“You can’t drive like this” “Alex listen to me, you don’t have to do this” she kept on ranting. “I can drive like this, there’s nothing wrong with me,” I said back. “Alex stop the fucking car” “Please” she whispered the last part.

“Starr is alright okay, just trust me please” before I could complete my sentence, we were hit by a trailer, the car somersaulted over and over and over again, I was unconscious for a while, then I regained my consciousness, the car’s glass was shattered everywhere, I was lucky to still be in the car, cause I was wearing a seatbelt, I crawled out of the already damaged car, I could see blood everywhere, with the aid of the lamplights, I was looking for Starr, I was searching everywhere for her, then I turned  to the left side of the car and then I saw her on the ground, filled with blood. I touched her neck to be sure she hadn’t died, but when I touched it, it was cold, it was fucking cold, do you know what that means? I killed her; I killed the only person who cared about me.

“Starr you’re going to be okay,” I said while holding her hands, that we’re already soiled with blood. “Anyone please help me”, “I can’t lose her”, “She’s all I’ve got” I kept on screaming.

I tried calling the ambulance, no one answered. Typical Nigerian ambulance. I had no one to call, I’m always fighting with everybody, except her, she was an exception, we couldn’t even keep a grudge for a whole fucking five minutes. I swallowed my ego and then decided to call my sister.

“Temi I’m scared” was all I could say.

“Where are you,” she asked, where was I, I don’t even know.

“I don’t know Temi, I just need your help, please” whispering the, please

It took her a whole 2hrs before she came, any thought of reviving, Starr was long gone. She screamed when she saw the whole scenery, she kept reassuring me and herself that it was going to be okay. I was scared, scared that I killed the only person I loved, the only person who truly cared about me genuinely.

I kept on having flashbacks sort of like nightmares of that day, I couldn’t stop them, I felt guilty every time it stopped, I kept on remembering the look in her eyes when she had told me to “Stop the fucking car”, I should have listened, I should have known better than to drive off in such a sour mood that day. She was my only control and now she’s gone. How would I ever feel in control anymore? I didn’t even get the chance to say “I love you” to her


Who’s this fool calling me, in the goddamn middle of the night, “Stephan” why would Stephan be calling me, can’t he come to my room. I picked up the call, only to hear a man saying, “We found a body, and we think this phone belongs to the person”. “Hold on a moment” That’s ridiculous, I just saw Stephan like an hour ago, maybe it’s one of those prank calls.

I opened the door, my phone in my left hand, heading towards, Stephan’s room, I opened the door, only to find the room empty, I walked in, checked the balcony, in his room, only to find it. Also empty, Then I found a piece of paper folded, then I opened it to check the contents, then saw “Dear Pearl” then I read it out loud. 

                                                                                       Dear pearl,

 By the time you’re reading this letter, I should probably be dead already, I’m not one to write letters, but hope this makes us for my lack of writing. I love you so much Lil sis, but I can’t do this anymore, I'm sad every day, I can’t take this pain any longer. I don’t want you to cry for me, I Had to do what had to be done. Just be one thing I’m too coward enough to be, Be strong if not for me but yourself.


“St-e – Stephan is dead” This can’t be real. How could he leave I thought it was me and him against the world, “Are you still on the phone”, “Yes” the gruff voice said in reply? “Where is the body”

“By the lagoon outside, Gregory estate”

“I’ll be there in a minute” He cuts the call, at least if he’s dead, let me see him to be sure, I ran as fast as I could, I needed to see him. I needed to know, whether he was truly dead or not. 

I got to the lagoon, I saw the man, who I presumed to have been the one that called me. I looked at Stephan's body, tears found its way, down my cheeks, then I remembered his words. “I don’t want you to cry for me “I cleaned the tears immediately.

 I tried to administer CPR, I kept on pushing his chest with my two hands, kept on pushing, “Please don’t leave me”, “Don’t I’ll be all alone” I kept on ranting while pushing his chest harder and harder. Then the man whom I recognized to be the one who had called me, held my shoulder, then said “My daughter, he’s gone” I knew I couldn’t do this alone, I dialed Andrew’s number immediately, He picked up on the first ring. 

“Andrew, I need your help, the lagoon outside Gregory estate”

It took him 10 mins to get here, immediately I saw a black sports car pull up, near the lagoon, I knew it was him.

“What happened jummy,” He asked, I just burst into tears, then he hugged me, and told me everything was going to be okay. Then I told him “Stephan’s dead, his body’s over there” I pointed towards the direction of where the body was. As if on cue, he went over to see the body, then he started carrying it, into the car, then he signaled for me to help him, we carried him to my house, while in the car, Andrew kept on reassuring me, that everything was going to be okay

It was then and there, I realized, that I’ve lost control of my life. I never felt more alone than how I felt right now, in the whole 17 years of my life. I felt so detached and lonely.