With my hooded eyes, I open my right eye and I see Cyrus looking at me while lifting me out of the car. This vulnerable feeling is unfamiliar to me. He tries to adjust my body for him to lift me inside my brother’s house.

“Why are you here?” I whisper while I keep on touching his beard face.

“To rescue my damsel in distress.” He says casually and laughs afterward. “Now, sleep.”

My traitorous eyes close at his demands. He carries me inside and place me in something soft and covers me with a blanket and duvet to keep me warm.

He whispers near my ear before I doze off. “Sleep and I will protect you here.”

•••

The room is bright with lights on and there are murmurs around the small room. Even with a headache, I open my eyes and reveal my brother’s face that is in a deep shade of red and Cyrus keeping my brother from getting near me. Everything slowly sinks in my mind. The danger in the bar, them rescuing us, and oh no…

“Angel? Where’s Angel?” Tears brimming in the edges of my eyes and I look at them with the hopes that Angel is alright and that she is unharmed.

“Ashleigh! You don’t have the right to call Angel again because of what you did! You are my sister but you also broke my trust,” Keil shouts and keeps on pointing his fingers in me.

I tilt my head. “What did I do wrong?”

“Should I remind you that you brought Angel to an unknown bar and even put her life in danger? You caused her some trauma and you have the guts to asks me that question. What is wrong with you?” Keil punches Cyrus to let him go but Cyrus didn’t let him.

I keep on grasping my blanket as I am afraid of what would Keil do to me if Cyrus is not here. I have never seen Keil acts like this from his previous girlfriends, only to Angel. What’s with Angel that he becomes possessive and obsessive with her and her safety?

I admit that I might have put her life in danger but what about me, my life is put in danger too. If she’s trauma about it that all she did was see me struggles, then, what about me that was almost molested, about to be killed. I should be the one to be trauma but I know to myself that it’s my fault, it’s always my fault. I never did anything good for myself. I never did anything good for my family. I never did anything good for my friends. And now, I never did anything good for everyone.

“Enough, Kiel!” Aicelle shouts from the doorway. She runs towards the bed while Kiel is still struggling in Cyrus’s grasp.

“Aicelle, no, don’t go near me. Kiel is right, it is me who is wrong all along…”

She cups my face. “No, it isn’t your fault. It’s nobody’s fault and you both are safe.”

She puts her attention back towards Kiel. “Kiel stops struggling or I will chain you up again. Go, and make sure Angel is fine.”

“How’s mom? Is she fine in there?” I drift her attention to our mother as I don’t want her to question about what I feel or anything.

“Yes, she’s doing fine and maybe you’ll see her next month after she will be discharged.” Aicelle pats my back. “Ready to tell me what truly happened?”

“I don’t remember anything at all except that there’s someone who points a sharp knife in my hips. The images I see are blurry like my mind just made it up.” My tears stream down and I am not ashamed to show my vulnerability in my sister.

“You have to rest.” Aicelle puts a blanket over my neck but I stop her.

“No, big sister, I am afraid I will disobey you for now. I have to ask for Angel’s forgiveness.” I get out of the bed and went straight to Angel’s room in this house.

Kiel looks at me with daggers in his eyes and I shift my gaze towards Angel who is chewing food in her mouth.

“Angel,” I call her attention and she looks at me with that shyness in her eyes.

“No need to apologize, Ash. It was also my fault, if only I stopped you from drinking too much…”

“Enough! This is not your fault, love, it was all her fault and she should be the one to blame,” my brother says. I don’t know about my brother anymore, he’s not the same understanding brother I’ve known.

“Get out, Ash, we don’t need you here.” My brother pushes me out of the room and all I do is cry my heart out as he closes the door in my face.

“Let him rest for a while. He is also trying not to breakdown in front of you about what happened to both you and Angel. He panics the moment he saw that Angel is gone.”

