IT ALL BEGAN TO RUSH to my head and began to pulse, the blood. It set the pace for the ache that settled against my skull, one beat after another. I gritted my teeth, clenching and unclenching my fists as my mind went wild.

What are they doing here? Why now? What do they want-- me?

Gritting my teeth, it took every ounce of strength I had to walk away from them. Again. Several knocks pounded against the door. I jumped, keeping my back to the door as they began speaking all at once.

“Open the fucking door, Angelina,” Hunter growled. I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

“Angelina, please at least hear us out,” Mason pleaded.

I paused, waiting for the third to speak, but he never did. I huffed, ignoring that sharp pinch in my chest, and stepped through my bedroom doorway. I glanced at my bed, and my knees suddenly felt weak. They buckled, and I collapsed to the floor with a small crash. I slammed against my black wood bedside table, the sharp pain in my back was dull in comparison to what I felt within my chest.

They boys must have heard the crash, because they started yelling and pounding vigorously on the door, but I tuned them out.

Why me? Why now? Please just leave me alone.

I cradled my knees to my chest, feeling overwhelmed with all the emotions swirling around me, pounding against my skull, aching in my chest. It never stopped, the ache, the pain, the heaviness. It never grew any lighter, let alone ceased to spare me even a moment of peace and quiet. It was always there, reminding me of my weakness, of my failures, and it never failed to make me feel like absolute shit. Everyday, it took everything I had to just get up out of bed, and even more to go workout and go to classes with a fake smile plastered on my face.

I buried my face in between my arms, attempting to smother my tears and hide away from myself. The phone in my jacket pocket started going off, buzzing with vibrations from the notifications I was receiving. Again, I ignored it as I gritted my teeth, attempting to control my breathing. My bedroom lamp flickered to my right, the ceiling fan stuttering its rotation overhead.

I was losing control, I could feel it. The energy slowly slipping from my grasp, no matter how tight I held on, it was never enough. The electricity I felt pulsing through my bloodstream was too strong, even for the Beholder who beheld it.

Me.

I let out a growl of frustration, clenching my fists but I couldn’t focus. The noises outside my dorm room door; the light and fan flickering, and now the bathroom faucet. The water splashing into the sink was evident. I could feel it, the release on the mechanical hold within the pipes. It was a release, to let it all go, but with the hundreds to thousands of people around me, the end result could be lethal. I wouldn’t dare risk other lives simply because I couldn’t get a grip of myself. Even if I was begging for the release, screaming for it, deep within myself.

My grasp was slipping, and just as I was about to lose it all completely from my grasp, a warm blanket of soothing calm and comfort, drifted over me. It was subtle at first, as if testing the waters to see if it was steady enough to dive in. Once it realized I craved it, more than shied away from it, the warmth spread over me and enveloped me in a welcoming embrace.

A relinquishing sigh released from in between my lips, my shoulders sagging as the warmth seeped deep within my pores. That sweaty grasp of no control was slowly dying away, and I felt the energy trickle back within me. It filled me, the wholeness I felt along with the warmth was a safe haven I longed to drown in.

The pressure within my chest slowly eased, and it felt as if I could properly breathe again. I gasped in lungfuls of air, tears of relief trickled down my cheeks. The sleeves of my jacket were damp from my sobs, and I gritted my teeth.

How could I have all this power, and still feel so weak?

“Angelina?” Mason’s voice called from the front door. I blinked away the liquid in my eyes, ignoring him as I slowly rose to a stand.

Steadying myself on the bedside table, I stripped off my jacket, and threw it in my closet. Bile rose in my throat as my heart raced, but I managed to swallow it before the urge to throw it all up became too strong to resist.

“Angelina,” Hunter growled, and I paused, flaring my nose. “Open the fucking door.”

Whenever he spoke, my eyes rolled as if on instinct. This time was no different. “Go away,” I barked, occupying myself with attempting to find an outfit for tonight. Tucking a few strands of my dirty blonde hair behind my ears, I pretended to be interested in a little red dress as I tried to listen for the boys still outside my door.

Silence met my ears, but I waited a few moments more before I let my shoulders relax, and the tension in my body eased in the slightest. A vibration in my closet got me to jump out of my skin. Jerking forward, I began digging around in my jacket pocket, and pulled out my cell phone. Molly had sent me a text message.

Are you almost ready? I’m about to head over there.

Shit.

Glancing up at the corner of my screen, I noticed it two hours had passed since I got back to the apartment. Cursing under my breath, I started going through my closet, skimming over a few dresses, and settling on a deep red bodycon dress. It had a deeper v-neck with spaghetti straps, and the sides along my waist had been cut out. It was a sexier dress, and one I didn’t wear that often, but after tonight, I needed the confident boost.

