Nanda was sitting in the library and was working on a poem. She watched Aaryaan sitting opposite to her and reading documents that had come from various nations. They were all in different languages. Aaryaan casually looked at Nanda and she lowered her head and concentrated on her poem again. She was writing in old Salandh to make sure that no one would be able to read it. Nanda wanted to know whether her father had written any letters to her. But she was too afraid to ask. She knew that Aditya would never write to her. So, even expecting anything would only hurt her further. Nanda held back her tears and looked at her writing. The words were all a blur.

Aaryaan: There is nothing from Salandh. These are official letters.

Nanda: I wasn’t thinking about that.

Aaryaan: Maybe, I felt that way. What are you writing?

Nanda: A poem, but I can’t read it to you as it’s a personal one.

Aaryaan: Fine then.

Aaryaan started reading the documents again.

Nanda: May I go now? I am done writing.

Aaryaan: You don’t have to write in old Salandh to hide your heart Nanda. It is visible to me.

Aaryaan smiled. Nanda looked at him with expressionless eyes.

Aaryaan: You may leave whenever you want, Nanda. You have no restrictions here.

Nanda: Thank you, your majesty.

Nanda got up and walked out of the library and Aaryaan watched her with a smile.

Aaryaan’s had only seen pain in his life. He grew up watching a father and his supporters living in pain and hatred. He was fed only that, and he never knew that he would be able to love but Nanda had changed that and every day when he woke up next to her, he felt as though happiness was possible, love was possible.

******

Aditya walked towards the river. The climate was getting colder day by day. It was going to be winter soon. His body felt as though frozen like his heart. He cupped his hands and took water from the river and washed his face. It was an evening and the sun was on its way to its death. Aditya looked at the children playing and men gathering wood for cooking their kill. Aditya was living with Mihara’s people for the last few days.

Qirdhans are the descendants of the ancient powerful sorcerers of Salandh. The ones who used black magic to take over the world. These men and women were the last of Qirdans and they have lost almost all their powers. Mihara still knew how to use sorcery. But her magic was only dark. She used them to heal people, to fight off wild animals and to improve cultivation. According to her, black magic was dead. The huge power that they held was gone and they were reduced to wanderers from the most powerful beings that had ever lived. Mihara had no grudges against anyone but she hated that the power of Shinyun was getting stronger day by day and that made her weaker. Qirdans used to live for more than 300 years and some of the most powerful ones had lived for thousands of years. But the oldest one now is Mihara and she feared that she will die before she had reached a 100 and that all their powers would die with her.

Aditya learned about them, their stories. It all felt unbelievable to him. He heard about the powerful force that was the origin of black magic, which is now bound inside the earth waiting to be released. He helped the people and became a part of them. It made him feel better. But Nanda’s thoughts never left him. He was haunted by her dreams. In all his dreams, she was screaming for help and he was running towards her but before he reached, she was in flames. Aditya woke up every night trembling and crying. He was scared for her, but he got no news from Gautam. That meant she was safe in Hadhara and he felt peace at heart. It didn’t matter if she was with him or not, but she was safe and sound and that was enough for him. And Aditya knew that she was not happy, but she would be soon, he hoped.

*********

Nanda frequently visited the Hadharan temples and orphanages. She interacted with the common people as well as the royalty. All were hostile towards her in the beginning but because of her kind-hearted nature and patience, people started liking her, but Nanda never felt at home. She was always afraid of something unknown and she had no idea what it was. Aaryaan was good to her. In the last two months that she was in Hadhara, he never mistreated her and always showed her kindness. He even took her for courts and asked for her opinions in nation building. Nanda wanted to trust him, but she couldn’t. Whenever she thought that he was a good person, she was reminded of all the Salandhan people whom he had murdered, and it shivered her spines.

Nanda was returning from a temple. It had old Salandhan Gods as the deities. Most of the Salandhan temples were destroyed by Aaryaan but this was an ancient one and he hadn’t touched it yet. Nanda cried in front of her Gods. She couldn’t control her tears. No matter how many days had passed, the pain won’t subdue. It took over her heart and her soul and made her nothing but a stone.

Nihil: Why did you cry, your majesty?

Nanda: I didn’t cry. How did you see? You were not inside the temple.

Nihil: I am your bodyguard, I am supposed to know all about you.

Nanda: It was nothing. I hadn’t been to a Salandhian temple in months. So, I felt emotional.

Nihil and Nanda rode horses side by side. His men followed them.

Nihil: If you are missing your home, why can’t you visit your place.

Nanda: I am afraid to ask the King.

Nihil: I will tell him and when he asks you whether you want to go or not, say that you do. Aaryaan is good at heart. You just need to see the goodness in him.

Nanda: I will try to do so.

Nihil smiled, and Nanda smiled back.

******

Aaryaan was at the crypt. It was the underground space were the Hadharan royal family was buried. But his parents and sisters were not there. He didn’t know where their bodies were. His mother and sisters were raped and murdered by Salandhians and his father was killed in a battle year after that. His father managed to kill the then king Jagan, but the king’s men murdered his father and fed him to the mountain wolves. There was nothing of his family in the crypt, but he had always felt them there as though they were comforting him. But today, when he was standing there, he felt a chill in his spine. As though they were accusing him. He could feel the stares of his family on him. Judging him, his happiness, his peace. Then he saw her again, his sister. He used to see her in his dreams asking him to live on and to never give in. Though he had never seen her in his real life, she came to his mind at times.

