I awoke before Kristen who didn’t seem to notice the sun’s orange beam blaring through the living room window. Finding my shorts, I stretched and made for the back door. The tiny hill that led to the shed was filled with roots; all of which had the same intention of tripping anyone who stepped over them. Luckily, the key to this box of rotten termite scraps was still under the same rock that it had been since the dawn of time. Or, at least since my family had come here for a summer vacation.

When I got the shed open, a shotgun immediately fell out, and onto the ground in front of me. I opened the chamber, and saw one bullet. The next thing I noticed was an old row boat. Pulling it out into the open air, I could almost hear laughter, as if a lifetime of happy memories were preserved in the boat’s wood.

After I found an old fishing rod, and dug out enough earthworms to fill half a coffee tin, I brought the boat into the lake. I figured I could come back with a couple fish to fry up, and have another round in the ring with Kristen, afterwards.

I was out on the water for five hours. The sky had turned from a hazy orange to a deep bruise purple, and I didn’t catch a single fish. Rocking back and forth on the water didn’t come close to creating a sense of comfort. No, it boiled a pot of anger. Pass the bar? Kristen has no idea that ship had sailed away, like my family after giving me the parting gift of this lakehouse. Of course I couldn’t pass the bar. It was something that I had to do on my own. Mommy and daddy couldn’t get me out of this one.

What an utter failure I had become. This is the man that the perfect partner is stuck with. Maybe she isn’t so perfect, afterall. I screamed until my throat felt like it was wrapped in sandpaper. And, after it grew hoarse, I screamed some more. You would think that watching the sunset would have helped me cool down. Nope, I hated sunsets. I know. What kind of crazy nut job says he hates sunsets? Well, to most a sunset is one of nature’s greatest beauties. To me, it meant another wasted day. And, as I thought about that day, I realized that sunrise only brought another day to waste

Three long months passed. That’s ninety days. So, to me, that’s ninety wasted days. It didn’t even seem to faze me anymore. If Kristen wasn’t working late for her boss, Ronald Tursi, she was going in early. Morning quickies were replaced with patterned pecks, conversation became passing grunts fit for a subway terminal, and meals were frozen piles of mystery meat and soggy carrots. Every day I would tell Kristen that I was studying, or maybe I was going to fix that leaky faucet, but it was never true. I’d take the test in the winter, fail, and be at the same exact spot I was now. Maybe you could tell me what exactly is the point of it all.

My main comfort now was the row boat. Everyday I would go out onto the water, lay down with my hat over my face, and sleep the day away. Of course I tried to be productive, but it was pointless. I had never lived for myself. I went to college for my parents, law school for Kristen, and now I had no idea what I wanted. Kristen was the only beacon of hope for me in the endlessly twisting path that was my life. And, well, with her gone for sometimes three quarters of any given day, I was lost.