“Fuck it,” I mumbled to myself, pulling the dress off its hanger, I tossed it behind me and on to my bed. Unlocking my phone, I sent a quick reply message to Molly, and began searching for my black thigh length boots.

Almost ready, I’ll meet you there in 30.

Completely bullshitting my full face of makeup, I quickly jumped into my dress, and boots. Within twenty minutes, I was applying my last layer of mascara, and touching up my crimson red lip color, matching the dress that hugged my curves. The thigh length black boots gave my lengths extra length, looking all kinds of sexy. The angles along my cheekbones and jaw were swept over in a bright winter highlight, my face shimmering under the light each time I tilted my chin.

Despite the few mental breakdowns not even thirty minutes prior, and the dark heavy bags dragging the skin under my eyes, no one would be able to notice anything was off with the makeup. It gave me a little confidence boost, something that was unfortunately rare these days.

As I glanced back into the mirror of my vanity a final time, I could have almost fooled myself. My hair skimmed against my back in small blonde waves, silky strands that shimmered in the light. I looked satisfyingly sexy.

Tipping my chin, I smiled wickedly at myself in the mirror. A promise to myself of a good time tonight. Snatching a black leather jacket from a hanger in my closet, I draped it over my shoulders and made my way out of my dorm room.

Sending Molly a quick text that I was on my way, I slowly trotted down the stairs, relinquishing how it made me feel. The confidence it gave me, as a few passed and their stares followed. I held on to the hand rail until I reached the final step, pushing open the double doors and strutted out into the night.

Stars twinkled overhead, the moon shining light overhead as I made my way down the sidewalk. I took a right turn, toward the dorm where the party would be held in its usual spot. These parties happened often enough, no one really needed directions unless they were a new-comer.

Unsurprisingly, as I drew near the dorms, several huddled bodies were scattered outside. Laughing, teasing, and flirting. The party was just beginning and already, the sexual tension was layered on thick in the area. I could have sliced through it with a knife, but not easily. Everyone had their reasons for coming to these parties, but most were for drunken sexual intentions. As my eyes caught a couple practically swallowing each other, hands roaming along the others’ body, and small moans gasping from their lips, I felt that I couldn’t necessarily blame them.

“Hey, girl,” Molly waltzed up beside me, popping out her hip and a hand placed at the waist. My eyes roamed her fit, pleased with her outfit of choice. Black fishnet leggings, violet bodycon dress with a square neckline, and shiny black combat boots. “What’s the damage?”

My shoulder lifted in a small usual. “The usual, “ I told her, bored already, and eager for a drink. “Everyone itching to get their hands on someone tonight, a few party animals inside, and a couple others visibly drunk inside.” Through the window, a male and female’s eyes were glazed over, their movements and body language sloppy and slow. I swallowed, more than ready to reach their state tonight.

Molly let out an insufferably sigh, a small twitch in the corner of her lips. “Lets go.”

I grinned, waving my hand out in front of me, motioning for her to take the lead. “After you.”

Molly looked down at my boots, slowly raising her eyes to meet my gaze, then licked her lips and gave me a seductive wink as she strutted forward. If anyone could ever make me question my sexuality, it was Molly by a fucking long shot.

Music thrummed through my body, vibrating my bones as we drew near the dorm. The bass alone pulsed through my throat, while the strobe of white light flashed rapidly through the windows. It was a sight to see; bodies grinding against one another, sticky with sweat and while drowning themselves in the music and each other. Intoxicating was a better word for it, and I ached to join, to feel the ecstasy of that numbness, and freedom. My fingers were already twitching for that red solo cup.

That longing wasn’t visible on my face as we entered the building, weaving our way through grinding bodies. My expression was a mask of confidence, and sex appeal. I was everything they wanted, but something they could never have. It drove some of the sex driven males around here insane, and I thrived for it. If they dared ventured closer, dared looking the Viper in the eyes, they never pressed my boundaries. As far as they were concerned, I was the predator and they were my prey. If I wanted them, they’d know it and I’d strike. Until then, I lay and wait.

The power within me thrummed through my veins like a high as the electricity vibrated and pulsed around me. It surged through every outlet in the building, and the energy from the people around me was nearly overwhelming my core. It was another reason I craved such parties and raves; the energy; the electricity; the high. As the energy poured in and out of my pores, it was an ecstasy driven orgasmic thrill I couldn’t get enough of.

