A slight wind wakes me up. I'm on the floor but I don't remember how I got there.

How did this happen to me?

I curl up in a ball but the tears refuse to fall. I don't know how I'm going to tell Patricia, or Frederic or anyone, as a matter of fact. I can't go to the police station in the state I'm in and I don't even think there'd be a point. The man is already wanted for murder, my telling them wouldn't aid in the investigation, it would only expose me. Thoughts swirl in my mind as I try to figure out what to do. My phone ringing pulls me out of my reverie.

The caller ID shows that it's Patricia but I don't pick up. If I do, she'll instantly know that something is wrong and I'm not ready to tell her. She'll only blame herself and the only person to blame is me. If I had given them a call, this wouldn't have happened.

*Ding.* You were supposed to call me! But I guess you're asleep. Good luck again, I'll have a nice lunch waiting for you when you get back.

I sigh and put the phone back in my pocket. I feel for my other belongings and everything is there. I guess he didn't find anything else of worth.

I know I can't stay on the street and I still have my class tomorrow so I chin up and continue the journey home. The numbness is starting to fade and the pain escalates. I grit my teeth and stumble down the street, fighting through it and making sure to keep to the lights no matter what.

You just need to lay down, Annelise. You'll lie down and when you wake up tomorrow you'll realize that this isn't such a big deal. You'll be fine.

--------------------------

"Annelise? What are you doing here?" Patricia asks me from the couch. Bella and Franky are seated on the floor and using the couch as a backrest. They're watching reruns of Gossip Girl. Fun.

My first instinct is to tell her the truth but I push it under. My second is to tell her that Frederic and I had a fight but then I think about what I would have to tell him and I change my mind.

"Uhh, I didn't want to stay there anymore. So I, um, I had Freddie drop me off. Wanted to sleep in my own bed." I pull my hoodie over my head and walk to our room, trying not to wince. "It's cold outside," I tell her in reply to her questioning look.

I feel her eyes on me but I don't turn back. I strip down upon entering the room and head straight into the bathroom to examine my profile, making sure to lock the door.

I conclude that the scratches and bruises can be covered up with makeup but I don't know what I'm going to do about the ones I can't see. Filling the tub with hot water, I sink in up to my nose. The heat burns but I welcome it; this is a pain I can control. The water turns pink as my blood mixes with it.

The door-handle for the bathroom jingles and I jerk up. "Ellie?" Patricia knocks on the door. She only calls me that when she's extremely worried about me. "Ellie, please open the door. Why'd you lock the door?"

I don't want to answer her but I know she won't give up until I do. "I'm fine, Pat, just tired. I just wanna take a bath then head to bed."

"Did you guys have a fight?"

"Nope," I reply, popping the 'p' to try and sound playful. "Honestly, I just missed my bed and wanted to be around you guys, even if I'm not with you."

"Oh, okay," she says but she doesn't sound convinced, "I'll leave you to it then."

Once my skin wrinkles I run a new bath and scrub until I'm tender, trying to erase all the possible traces of him from my body.

I exit the bathroom quietly so Pat wouldn't hear that I'm done with my bath and limp to the wardrobe. I pack my sports bag, making sure to pack extra makeup. I usually pack in the mornings but the fear of getting caught spurs me on. Spending any extra time in the only bathroom putting on makeup wouldn't help my case. I put the bag back so I wouldn't arouse any suspicion and get into bed, pulling the covers tight over my head.

But sleep refuses to come; anytime I close my eyes I'm back in the alley with hands all over me. I need the lights on. I turn on the bedside lamp and move the covers to under my nose.

I normally pray before going to bed but I'm too angry and confused so I decided to skip it.

One night wouldn't hurt. I tell myself as exhaustion eventually takes over me and I fall asleep.

--------------------------

By the time I wake up the sun is already starting to rise, I overslept. I look across the room to Patricia's bed and thankfully it's empty. I'm guessing she slept with Bella and Franky in the living room. That's good; more privacy for me.

I stand up to fast but a pain in my pelvic area forces me back down. I cover my mouth so my cry doesn't alert anyone and immediately freeze up as last night's memories come flooding back. I abruptly remove my hand from my mouth and hobble to the bathroom.

