Chapter 30

Rachael wasn’t sure how one was supposed to go about checking out a book when there was no librarian. There was a card in the front of the book where she could write her name and file that somewhere, like in the olden days, but she didn’t want to do that either. She really didn’t want anyone to know that she had the book at all. Looking for it online had been futile, and since this hardbound book was her only opportunity to actually attempt to figure out what Wadsworth McCall might know about portals and world’s morphing into one another, she decided to just sit in the library and read it for a while.

Leaving the overhead lights off so that no one passing by would wander in to see what was going on. She even considered putting a larger book over the back cover, in case someone did come in but decided against it. The fact that Jared had said her grandfather was involved in some of the experiments or research in the book should’ve been reason enough for her to want to read it. Surely, she could come up with a story to explain herself should anyone question her. She was a writer after all.

A few chapters into the book, Rachael got an understanding of what Rex meant when he was discussing the book earlier. A lot of it did seem like the random ramblings of a man who’d lost his marbles. Perhaps someone with a background in physics or astronomy would’ve had a better chance at following what Dr. McCall the senior was attempting to say, but Rachael had neither of those things, and by the end of chapter three, she was ready to toss the book across the room. At least there seemed to be very little chance of some random reader picking up the book and discovering she’d done something to make the world in her novel collide with the world she had known up until a few days ago.

But that didn’t mean Jared couldn’t put the pieces together. It seemed like he was already suspicious of her for some reason. He had been nice enough when he’d come to talk to her, but there was something more there, something he wasn’t saying. She could see it in his eyes.

Flipping back to the table of contents, she read through it again, trying to decide if there was a particular chapter that might offer further enlightenment as to what had happened. Perhaps something about fictional worlds coming to life, or writing oneself into a story. She saw nothing dealing with books at all. Out of frustration, she slammed the book closed and set it on the coffee table in front of her, wishing she could’ve kept Wadsworth McCall alive long enough to talk to him in person. Of course, had she done that, there was a good chance everyone would know what she’d done, and while she wasn’t sure it mattered so much if they knew she had written the novel that became their world, she didn’t want anyone to know that she was responsible for Chell’s death--especially not Graham.

Thinking of him, she pulled her phone out of her pocket to make sure she hadn’t missed any calls or texts. She did have one from Jazz from about twenty minutes ago, asking where she was going. She answered it quickly enough now that she saw it. “Headed to the library.” That’s all she needed to know for now. Jazz was probably so busy with the boys she wouldn’t come looking for her. But Graham hadn’t sent her a text or called.

Why would he? Just because he had stopped by her dorm room the night before, that didn’t mean he was interested in her. She was just another recruit to him, one who happened to be staying in his ex-girlfriend’s dorm room. That was probably his true reason for coming by, just to see if she’d destroyed the place yet. He would just love it when he saw the bedspread she’d bought--not that there was any reason why he would ever see that.

Part of her wanted to forget all of this and just head back to Baltimore, find a way to get her apartment back and all of her stuff out of storage. If she could quit Merek and Merek to become a writer in her old reality, she could do that again now, couldn’t she? Granted, the story that had brought her financial independence was no longer an option. She would have to come up with another idea, something different, and she wasn’t sure she had another winner. Sure, she had a million ideas for stories, but none of them were as fleshed out as this one, and she didn’t have the passion to write anything else the way she did this.

Feeling defeated, Rachael took the book and walked it back over to the shelf. She could see exactly where it belonged; the hole she’d created when she pulled it out was still there. But she decided not to put it back where she’d gotten it. Instead, she moved it to another section of the library entirely, one she figured no one really used much, not that anyone used the library at all from what she could tell. Wedged between some books about calculations for measuring ingredients for spells, she figured the book would be exactly where she’d left it the next time she went looking for it, if she should ever decide to give it another try. Rachael left the library, no longer optimistic about her situation and feeling like a failure in every part of her life.

Her eyes were downcast all the way home. She might’ve ran into someone if there’d been anyone out and about. Once she walked into the other building, she had a good indication as to why no one was mulling around. A movie was playing in the student lounge, and from the sound of things, several people were enjoying it. She heard lots of laughter and voices seeping from around the closed doors. She wondered if Jazz was in there. It wouldn’t surprise her if she was, though she doubted Rex was. He likely went back to his room to continue to study footage. Where he’d gotten any of it, she wasn’t sure, but it wasn't standard YouTube postings he was watching.

There was no question Rachael wouldn’t be joining the other kids. She moped her way up the stairs, eyes on her shoes, debating whether or not she should call it quits. Looking up only long enough to press her code into the door that led to their wing, she found her way to her apartment and would’ve ran smack into the man standing outside of her room if she hadn’t seen the tips of his boots before she did so.

“You okay?” Graham asked, one hand on his hip as he looked at her, the other stroking his chin. “You look like you just lost your best friend.

Rachael thought that sounded odd coming from him, since he had recently done just that, but she didn’t go there. Seeing him helped her find a smile. “I’m okay. What are you doing here?

He shrugged as if he didn’t have an answer for that. “I just got back. Grabbed some dinner. Jared mentioned he’d spoken to you about a few things, so I thought I’d stop by. But then, you weren’t here, so I was going to text you. Is everything all right?

“No,” she admitted, not sure where she was going with this. Unburdening her soul and telling him everything was an option, but then, he would never be looking for her again if she did that. “I guess I’m just missing home.

“I can understand that.” He gave her a sympathetic smile. “It won’t be long until you feel at home here, though.

She had a feeling that might not ever be the case for her, but it was nice of him to say. Meowing on the other side of the door alerted her to the fact that her kitty was aware she was keeping her from her main squeeze. “You wanna come in for a minute? Say hello to Scrappy?” Rachael didn’t think about the fact that this was his dead fiancee’s room or what he might think of her for inviting him in until after the question was out of her mouth.

“Sure,” Graham said, his smile changing into something else, something less sympathetic and more… friendly.

No longer concerned with the thoughts that had weighed her down on her slow march from the library, Rachael opened the door and ushered him inside.

Next chapter