The electricity was my high, while the liquor was my pain reliever. Addictive, like a drug a junkie couldn’t pull themselves away from.

A sigh of euphoria escaped my lips as we reached the kitchen. A granite countertop had bottles of liquor lining its edge, while the packs of beer stood behind them. It was an all you can drink buffet. My eyes caught the copper liquid on my far left, eying the red label from across the room. The edge of my lips tilted at the edges, and that’s when Molly took her leave, shoving her way through the throng of students, probably looking for the dude she’s been on and off with for weeks.

Molly and I had our own issues, our own personal shit going on. We never really talked about it much, but we also understood enough from the little tells here and there. For example, in the ring during our Kickboxing matchups, Molly visibly winced whenever I swung too high for her face. Or how she guarded her throat more than anything else, even her head. I assumed it from a past abusive relationship, or family member, but never asked. If she didn’t want to talk about it, I had no right to push where she wasn’t ready.

I knew Molly noticed the twitch in my right eye or the small wince I always failed to hide, whenever she mentioned her younger sisters, the family she had and how much she loved them. How she was fighting for them, to show them that they didn’t have to be victims, but could fight back. Molly often talked about them, her sisters Maya and Leah. Her passion and drive was what led me to believe what I now trust to be Molly’s story. Regardless, it was all inspiring, her love for her family.

I wished I could have said the same, but all that’s left for me to love were memories full of lies, and an unforeseeable future with powers I’ve always had, but never knew existed until five months ago.

Squeezing between sweaty bodies, you keep your back to the counter, edging along the island toward the liquor that burns its way down my throat. Like a flame scorching- kissing its way down my skin. The warmth it brought forth was a seductive haven.

My fingers reached out, grasping the Fireball within my hand and greedily snatching it off the counter. The lid hadn’t been broken yet, and my eyes flared with delight. A pulse of electricity shot through the room, everyone around me jumping and cheering as their drunken high sizzled in a blissful spike of adrenaline.

Oops.

A shoulder found mine as I reached for a red up, and I hissed as I stumbled slightly, then whipped around toward the asshole. A hand reached up, steadying me along my upper arm as we collectively righted ourselves. My eyes rose, taking their time as they soaked up the muscle hugging what seemed to be a navy blue t-shirt under the wild lighting.

A throat cleared, and my gaze snapped up then surprised colored my features as I stared at the guy who I’d bumped into only a few hours prior. My lips twitch along the edge, watching the way his eyes lit up upon recognition of who I was.

I lifted my hand, pointing at his chest as I slowly let the realization etch itself across my features. “Davis, right?”

His lips raised into a small smile. “The one and only,” he replied, bowing his head slightly.

I swallowed down a snort. “Funny seeing you here,” I added, attempting to make conversation. The Fireball felt heavy in my hands the longer I held onto it, and not pouring myself a cup. I was half tempted to just drink straight from the bottle.

His eyebrows furrowed slightly at my comment, but it disappeared rather quickly, as if he didn’t want me to notice his confusion. Davis shrugged his shoulders. “I’m always around here somewhere,” he commented. A statement that felt odd, but I didn’t push him on it. Davis was cute, and if it came down to it, I wouldn’t be surprised if those lips of his ended on mine later tonight.

I let out a soft chuckle. “So I see,” I reply, smiling with my lips closed and eyebrows raised. I let my eyes slowly rake him over again, catching my bottom lip with my teeth. Davis watched it all, but I made no more or said nothing more as I turned my back to him, reaching once more for that red cup. If he was interested, he’d make the next move. If not, he’d walk away. Men were almost too simple.

After a few moments passed and I set the cup on the counter, unscrewing the cap on the fireball, a pinch of disappointment twisted within my stomach as no reply or move came from Davis. I didn’t let the emotion show as I poured my drink, believing he had walked away.

“How long have you been going to school here?”

The liquor nearly shot up my nose from surprise as Davis spoke, his voice was a tad closer than it had been. I quickly swallowed the liquid, relinquishing it as it burned a pathway down my throat. I turned my head, watching Davis as he casually leaned against the counter, watching me with a type of interest I couldn’t place.

“Three months,” I replied. I typically lied when answering these questions, small talk was never my thing and frankly, the answers they wanted were none of their business. I had no idea why I answered Davis honestly. I guess you could call it curiosity.

Davis’ eyebrows rose. “Freshman?”