She was eleven years old when she died, and he had promised his father to kill every single Salandhian there was to avenge his family’s death but now he had forgiven them and had married the princess whom he swore to murder the same way his mother and sisters were murdered. He felt like his head was going to burst. He shouldn’t have come there. His heart started beating faster. How can he be anything that his sister sisters were not? He is happy, peaceful, alive and his family, gone. He doesn’t deserve any of this, Nanda didn’t deserve to be happy, she had to cry, he had promised to make her cry, but he couldn’t, he will never be able to hurt her. Aaryaan fumed. He was angry with himself for allowing his heart to love, to see happiness. He roared.

Aaryaan: Rudrah.

*******

Nanda was painting a sunset from her memory in Salandh. The sunsets in Salandh were more beautiful than the ones in Hadhara. At least in her memories. Nanda had colors all over her hands, face and her dress. She was mixing more colors when she found Nihil, Rudrah, Sanga and Saran walking towards her. They were not allowed to come inside her chamber without her permission. Still, she didn’t lose cool.

Nanda: What is it? Why are you here? Is the king asking for me.

Suddenly Nanda heard the door of her chamber being closed from outside. She was scared for the first time.

Nanda: Nihil, what is it? Why are you all here? Get out of my chamber before I call for the king.

Nihil had his face down to hide his tears.

Nihil: He ordered us to come here, your majesty.

Nanda: But why Nihil? I am scared. Please leave.

Rudrah: We can’t leave until we do what has been asked of us, your majesty.

Nanda looked at him with fear. She started trembling and she looked for her war knife and remembered that it was taken away from her. Nanda found Rudrah walking towards her.

Nanda: Nihil, help me.

Nihil: I can’t your majesty.

Nanda: Please, please don’t hurt me.

Sanga: It will be over fast, if you don’t fight, your majesty. We are not happy with what we are going to do to you, but our loyalties are to our king and it’s his order.

Nanda: what are you going to do to me?

No one said anything. But Rudrah came forward and grabbed her by her waist. Nanda hit him hard on his face. He didn’t budge. Others except Nihil came forward and grabbed her. Nanda cried aloud. She called for Nihil and Aaryaan. Nihil turned around.

Nihil: I can’t do it, Rudrah. I don’t care even if I am killed for it.

Nihil walked towards the wall and stood there facing it. He held on to his sword and Nanda cried aloud. Saran stripped her clothes and dragged her to the bed. Nanda was too weak to fight, and she had to subdue in the end. She cried loud when they raped her, one after the other, many times. Then she lost her voice, her tears and everything was numb.

When the four of them left the chamber, Nanda was lying on the floor broken and lost. She murmured Aditya’s name. Then she feared that he would hear her murmur and would come for her and would get killed. So, she stopped saying his name. She didn’t want him to know. She cried in silence and pain.

******

Aditya fell from the rock while trying to help a tiger cub. Its mother was dead, and it was all alone. It reminded him of himself. He thought of how he had lost his father and how he was taken to the palace by his father’s friend, king Naren when he was only ten years old. From then, he was treated as royalty even though he was a commoner’s son.

Aditya stood up again and climbed the rock and reached for the cub. He softly caressed it. He was reminded of Nanda again, he was reminded of her in every moment of his life. He had known her for so long that without her he didn’t feel like he was the same person. He had become someone else. An unknown, soulless, loveless being. Aditya didn’t cry. He hasn’t cried in days and it was not because he was over the pain, but it had become a numbness and it didn’t hurt him anymore.

*******

Nanda was being treated by her maids when Aaryaan entered her room. Nanda and the maids shivered in fear. The maids quickly walked out of the room and closed the door. Nanda couldn’t face him. She didn’t want to face him, all she wanted was to die.

Aaryaan: How are you now?

Nanda: Why did you do it?

Aaryaan: That’s what I should have done to you the day we met.

Nanda: I was not even born when the war had happened. I was born a decade after that. Why are you hurting me for something I never did?

Nanda’s voice was choking. She felt as though a hand was still gripping tight over her neck. Her whole body ached and there were wounds all over.

Aaryaan: My family was murdered, and I don’t deserve to be happy with my enemy when their happiness was stolen from them and so do you. You have no right to be treated well in Hadhara. You are a Salandhian and you will know your place.

Nanda: Kill me then and get it over with now.

Aaryaan felt like a dagger was being pierced in to his heart.

Aaryaan: I can’t kill you. I can’t live without you, Nanda. I will become a monster.

Nanda: You are already a monster. You let your men violate your wife. You have let your queen to be mistreated. You have committed sins, Aaryaan. Hadhara will suffer for your sins and I hope that I won’t be there to see it.

Aaryaan went near Nanda and hugged her tight from the side and held here close to him.

Aaryaan: Nothing will happen to Hadhara. And you will be alive by my side till I take my last breath.

Aaryaan forced Nanda to lie down and hugged her tight. Nanda felt suffocated, but she couldn’t escape his hold. She closed her eyes tightly.

Aaryaan: Sleep well, Nanda. It’s not over yet.