The winter when she was twelve years old, this truth hit Valeria with force: she was just a flat skinny girl, and Daniel, though always kind and willing to play videogames with her or ride their bikes around the neighborhood, was moving on to different interests. And maybe she wasn’t able to follow him no matter how hard she tried.

It was difficult to keep up with someone you only saw once a year, but even more if that person was Daniel, who changed passions as others changed shoes. Just a year ago, he was into chemistry and talked a great deal about his club in school, which also made Valeria put a lot of extra effort in her science subjects (one day she’d understand better the things he tried to explain to her). But now, Daniel had just come back from an exchange year in Italy, where he’d lived with a host family, attended school and learned yet another language during the past eight months.

Chemistry was something Daniel wasn’t particularly enthusiastic about anymore, now he told her. He’d joined cooking lessons and wanted her to teach him how to make arepas.

“Your mom knows how to make them better. And your grandma too.” Why was he asking her? He was one weird guy.

“I did ask them. But mom is not good at teaching anything, she nags half of the time.” Then he added with a frown. “And grandpa said I had no business in the kitchen.”

However, if he disagreed or not with his grandfather, he knew better than to argue with him.

“What about Rosa?”

“She’s busy with college.” His older cousin was graduating this year. “Please?”

Daniel would look at her with those clean, sparkling eyes and bat his eyelashes, so although she didn’t really enjoy cooking (she only did it when she had to help her mom), how could she say no to him? 

“Okay.” Valeria sighed in acquiescence. 

He’d gotten taller and fit this year, or had he been like that before, too? She had not noticed it when she was younger, but she was definitely conscious of this now. Her classmates usually talked about this boy or that boy at school, but Valeria had always found them lacking. Daniel was good-looking. Daniel was nice. Daniel was good at everything he put his mind to learning.

Suddenly feeling upset, Valeria fixed her eyes on the table, leaving him to procure the ingredients.

“I think there’s no more cornbread. I’ll go to buy some.”

It was unfair, he was sixteen while the boys at school were just twelve or thirteen. Her own age.

“Vale?” 

“Earth to Vale?”

“Ah?” She skipped a beat when she lifted her gaze to meet the teasing grin in his face. “Qué?”

“What is it that had you so distracted?”

“Nothing. I’m going with you.”

“Or the right question is who? Our little Vale has a crush at school?”

She blushed, knowing he wouldn’t leave it alone. But how could she ever let him find out?

‘I have a crush on someone, but that person only sees me as a child.’

“I don’t.”

***

For the first time, she liked someone. If only she were a couple of years older… Valeria had thoughts like this more times than what she could possibly count. 

Then maybe, just maybe, I could be something more than the little sister Daniel wished he had. (Yes, he said those exact words once, and she had to pretend it did not hurt.)

Four years.

Four years were nothing when they were children, and four years were probably nothing for adults either. She would have liked to remember more of her father to be able to compare, but of course, that might not be the best person to use as an example.

At school, she’d draw hearts and write down their names intertwined in the back of her notebook.

Valeria prided herself to be more mature and smart than other girls in her class, but it was to be crushing on someone who already had a girlfriend. (She wondered if his girlfriend was the same from last year, or a different one.)

Four years, when she was still at school and he was about to attend university, put her object of affection in a place beyond her reach. The whole thought process that made her consider this the biggest obstacle was laughable, really, considering they only saw each other once a year and he lived more than five thousand kilometers away.

‘I’m so silly.’

She was a silly fourteen-year-old girl.

Then Pablo invited her to his birthday party, and Valeria knew he liked her and really wanted her there just by how much he insisted. He’d even go to her house and ask her mother to give her permission.

Perhaps she had to try a bit harder to like someone who was within her reach.

“Vale! Woah, you’re a lot taller every time I come to visit.”

“I’ve always been tall.” Valeria dismissed his words. Yes, she was growing up to be a lady, Daniel was praising her this way, but it didn’t change the way he looked at her. “How is university going?”

“Ah, same as always.” That meant he was bored with his classes. Sometimes it was a problem that nothing managed to keep him interested long enough.

“Rosa, Kike and I are going to eat out tonight at a new restaurant. Do you want to go with us?”

Kike was Rosa’s longtime boyfriend and fiancé, the wedding date was the main topic of conversation between their families recently. Daniel probably didn’t want to be a third wheel either, and it wouldn’t be strange if Rosa invited her. They had always been neighbors, and at fifteen, Valeria was old enough to be included in this kind of outing. Besides, she had always been around these people older than her. (Until recently, it was only her mother, her grandfather and her at home.)

However, the person inviting her was Daniel. She was determined to end her infatuation and going out with another couple, even if it wasn’t a date, wouldn’t help her heart at all.

“Sorry. I’m going to watch movies with my friends. Maybe next time?”

“Ah, of course.” He startled her by patting her head and gifting her a smile. “You should hang out with people your age and not oldies like us. Have fun!”

His words almost made her change her mind.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not old.”

Daniel just laughed and shrugged it off.

“Yeah, true. Anyway, have fun. I’ll see you around tomorrow, I guess.”

Later she’d wished to have gone that night with him instead. Then, would her life be any different? She might have never met the person who’d ruin her life.