. Honestly, I was not big on the idea of saying out loud what I thought about the king and his ridiculousness. Considering the fact that he killed a man in cold blood right in front of me just hours ago; I was still scared of him. But I couldn't let him see that. Don't let the enemy in on your weakness is the first rule of battle.

"Yes. Of course, where is my dignity. I am sorry that you had to see the incompetent side of me. I shall try not to be so discourteous in the future." He smiled like an angel at me but I knew his smile was as fake as Donald Trump's hair. "Now then, what is your name my lady?"

"Fake Lizzy." I muttered out of spite. Yeah. I know I was being childish but in my defense, he was annoying.

"This boorish girl. How dare you be so imprudent to your King! Kneel down and beg for forgiveness this instant." Alexteris bellowed like a banshee on drugs.

"Oh I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come off as rude. But is there any real need for His Majesty to know my name? I came to the palace in the guise of Lady Elizabeth, everyone knows me to be Lady Elizabeth and I myself shall be acting like the Lady Elizabeth of the Ronales household of dukes. Furthermore His Majesty obviously can't call me by any other name but Elizabeth. So I don't see a need for His Majesty to know my name as it is of little worth. But if he insists, I shall definitely comply." I wanted to shrug at the brat in nonchalance but that would be a tad bit over the top, so I refrained and played it calm.

"There is no need." Reuben, the king said quietly, "I see I've offended my dearest consort greatly by addressing her as Fake Lizzy. I apologize for my coarse ness and hope she wouldn't take my insensitiveness to heart."

"No offence taken Sire, I just want this ordeal to be completely business, if you get the drift." I smiled as fakely as him.

"But of course. I understand, you have nothing to fret about." He smiled back with his dazzling fake smile but I knew better.

"Thank you for being so generous. Now, back to business. What do I have to help you with other than duke Ronales?" I asked, a bit anxious.

"Ah! Yes. About that, you don't have to do much. You just have to make sure the queen dowager doesn't foil our plans and be aware of her underhanded tricks. Oh! And make sure to reject future marriage proposals as they can only go forward with the approval and recommendation of the First Consort." He said in a poised manner. Shit! No one told me I also had to play the king's cupid.

"Wait! Why would the queen dowager try to foil our plans?" I puckered my brows at him, puzzled.

"Right, I'm sorry I didn't get the opportunity to tell you before. The Queen dowager is not our birth mother, she is our step-mother and she is not very fond of us in case you are wondering." His smile was easy but stiff, if that even made sense. "My step-mother is the kind of person who will go to any lengths to get what she wants, and in this case it is to usurp the throne."

"Sh*t! Like the evil step-mom who wants it all, huh!" I felt something close to pity for these two royal brats but I wasn't about to let them know that I was going soft on them. "No wonder you guys gave off the Cinderella vibe."

"What Cinderella vibe?" Alexteris frowned in sheer confusion and I was reminded once again that these guys had close to zero idea about the things I talked about most of the time. Uhhh! Such a bother. I had to speak ancient 24/7.

"Right sorry. There's this story that's pretty famous in my land. It's about a pretty and humble girl called Cinderella who was harassed by her stepmother and stepsisters for a long time before she found her Prince charming and lived happily ever after." I said.

"Enough of this nonsense. This is serious girl. If you fail, you probably will be killed on spot." The Royal brat hollered in my ears. God my poor ears. "We have no evidence but we have Intel that she is allied with duke Ronales and the rebellion against the royal house of Regalious. The fact is, she is too cunning for us to cease her in the act. Hence, you who she believes to be the daughter of duke Ronales can infiltrate her domain and get close enough to her to gather enough evidence to bring her down." He said and I felt a chill run down my spine.

"So I am the infiltrating spy that always gets killed in the movies. Great." I mumbled, my throat dry as dust.

"...Movies! What is that?" Reuben asked, quite curious. But I was in no mood to explain what a damn movie was to him.

"It's nothing of importance. Just another way of saying I gotta risk my neck for you guys. So I better get a reasonable compensation out of this crap you guys are getting me into." I huffed out loud.

"Well certainly. You are the First Consort now; whatever you wish will be granted without a question." He didn't fail to emphasize the word 'First Consort' as he spoke with that smile never leaving his face, flawless soft lips over perfect white teeth. The perfect salesman smile I'd ever encountered. If he were in my world, he would've conned a lot of people.

"Temporary First Consort." And I didn't fail to remind him of our arrangement by emphasizing the word 'temporary'.

He sniggered like a cunning villain at my disposition, "Right. How about we discuss your duties as a 'Temporary First Consort' since we are already mulling over the matter."

"There are duties of a First Consort?" I scowled, dreading another bizarre demand from the King of Reveldron.

"But of course. Prominent power and status comes with eminent responsibilities." His smile as of now changed into something more of a Cheshire kind.

"Responsibilities like?" I feared his answer but I had to know what I was getting myself into. Better now than later.

"Like giving birth to an heir to the throne." Now I knew why his grin was so much wider than normal. It was his real smile, one that cued he was enjoying this parody way too much. He looked like a bully in the playground who knew he had his victim right where he wanted him.

I was too baffled to even speak out any protests. I just widened my eyes to the point where it seemed as if my eyes might pop out of my sockets to express my dread while he conferred me a knowing look.

"You...You tend to hold your farts in, don't you?" I couldn't help give him the stinky-eye.

"What!" He frowned as if he couldn't even begin to comprehend my state of mind.

"You have to. Because that's the only explanation for all of your sh*tty ideas. Since your farts can't find an outlet, they must travel up your spine, into your brain and that's where sh*tty ideas generally come from."