ZYLITH.

NOTICE: Due to the current workload, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off until further notice.

ME: "..."

Recently, I found out that my life was like a test I didn't study for. The enlightenment and the 'NOTICE' woke me up from my muddled stupor while I was being dragged around by the King of Reveldron, meeting and greeting several ministers and officials I didn't remember the names of.

Reuben had my left arm ensnared into his in a taut grip as he conversed with one of his ministers. I wanted to escape this quandary for the fear of being asked questions I might not be able to answer. I had been taught crash course etiquette, but I was still a fake noble. How could I compare if I were to be tested by these old bloodhounds.

I thought this idiot king would get the cue when I pinched his arm like three times, but who was I kidding, trying to signal an idiot and hoping he would get it was like playing Mozart in front of a donkey hoping it would get it.

I sighed for the nth time and tried once more to free myself from Reuben's clutches, but the mummy jerk was too strong. I couldn't even budge. In all honesty, I was so tired my energy level was equal to that of a sloth on Xanax. So, I didn't bother anymore.

I wordlessly roved my eyes around the huge banquet hall in mere curiosity. The nobles of these era were something novel to me after all. You don't get to see the lifestyle and fashion of the high society of the eighties every day, and I was bored. So, I was looking around to entertain myself in a way. But soon came to realize that it wasn't such a great idea because my eyes met the very callous eyes of the Queen dowager who stood a few distance away from us surrounded by other Noble ladies.

I didn't see her during the ceremony, so I thought she wouldn't attend the banquet aftermath because of her thorny relationship with Reuben and co. But I was being too naïve. I should've realized that she was a central political figure amongst the nobility, she definitely would not miss this royal wedding banquet. After working for the nobility for two years, I had come to realize something, and that was, the nobility loved their face. Their ego was the size of a mammoth and they loved to pretend to be righteous. So, she had to attend this banquet to keep some face as the Queen dowager in high society. Right now, she looked every bit the poised gorgeous beauty that she was, shining and elegant in every manner, but the way her eyes were glaring at me was as if she would bite my head off if she could. I almost shuddered at the sight of her, so I turned my head around to look the other way.

"Your Majesty, Her Highness seems bored. Maybe my wife and daughter can entertain her to ease some of her dreariness." An official who looked like a grubby pumpkin muttered in a ratty voice. As such, both I and Reuben looked at the guy in a stanch way and I looked some more.

The man, even though dressed very lavishly, looked tatty in appearance with his floppy bronze hair combed backwards in an unkept manner. He had a pot belly and an avaricious little smile on his thin lips. His weasel like brown eyes, looked identical to one of those insurance policy agents who would do anything legal or illegal to make you sign their contract. The subtle changes in his face seemed to be of a mean person who weighted down the pros and cons of a situation and didn't feel guilty about abandoning his kin if the situation deemed unfavourable. I wouldn't say I was a people person or even an expert at reading people but if you were me, and if you had gone through the things that I had been through, the unpleasant people I had met throughout the past two years of my life, I would say you'd recognize a look of greedy disdain even if you were to be as dense as a brick. Thus, I ruled out this man to be on my list of 'Dislikeable people' the moment I set my eyes on him. However, he looked important, so I didn't dare disregard his presence, but Reuben on the other hand seemed peeved, almost as if he couldn't care less about what this man said or did.

Even if he turned a blind eyes to this man's attempts at getting familiar, Reuben still asked me in a tender voice, "Oh? Are you bored?" I couldn't decipher if he was being sarcastic or being tauntingly amorous. But I didn't really have the time to care about his fun-poking conduct when I saw the faces of the man's approaching wife and daughter.

The wife of the man looked like she was in her mid-thirties. A bit chubby on the inside while her unruly ruddy hair was tucked into an intricate braided bun but was half hidden by a fancy laced red hat. She wore a gaudy maroon costume which, according to me made her look like she jumped right out of a Chaplin comedy show. A bit of a crooked nose and creased red lips coupled with budging blue eyes made her look like a Vancouverite possessing a pompous and tyrannical bearing.

Her daughter, likewise, had the same crooked nose and blue eyes wearing a garish pink gown. But her thin lips and curly copper shaded hairs were an inherent trait of her scrappy father. She looked like a girl in her teens and seemed the whimsical type. She was not that pretty, but she wasn't ugly either. She was smiling at me marvelously like her mother, but her eyes spoke a different story. They flashed with jealousy and looked at me like she wanted to tear me apart; Like her grudge went as deep as the depths of hell. And I felt like she was just one of those plastic girls that you'd want to push into a metal locker and bruise all of her face.

"Your Majesties." She bowed before Reuben and me, but her reluctance was elusively transpired in her posture.

I smiled back at her showing a smile so fake that even China would deny owning it.

"Your Majesty," the wife addressed me in a shrill tone, "We were so eager to greet you, but you looked very unapproachable, so we didn't dare disturb you and His Highness."

"And yet, here you are." I muttered with a dazzling smile.

The smiles of the two women suddenly stiffened a bit but they still persevered.

"I believe it would be very dull to spend your precious time listening to the court affairs of men on your wedding day Your Majesty. Why don't we let these men have their fun talk about court politics while you join us to an enjoyable conversation instead." The wife of the official proposed in an amicable manner, but her eyes squinted like a cunning vixen planning my downfall. Now did I look stupid enough to be duped by such a lousy bait?