That made me look at Cyrus. Yes, Angel, Angel, Angel. Always about Angel. He would catch a bullet for Angel and would still blame it on his sister. Great!

“Your car has been found in a gasoline station and it is now ready to be used anytime,” Cyrus says and walks with me.

“Thank you but I have to get away from you.” I run towards my room and he follows me behind.

“Why?”

“Because you would only distract me. I know you and my brother are talking about business the night you arrive here and I want you to treat me like how you treat my brother and sister. Acquaintance, because that is what we are. Just acquaintance.” I open the door and went straight to Aicelle who also look at Cyrus with pity in her eyes.

Cyrus walks away. He turns his back on us and I hear his heavy steps slowly fading.

“You don’t have to shut him off. He will be your new bodyguard and don’t mind Kiel for now. He will move on at his own pace,” Aicelle whispers and has this serious aura.

“Thank you, big sister.” I hug her tight and refrain to cry in her arms.

“You are always welcome, little sister.” She hugs me tight also and wipes the tears that stream down my face. “Yasmin calls me today and she said that they need your presence in a lunch meeting. Should I call her back and tell her that you aren’t available?”

“No, thanks, sis. I will go to work today,” I say as I open my closet and find a corporate attire to wear and as I put it down my bed, my head feels like a feather. Pain surging in my head and I clutch the water and the pills that are in my bedside table. Arggh, hangover.

“Hangover?” Aicelle asks and laughs at my crumpled face.

“Obviously. Why do you think I would intake the pills?” Aicelle laughs and went out of my room.

I went to the bathroom and take a long bath. After I get ready, I bade goodbye to Aicelle and rides the car I left to old Joe. The guards greet me with enthusiasm and my colleagues are smiling with bright faces. It looks like I am the only one with this indescribable facial expression.

Brey, Yasmin’s secretary, push open the door of the meeting room for me. Everyone inside stands up to welcome me and I just sit it in my table beside Yasmin and bow my head at them.

“Girl, where have you been? Good thing, you arrive just in time,” she whispers and passes me the papers she had in hand.

“What is this all about? I still have the hangover, could you please just tell me?” I clutch my head as the pain from hangover appears again. I am not drinking too much again.

“It’s about the company's decision to send a representative for the launching of the new magazine issue and they want to send you there,” she whispers at me while looking at the presentation in a projector.

“What? Are they serious?”

“Yes. Now, listen, and don’t be stubborn.” Yasmin pretends to sort the papers in her place while all the board members including Brey and Katarina look at me.

“What?” I raise my eyebrows at them.

Mr. Yukimura, from the Japan branch of the agency, raises his hands and stands up. “We already have the decision of sending you to the States in the launching of our new issue. I believe that you won’t take down the offer, Miss Rin.”

“What if I will?” I give them my smirk and sweeps my gaze to them all.

“Then, who will be our representative? Please reconsider your decision, Miss Rin, because this might affect the company’s financial,” Mr. Scott, from the United Kingdom, says.

“Also, you don’t decide without me taking part in it. And I said no. I am out.” I get out of my chair and close the door with a bang. Yasmin follows me behind and catches up with my pace.

“Ash, calm down.”

I look at her. I can’t believe Yasmin only said calm down to me. “Yas, how can I calm down? Tell me. You already know the reason why I don’t want to go back to that place.”

“I understand.” I nod my head at her as she turns right towards the corner to her office.

I walk towards the restaurant in front of the Lolli Mag where Cyrus and I first saw each other after a year. I order their famous meal for one person and I find a seat to sit on. The crew serves me the first dish and after he place the dish in my table, I see a familiar face that I want to bury alive. I want to flee from this place but I know that it would only look like I am being a coward. I let him approach me as I focus my attention on the food in my table.

“Ash, is that you?” Rafael asks, occupying the seat in front of me.

“What are you doing here?” I ask him with that cold voice of mine.

