Chapter 12

After the cop questioning me had locked me in, a stream of drunk teenagers in party outfits brought a wave of the smell of cigarette and booze into the station. A few of them still haven't given up trying to get away from the police as they tried to get their elbows out of the officers' grips to no avail.

Eventually, everyone was crammed into the two holding cells in the police station and we were forced to share the two small spaces until the police lets us out.

A dude high off his ass stumbled over his own feet as he walked around the small cell. Every time he faced the direction Alex and I was sitting at, I would ever so subtly inch closer to Alex to gain a sense of security.

I didn't like the fact that I was depending on someone in this situation. Ever since I stopped being close friends with Alex 4 years ago, I swore to myself that I wasn't going to let myself depend on another individual for anything. I haven't let anyone in since then, out of fear that I would unconsciously start letting them define my happiness for me.

Some people might say that that's a good thing and that I'm doing it right but I know that it is to a certain point, but beyond that point, it starts being unhealthy. But depending on another person like that can really mess someone up. Even the thought of letting someone in and have them walk out without a word like Alex did makes it feel like there's something heavy being laid on my chest. The possibility of having them think "Enough." and have them drop you the next second and walk out on you was terrifying to me. I didn't know if I would be able to survive another one of those. So I've chosen to play safe.

But it didn't change the fact that I was grateful that Alex was there with me in the holding cell. No matter how much I tried to deny it, his presence did make me feel a bit safer.

The second that the stoned guy started staggering our way, Alex glared at the guy so intensely that he backed off, opting to sit at the other corner of the cell with the other kids from the party that I was arrested from.

"What are you in here for?" I turned to look at Alex in surprise. I thought he wouldn't want to talk to me since he's been avoiding me lately.

It took me a second to remember that I need to answer him to have a conversation with him.

"Uh, I'm not sure. I was in a party and it got crashed by the police, I got caught and brought here." I shared, rubbing the back of my neck.

The exhaustion was catching up to me. The leftover adrenaline was keeping me awake but I would get flashes of fatigue that made me feel like I can pass out any second right then and there.

"What about you? Why are you in here?" I threw the question back at him, forcing my mind to focus on something else instead of the drowsiness that was catching up to me.

Alex shrugged. "I'll be out soon."

That was Alex for you. Doesn't speak much.

I sighed quietly to myself, knowing that if I pressed him for more, he'll just get annoyed. He was my only human shield in this cell. If he abandons me in this small space full of sketchy people, I'll be left to fend for myself against people that I would probably avoid in the streets after it gets dark.

So I stayed quiet, bringing my knees up to my chest and pressing my lips against my jean-cladded knees. I tried to keep my gaze from wandering around the cell too much, not fancying the idea of locking eyes with anyone in this cell and having them turn out to be a psychopath and end up being their object of fascination.

I know that's a wild thought. Your girl has been watching way too many thriller movies. Bear with me.

After an hour of struggling to keep my consciousness, I rested my head on top of my knees and faced Alex, closing my eyes to try and let it get some rest. As you can probably imagine, that was quite hard to do when you're sitting with 10 other people that might actually be in that holding cell for a legitimate reason and your brain is screaming at your senses to be alert to be able to defend yourself when the need comes. After a few seconds of letting my eyes rest, my thoughts overpowered me and I peeled my eyes open.

I stared at Alex's face as he watched the policemen in the station walk back and forth from one desk to another, picking up ringing phones from their desk, typing away at their computers. Looking at Alex was my best bet. Since my brain wanted me to keep my eyes peeled for any juvenile that might jump me, but at the same time, I don't necessarily want to accidentally provoke any of the juveniles that was sitting in that cell with me, I simply chose to stare at my ex-best friend.

No matter how much Alex hates my guts or is annoyed by me, I know he'd never hurt me.

I can't say the same for the rest of the people in our holding cell, though.

I didn't try to strike another conversation with him, I just stared at him and practically bore a hole into the side of his face. It genuinely felt like I had a million of questions that I've been wanting to ask him in my head but I knew that it wasn't something Alex felt like talking about, both in this situation and out of this situation. So I just asked my questions without actually saying them out loud in my head.

I just let the questions brew in my head and try to figure out his answers as I kept my eyes glued to his face.

"Since when did you start getting panic attacks?"

"Is that why you're addicted to smoking now?"

"Did it start happening before, during, or after our friendship?"

"Have you been feeling alone this entire time?"

"Why did you never reach out?"

"Do you know that it's okay to reach out and ask for help?"

"Do you even remember that we were once close friends?"

"Do you know that you can ask me for help anytime you feel like you need it?"

"Do you know that you're not alone?"

I paused.

"Are you okay?"

The rusty hinges of the door to the holding cell made a loud creak as it opened and my head moved to look at who was being shoved inside our cell this time.

However, a cop stood in front of the door alone instead, the same one that questioned me before putting me in the cell. He locked eyes with me and waved me over.

My eyebrows flew to my hairline in surprise as my finger pointed to myself to confirm that he was actually gesturing to me.

The cop nodded and continued to wave me over.

I stood up from the floor slowly, stealing a glimpse at Alex who was watching me, before walking towards the exit of the cell.

The cop let me out before closing the door behind me and locking it again.

"You're clean, you're free to go." He told me, giving me my personal belongings.

"Just like that?" I asked him in shock, my hands felt numb as I took my things from him.

He raised a brow at me. "I thought you'd be happy that you're out of that cell considering you freaked out so much when we had to put you in."