How are you going to get through your routines if you're this sore? A voice in my head asks me.

I ignore it and pick up my toothbrush. My reflection causes me to do a double-take. Some of the bruises on my chin and neck are turning purple. I look at my thighs and I'm faced with the same predicament. How the heck am I going to cover all this up?

The bathroom door opens suddenly and Patricia walks in. I refrain from slapping my forehead; I forgot that she does her devotionals around this time and she must have heard me get up. Her eyes widen and start to fill with tears as she takes in my features. "Annelise," she says with caution like she doesn't want to scare me away. "What happened to you face?"

"I tripped," is the first thing that comes out and I groan internally. That's the stupidest answer to give but I can't take it back. I keep my face straight so I don't give anything away.

"You tripped? Do you seriously want me to believe that?" She asks slowly, crossing her arms.

"You can believe whatever you want, Pat," I say sharply. I push past her and make a beeline for the wardrobe to grab a black pantyhose.

"I'm going to kill him." She mutters.

Tell her.

I steel my voice and turn to her, "Kill who, Pat?"

"That bastard, Frederic! How dare he think he can raise a hand to you?" She looks ready to slap some sense into me as well.

"You don't know what you're talking about; Frederic didn't do anything to me. I tripped getting out of the car and hit my chin."

"And the finger marks on your neck? Explain that, Ellie?"

I want to tell her the truth but something is holding me back. I grab a scarf from the wardrobe and throw it on, "Maybe it was the light from the bathroom; I didn't see whatever you saw."

She moves to stand in front of me. "So why are you wearing a scarf? It's not that cold."

"Well maybe I'm cold, did you think of that? Stop jumping to crazy conclusions." Patricia gives me a sad look as she cocks her head to the side and I lose it. "Stop. Don't look at me as if I'm insane, Patricia. Nothing happened between Freddie and me. Now please, get out of my way."

A look of hurt flashes across her face and I'm unable to stop the tears from welling up this time. I grab my bag, shove past her and head for the front door. The argument must have woken Franky and Bella because they're standing in the living room looking worried and displaced.

"Is everything okay?" Franky asks with a small voice. The fact that Franky is the one asking makes me even sadder. But I push the emotions down. I push everything I'm feeling down and leave the house without another word.

After turning the corner, I sink into the nearest bench and break down, body shaking from dry sobs. I don't know how I'm going to get through this without telling anyone. I don't know how long I'll be able to keep this from Pat before it boils over.

Tell her, Annelise.

No, I reply the voice, I'm in this alone.

My phone begins to vibrate, I pull it out to see Frederic's caller id. So he's finally awake.

"Hello?"

"Annelise I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened, I must have fallen asleep. I was so tired yesterday. I'm so sorry," he pours out.

Somehow, my desire to talk to him disappears upon hearing his voice and I'm filled with anger. "It's fine."

He doesn't reply for a few seconds as if waiting for me to say more. "Hello?" he says finally.

"Yeah?"

"I wasn't sure if you were still on the line; I couldn't hear you."

I walk down the last few feet to the bus stop and roll my eyes, "I said it's fine."

"Oh... How did you get back to your apartment?"

"I walked."

"You... walked? At night? Are you okay?" He actually manages to sound concerned.

No, you idiot. If you weren't so useless I - I shake the thought out of my head.

"Yeah... look, I have to go. My bus is here." I hang up before he can reply. I pull my scarf up to cover my chin and sink into my bus seat, hoping I look as invisible as possible.

By the time the bus reaches my stop my thighs aren't feeling as sore as before and I begin to feel confident that I would be able to put all this stuff behind me. My mood lifts and I even give the bus driver a tip.

I take a place at the bar to begin stretching after applying my makeup and getting dressed. My instructor walks in with a surprised look on her face.

I give her a slight curtesy before asking if everything was okay.

"Yes, my dear. It's just that I saw the news about the shooting so I didn't expect you to come in today, plus you're early. Isn't that where you work?" She gives me a small smile, "I wouldn't have minded if you skipped, Atalia."