“I am sorry, Ash. Believe me, I am not cheating on you. Believe me this time. Yes, I accept my Lolo’s deal for me to court you but know that all those months we have been together, I make myself fall in love with you but I can’t. I can’t tell you the exact reason why and even if I will fall in love with you, I know that I can’t make you fall in love with me too because someone is occupying your heart…”

I interrupt him. “Raf, I tried my hardest to love you but I can’t. I am sorry. You are right, there is someone who occupies my heart. And I don’t think that we will be a good match even if I make myself fall in love with you. Also, for those cheating issues we have, you know that I distance myself away from men just to respect our relationship but you stick to your old habits of gathering women in your arms.”

“I already said, I am sorry, Ash.” He could pass as an actor with how he looks pitiful in the eyes of others. But for me, I can see it was all just a pretend.

I calm myself in my seat. “Should we go back to this conversation again? I thought we are through this.”

“I can’t let you go, Ash. My grandfather will kill me.” Really? Or maybe your grandfather will kill me?

“no, don’t. Please, Rafael, let me go. You will go back and will still go back to the usual things you do. I can always forgive you but I won’t easily forget,” I say as I keep my gaze to him and not to the audience around us.

“Please hear my side, Ash. It was not me, someone wanted to test us both,” he says and holds my hands. I claim my hands from his hold and continue to eat my meal.

I wipe my mouth with the provided napkin and speak to him slowly, “The damage is already done, Rafael.”

He clings in my feet and all the people inside the restaurant have their attention on us.

“I will not let go if you won’t accept me in your life again, Ash.” He clings tighter in my feet and I look away from him. I see Cyrus walking towards my direction where Rafael is still clinging in me.

“Let go, man.” Cyrus and his authoritative voice make everyone gasps. Even the crew of the restaurant has their attention to us.

“I won’t. Who are you?” Rafael stands up and faces Cyrus.

“I am Ashleigh’s bodyguard. Who are you?” Cyrus asks with his authoritative voice. He stood amid Rafael and me.

“I am her boyfriend.” He meets Cyrus’s gaze and glares at him. Boyfriend? I say, ex-boyfriend.

“The woman doesn’t want you anymore, why bother clinging on her?” The smirk on Cyrus’s face is back and he taunts Rafael to speak.

“Back off, man. This is not your problem. Mind your own.” Rafael looks short compare to Cyrus’s height yet he still has this prideful aura with him.

“It’s not mine but it’s my client’s problem to get rid of you and I am just doing my job to get rid of those people who bring discomfort or harm to my client,” Cyrus says, almost shouting.

Rafael just claps his hands and looks back at me again. “I bet this is the man you wanted to replace me. Am I right, ash? I can see the look you have for him that you can’t give to me. I don’t want you to choose between us because I know that you will always choose him. The man in your past.”

How did he know about the man in my past?

My hand connects to Rafael’s face with a loud slap. How dare he? He looks at me like he can’t believe I did it to him. He raises his hand to slap me too, but I never let him. My hangover soon vanishes and the rage within me lights up.

“How dare you bring that up? If I am going to choose between you and anybody else. I still wouldn’t choose you because even if you claim that you love me, I see no love in there.” I am still holding his hand that wanted to slap me.

“You’ll regret breaking up with me and you,” he pointed at Cyrus, “you will regret this.”

I shake my head and the waiter that has the second dish stands beside my table, still petrified. He puts the food on my table and scurries away. I sit back again and enjoy the food they serve at me.

“I won’t let you ruin my mood. If you don’t want to eat, leave.” My focus is still on my food.

“Is that how you will thank me?” The smirk on his face is now back as if I didn’t push him away earlier.

“What do you want me to do?” I chew my food and cut another piece of steak. He just looks at me as I eat my meal and I feel conscious that he saw how heavy I eat but doesn’t gain any weight. Sometimes, I am quite thankful for my metabolism.

He moves closer to me and whispers something that surprises me.

“Am I the man in your past?”