I felt my face warm up at the mention of my breakdown earlier. I cleared my throat to speak more clearly. "I just thought it'll take longer to prove that I wasn't doing anything illegal."

"Yeah, someone up there must be looking out for you, kid. The test results came out pretty quickly and showed that you're clean and we managed to get CCTV recordings from inside the house too and it really helped a lot." The officer explained.

I nodded, thanking him. I've always been anxious and nervous around police officers although I've never done anything illegal before in my life but this officer had been kind to me from the second I stepped into the station. I knew that he had put me in that cell because he had to follow protocols.

He nodded and gave me a smile and was about to walk away but I managed to stop him before he could bury himself in his work again. "Wait."

He turned to me, "Anything else I can help you with?"

I bit my lip, hesitating for a second. Should I really ask this?

I didn't wanna turn around and look back to the cell so I could only drop my eyes to the floor beside my feet.

"Uh, the guy that I was sitting next to.." I trailed off, not knowing how to phrase the next thing I wanted to say.

The cop looked into the cell and seemed to pinpoint Alex before looking back at me. "Yeah, what about him? Is he your friend?"

I nodded, "Can you tell me why he's in there?"

The cop scratched the back of his neck, looking uncomfortable. "Ah, uh, I'm not supposed to tell you anyone's personal information but I guess.." The cop shrugged.

"We caught him with a spray can in hand and was about to charge him with vandalism." The cop said, looking past me, over my shoulder, probably at the guy we're talking about.

I frowned hearing that. I know that I'm neither aware of what's happening in Alex's life in the past few years nor have I talked to him for that amount of time but I don't remember Alex as an art kid and I don't think he has ever spray painted anything before, he's just not the type of person who would do something like that.

"Don't worry, though, we found a CCTV footage that showed another guy with the spray paint vandalizing the property. Your friend just happened to be there in the wrong time and got caught with the spray paint in his hand. He'll be released soon after the officer in charge finishes the paperwork." The officer told me.

I nodded, thanking him and letting him walk away to get back to his work. I looked behind me, into the cell, to see Alex. He was watching the cops busy themselves with their work, looking bored out of his mind. It was just then that I realized there were no traces of nervousness or anxiety in his eyes despite him being locked up in a holding cell in the police station.

I sighed, looking at the exit door of the station that led out to the streets. It was already late at night and it just didn't feel right to leave him here alone especially since he acted as my moral support and practically my defender in that holding cell. I know that he didn't really do anything to keep me safe in the cell but if he wasn't in there with me during that time, I would probably be dead from all the anxiety attacks I'd have to endure for the hour that I was in there.

He might not know it but he saved me that night and it didn't feel right to walk out of that station without him. I didn't like the feeling of being an ungrateful bitch.

Besides, the cop did say that he'll be released soon. It's only right that I wait for him to get out too.

So I walked over to the empty benches by the exit door and took a seat, crossing my arms over my chest and rested my head against the wall behind me as I stared at the ceiling, waiting for Alex to be released.

It took another half an hour before Alex was released and I almost missed him as he stepped out of the station. I jumped to my feet and ran after him as best as I could in my heels. Damn these heels.

"Alex!" I called out after him.

He whipped around, looking surprised to see me there. "I thought you went home."

I shook my head, catching my breath.

Alex looked around, taking out his phone from his pocket. "It's pretty late. Is someone picking you up?"

I shook my head. Since we were both 18 and legally adults, and found innocent, the cops weren't obliged to notify our parents and I didn't want to alert mine in particular, especially after what had happened with Lily the other day. They might just maim me.

Alex typed something into his phone before bringing it to his ear. He spoke into it for a few seconds before hanging up and turning to me. "My brother's coming. He's in a pissy mood so you might just have to stay over 'cause I don't think he's up for driving you home."

I nodded understandingly. My house was on the other side of town while theirs was in the area. "As long as you're okay with it."

Alex nodded and I fished out my phone, just remembering to call Kimmy.

She picked up on the second ring. "OH MY GOD. ARE YOU OKAY? WHERE ARE YOU? WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME SOONER, YOU BITCH! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD IN A DITCH SOMEWHERE!"

I winced, bringing the phone away from my ear before I turn deaf from all the yelling.

"I'm okay, Kim. I'll tell you everything tomorrow. I'm with Alex, can you tell my parents I'm at yours, though? Just tell them that my battery died and that I'm showering or something." I waved my hand around dismissively although she can't see me. "Oh, and that I'll be home tomorrow morning."

I was pretty sure Kimmy must've managed to get away when she didn't come into the station in cuffs like the rest of the kids after me but it was still nice to be reassured when I heard her voice.

"Yeah, sure thing. Okay, stay safe. Don't forget to call me tomorrow when you get home." She said before I hung up.

Alex and I stood outside the station awkwardly as we waited for his brother to pull up in a black sedan.

"That's my brother.." Alex sighed. If I remembered right, Alex doesn't sigh a lot. It's a bad sign when he sighs.

But then again, I haven't talked to him for a pretty long time and people change right?

I'd like to think positively like that that rather than believe that it's going to be a long 15 minute ride home.

Nevertheless, I mentally prepared myself for the worst.

'Cause you know how it goes - hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

The sedan came to a full stop right in front of us and Alex pulled the door to the passenger seat open to climb in.

I followed half a second later only to hear his full name getting called in that 'you're in for some deep shit, young man' tone.

It wasn't even my name getting called but I can feel it in my bones as I winced before climbing into the backseat discreetly.

It's definitely gonna be a long and awkward ride home for me.

Next chapter