If these noble men were like bloodhounds, then the noble women were like vicious snakes who lay low with open mouths and devoured you whole the first opportunity they got. Wouldn't I be eaten alive if I were to follow their lead? But me being one of the central figures in politics now, I couldn't tactlessly dismiss the invitation of nobles no matter how much I wanted to.

So, I decided to borrow the hand of the mighty monarch to solve this problem. I tilted my head a bit towards my instant new husband and looked at him while flapping my eyelashes in a flirtatious manner (I hoped it was enough seductive), "Your Highness, what do you say? I'm not that bored, and I sort of feel you're reluctant to let me go." My smile was a full on 200 watt bright and I feared if I stretched my lips anymore than that my mouth would rip apart.

Get the cue you stupid mummy.

"Oh? My Queen, can you read minds now?" The idiot king retorted, a lopsided small grin hung at the edge of his mouth; a bit provocative if I might add, as if asking 'Are you sure you wanna play it that way?'

I was flabbergasted. This guy was supposed to help me out if I ever hit a dead end, instead he was taking pleasure in my dilemma. My smiling lips couldn't help twitch a bit. At that moment I wished people came with a thirty second trailer, so I could see what I was getting myself into. God, could I ditch him now?

"Why? Didn't you say if I could read your mind, I'd be having an orgasm? Please don't tease me now." I made my voice sound extra sugary to give the charade an added effect.

The air in the atmosphere suddenly dropped to a minus degrees rendering all those who were present speechless, as if stuck by lightning. Reuben's eyes were as wide as a saucer and he couldn't will his lips to move due to the shock of the moment, but who told him to entertain himself at my plight. I had a wicked glint in my eyes as I started, while he widened his eyes if only more, perhaps sensing his impending doom, but it was too late for him to refute; Since you enjoy watching my predicament, I will take pleasure in watching you squirm too.

"You said you're addicted to the way you feel when you think of me. That you always wear the smile I gave you; and didn't you create that beautiful poem for me? My! I could never forget such a heartrending poem by Your Majesty." I watched Reuben's face crumple like a dried-out leaf but I continued nevertheless. "Roses are red, Violets are blue, all my dirty thoughts involve only you. Oh! I'm so touched."

I started reciting all the cringe-worthy, weird and perverted pick up lines I could think of, all the while watching the jerk King lose his cool.

I put my hand over my heart to make my performance seem unfeigned, looking all touched and moved, a bit misty-eyed too. "DARLING, who'd have ever imagined you to be so naughty when you asked me if I sat in sugar because I've got such a sweet ass... I mean buttocks(I feared these primordials would mistake my ass for a donkey if I didn't enlightened them with the specifics). That I'm in all of your inappropriate..."

"My Queen!" Reuben coughed like he was suddenly attacked by asthma. "We haven't had our first dance for the night yet. Why don't we make it to the dance floor now?" He was smiling at me. Smiling alright, but there was not a twinkle in his eyes. He rather looked like he could slaughter a whole village if given the opportunity. I was suddenly scared.

Shit! Me and my mouth. He wouldn't strangle me in the middle of the wedding night now, would he?

Suddenly my temperament was quite meek as I nodded in turn and he looked at our onlookers and stated curtly, "Excuse us if you may." They nodded and bowed in response, still looking like stupefied statuaries. But Reuben didn't care much for their response and directly dragged me away from the noble crowd, and into the dance floor.

The music started to surge as he twirled me around in a violent fashion. I felt this guy would go crazy any second now as he snaked his arms around me and spun me like a top. It was a blessing I took lessons on dancing in the Ronales household for I felt I would stumble and fall on my face if I didn't.

"What was that just now?" He mumbled with gritted teeth.

"Your Highness, I beg your pardon if I offended you, but in my defence, I didn't have any other choice than to act the way I did just then." I croaked back, a little frightened.

"Didn't have any other choice?" I could feel him raising a brow while his spins got fiercer the very next second; and I felt my head spinning with the momentum. Would it be too much to ask for a redo now?

"Your Highness, I don't want to point a finger at you or anything but you very well know my circumstances and know that I might be exposed if I were to mingle too much with the nobles. I had to somehow reject their advances but I couldn't refuse them to their faces, so I had asked for your help in a roundabout way. But since you refused to assist me, I had to come up with something else to save myself."

"And so you decided it was acceptable to sacrifice my dignity to save your skin." That was not a question, but rather a statement that had a cold chill run down my spine. I dared not look him in the eyes in fear of being discarded and guillotined. One of these days, I felt my mouth would land me in big trouble.

"... I'm sorry Your Highness. I wasn't trying to be rude to you. I just felt that our mission was worth staking your dignity for." I don't know how I uttered these few words since I felt my throat corroding with fear but fortunately I did, because this was my wild card. My only card to play against this barbarous beast.

While I was sweating like a pig from head to toe, I suddenly heard a vigorous laughter reverberating in my ears and I hesitantly raised my head to look at the king. He was stifling his laughter in his throat, but it was still resurfacing out of his frame; shaking his shoulders hysterically and quivering in an ecstatic fashion; he was red in the face and an elated bliss swam in his deep green eyes.

"Dear Gods! I have never met a more peculiar woman than you, my fake Lizzy. I could never compel that roguish minister Durriken to make a face like that just now. I must applaud you for your talents, my lady." He smiled in delight.

Why did I feel like a clown all of a sudden?

TO BE CONTINUED...