Ms. Bernard insists on addressing me by my second name; she claims Annelise is too much of a mouthful. My mother and grandmother were the only ones that called me that before I moved here and it causes a pang in my heart anytime she calls me that. The name has apparently been passed on for generations by the women on my mother's side. It means God is great in Hebrew; I was certainly not feeling that way at the moment.

"Yes, Ms. Bernard, but I didn't want to use that as an excuse to start slacking," I inform her politely.

She looks like she wants to say more but refrains from doing so. She taps her heel on the floor twice, instructing me to continue stretching.

I try to bring myself into a standing split but the pain in my groin becomes white-hot and I can't stop myself from tumbling down. What was I thinking? I can't do this.

Ms. Bernard rushes to me in fear. "Are you alright, dear?"

I swallow the lump in my throat and nod. I stand up to attempt another stretch but I must have pulled something because I can barely stand before doubling over. She gives me a few moments to rest but the tone for the rest of the rehearsal is set and I continue to fail at even the simple moves.

Ms. Bernard can't take it anymore and cuts the rehearsal an hour short. "You clearly need to rest from something. Did you not do any of your stretches, Atalia?"

"I did, Ms. Bernard," I tell her, my voice breaking. She eyes me and I try to keep myself from trembling, eventually, she lets out a sigh and turns away.

"Go home, dear, but I'll see you Monday morning. Remember, bright and early."

"Yes, ma'am." I wait a few moments after she leaves before rushing out of the studio. I inhale the fresh air and will myself to be calm, swallowing the emotions that were threatening to erupt.

It's been less than 24 hours, Annelise, you can't expect to be in tip-top shape. But you're strong and you will get through this rough patch. Next challenge: avoiding Patricia.

--------------------------

The guilt of how I treated Pat is causing my stomach to turn and I realize I haven't eaten anything since last night. Hunger pangs join the guilt train and I suddenly feel sick. I get to the front door only to realize I'd forgotten my keys. So much for the steering clear of her.

You live together in a small apartment, how were you going to avoid her?

The door opens less than a minute after my knock and I'm greeted with the sight of Bella.

"Surprise!" She yells, "But you're early."

I ignore her and walk in to see the table set and Franky and Pat sitting at it. "I promised you lunch didn't I?" Patricia says. She's smiling but I know she's still upset about earlier this morning. She studies my face and her eyes harden. She manages to get rid of the look before anyone else notices.

"We noticed you weren't in a good mood when you left this morning so decided to help Pat with lunch," Bella says, moving to stand in front of me. "Three is better than one and luckily we were able to finish it on time."

I give them all a toothpaste smile, "The practice was cut short and I'm sorry about this morning. I'll just freshen up and I'll be right back."

I hear a chair scrape back as I enter the room and I hope it's only Bella sitting down.

"Don't forget to put your makeup back on after your shower," Pat says from the doorway with a faux sweetness. Of course, it's her. I don't know why I'm surprised; it wouldn't be the first time my hopes were dashed today.

I'm suddenly overcome with the feeling of loneliness. "What the heck do you mean by that?" I spit out; deciding to be as nasty as possible. Why wouldn't she just leave me alone?

"Oh, please," she retorts, "Bruises don't disappear that fast."

"What's your problem?" I yell at her. I'd rather have run into her arms and tell her what was going on.

"Me?" she asks incredulously, "What the heck is wrong with you? I'm here trying to look out for you and you're acting like an idiot! When you don't report abuse you're taking some of the blame unto yourself and I'm not going to stand around and allow you to get treated like crap. Is it because you called him late? Was that the reason? Has he called to apologize and tell you he wasn't thinking straight?" She adds sarcastically.

I jerk back as if I was slapped. My heart was screaming for comfort but I refused to give in. "I don't remember putting an ad out for a mother when mine died," I hiss at her. It's her turn to be shocked. "I told you nothing happened between Freddie and I and you need to leave it at that."

I turn from her and enter the bathroom before she can reply, slamming the door for emphasis.

She loves you, Annelise, just like I do.

I cover my face with my palms and scream, not caring if the girls hear. I know I've hurt Pat enough that she won't come and check on me. Franky and Bella would most likely be keeping her company. I hear the front door slam some minutes later. They must have gone out to eat instead.

A sob rakes through my body as the tears finally fall. I curl into a fetal position on the floor and let it all out.