I tipped my red cup back once more, finishing off the shot then nodding at Davis as I turned to pour another. He watched me intently. I eyed him, and to him, it might have looked seductive, but that wasn’t my intent. Davis’ eyes weren’t glazed over, nor were his movements sloppy or sluggish, so he wasn’t a horny drunk. Yet, the interest in his rich diamond blue eyes matched my own. Intrigued, but unsure; sexually attracted, but hesitant.

As the liquid filled the cup to two shots worth, I noticed his eyes as they traveled up and down my body, as my eyes had just been doing with his. I turned my head to him fully, gripping my cup in one hand, and the open bottle of liquor in the other. Davis didn’t bother to hide it as he checked me out, and I didn’t bother to shy under his heavy gaze. It pulled at me, and as his blue eyes met mine, I could see the same temptation lurking within his own.

Instead of continuing the boring conversation, Davis jerked his chin, motioning to behind him, then held out his hand. “Dance?”

I smirked at him, downed the Fireball and slammed both the bottle and empty cup on the counter, then gracefully placed my hand in his. “Gladly.”

As Davis led me to the throng of bodies, the heart beating in my chest pumped faster, harder, as the exhilaration that tore through me heightened everything else. The high; the liquor as it did its work through my veins; the adrenaline; the thick sexual tension and lust floating through the air.

Davis brought us right to the center, and when it seemed he was going to stop and the awkward situation was about to start, he surprised me. Jerking me forward, he spun me around and pressed my backside to his front, lowering his hands from my arms and sliding them down, slowly wrapping them around my waist as he tucked his chin between my neck and shoulder.

Fuck. Me.

As if on instinct, I moved my hips against him and he followed my movements until we were in sync. His breathing hitched as I pushed my hips back, my head falling on his shoulder as a breathing gasp parts my lips. It didn’t take long until I felt every inch of him along my body. Every. Inch-- and it felt amazing. The lust and adrenaline was a welcoming haze as the alcohol began buzzing my senses, the high intoxicatingly sinful.

Davis and I danced like this for what seemed like hours. Sweat coated our bodies, but the high and lust never left. The bodies around us came and went, but the sexual tension never left. I was gasping it in as I moved with and against Davis. He clutched my hips like a lifeline, and I’d be damned if it wasn’t a turn on.

As our bodies molded together in rhythm, while the high took over my senses, and the liquor dragged away any rational thought, I didn’t notice until it was too late.

I hadn’t noticed the way Davis’ hand slid from my waist, to my thigh, and back again until his fingers fluttered against the hem of my dress. I hadn’t noticed the way those fingers found their way under the cloth and inching along the apex of my thigh, hesitating, waiting, but then continuing their trail along my skin until they reached my center. I hadn’t noticed the way his fingers brushed up against me, but I had noticed the way I felt, the breathy moan that poured itself from my lips upon contact. I hadn’t noticed the way he inched the cloth of my thong to the side, and plunged his fingers inside of me, violating me without my verbal consent. While I moaned and moved against him, I hadn’t realized what he was actually doing.

Until Davis was ripped away from me, and my back was cold from the lack of body heat. My head swirled as I attempted to whip around, looking for where he went, or could have possibly disappeared to so quickly. I stumbled a step, two steps, then my knees buckled. I gasped, my face heading for the floor once again that day, but the impact never came.

Large strong arms enveloped around my waist, gently pulling me upright as warmth coated my body once again. Even through all the sweaty and hot breath surrounding me, the strong scents of cinnamon and ash hung assaulted my senses and alerting every inch of my body.

I knew that smell, those strong arms and gentle caress. Yet, as he hauled me upward, lifting my feet from underneath me and carrying me as if I weighed nothing, I made no move to leave his embrace. My mind was too foggy to make any rational decision, and as my stomach tensed and grumbled, I understood that if I made a move to leave his arms, liquid would leave my stomach through my throat and mouth.

The brush of heat against my body relaxed my muscles, the smell of ash grounding me as the world seemed to spin and tilt on a whole other axis. My head tipped over the side of his arm, my eyes grazing the dance floor as we moved away from it. Squinting, I could have sworn that a body was laid out on the hardwood flooring, the male, it seemed, was knocked out cold. I couldn’t see who it was, nor did I care much as the nausea hit me in a clusterfuck of waves that made my stomach lurch.

I turned my head, tucking myself deeper into Ryder’s arms, then snuggled my head into the crook of his neck and breathed him in. A shuddering breath left my lungs as his scent rooted me to the present. Everything spun, but as a blackness touched the outskirts of my eyes and threatened to take over, I felt it. The violation, the shift in my underwear, and the utter realization of what exactly happened on that dance floor. As well as who exactly had just saved me from my own lack of self control once again.

Ryder.