Sentiments of the Rain

It was bright that night from all the city lights and from the Christmas concert of their university. The noise was so distant that it feels like they were in a closed room, the sound vibrating through thick walls. Despite that, it was clear – the band, the cheers, and those random vehicles passing by – that if they could focus enough, they could pin point whose talking voice it was. As if they were surrounded by the crowd. Of course that wasn’t true considering thousands of students being there and that they only knew a couple of people. And that they were up high to be on the common grounds. Enjoying the view, he took a beer from the cooler. Moments after, the countdown begun.

“I wish next year would be the same.”

It was cold that day considering the dead air. That rain from earlier left a weird kind of cold to the atmosphere.

They watch the fireworks from the open field from his dorm building roof deck. The bright night turned even brighter that if feels like morning, as the fireworks painted the ever black sky. Looking up, there were grey clouds everywhere. It seems that it will rain sometime after.

“Yeah.”

They smiled at each other then went back to being silent again, watching the display of the pyrotechnic musical. It was a good semester. Everything was alright and as it should though he knew that that wasn’t the case. Soon, things will change and he has to bear with it, embrace it, and conquer it. He has fear of change as he doesn’t know how things will turn out. But he manages when he could as he was and he is always prepared for the worst to come. It was always the case.

But that night, the silent atmosphere with the echoes of the music and the noise, the fancy light of the sky, it brings a kind of calmness in a faraway chaos. This night made him forget tomorrow and the days to come. Tonight, it was just them; enjoy the fleeting seconds of the party they are watching.

There was nothing that night except for their silence with the distant music, the cold brought by the previous rain from that afternoon, the fireworks, and them.

There were them.

-

Their story wasn’t that complicated although it started of very unusual, especially for him. Dwight met Elise in her college when he had to take a summer class for failing to attend his English class. Although he passed all the examinations, met the deadlines for homework and projects, he didn’t attend the class. Aside from that, oral communication was graded, which he was always absent to be graded.

Dwight decided not to attend those classes because he thinks that taking it up considering he has – and majority of the class – a full knowledge of it seems a waste of his time so instead, he would go back to his dorm and do something from his to do list which would either be finishing something like a book or a game. But mostly it was to catch some naps.

“How can you even fail English I?” Jim asked him.

They were walking along side Car Park, taking their time as they slow students down from getting to their own buildings and hoping to meet their professor just in time so that they could make a case for their failing grades. Or whether have their professor announced that they would be lowering the passing for this subject or that subject. Or to know their marks. Either those three would be something they’re doing today hoping they weren’t too late for the encoding.

“You know why. You don’t have to ask,” he answered with a sour face.

“But still,” Michael interjected, “It just made you look stupid.”

They decided to sit on a stone hedge just to catch up on what they’re talking about.

“It does,” Dwight laugh when he imagines telling someone that he failed English I, “But at least I was able to save my time.”

“How is spending your summer for class instead for vacation saves your time?” Jim asked.

“And money,” Michael added, “Time is money,” he whispered.

He didn’t really care that he has to take summer classes. It just means that he could stay at his dorm, away from his family until the next long holiday. In his dorm, he was his own king, the room surrounded by the tiny four walls was his kingdom that he rules with an iron fist, and not that he has subjects or anything unless you count the dishes to do their own cleaning. Every moment he was there, he enjoyed it. He was able to read more books than ever. He has his meal on the time he scheduled. He was able to go to the gym and do some light cardio every afternoon and do a light jog around the campus every morning and evening.

This sense of control made him feel that he was an adult already even if he was still years away.

“It’s just an hour a day,” he answered, “or two, at max.”

“Still, a lot that you could do with that time,” Michael answered as they continued walking.

It was even baffling from his class why he was the only one who failed that subject although it was a no brainer for most of them – even to his professor – when it was mostly due to his absences.

“I see that your essays are unique than the rest of the class,” his professor said as he was reading a piece of paper in front of him, “I don’t know if you are a quick thinker so I really can’t judge you on your oral communication and performance but the absences alone is a ground for your failure.”

The faculty for the minor subject was the right kind of cold. It was better than rooms on the third floor where one would freeze because the air conditioner was set to its lowest setting. The faculty room was anything but ordinary as it was pretty much a corporate office. Everyone got their own cubicle with a desk , a filling cabinet, and two chairs for their visitor, if there are any.

“Couldn’t I do some extra credits?” he asked, “I could do a sample speech right here right now,” he offered. Looking around, there weren’t many professors as he thought there would be. Some of them maybe on some classroom meeting a certain section just to show them their grades.

“No need Mr. Vargas, besides, I ran your essays on Google and sees no matching results so I know that your works are original. And I do like the resources you indicated along in your footnotes.”

Of all the writing he had done, he hate essays. As much as he likes writing, he hates writing his opinion. He has to search about if and form an opinion based on the facts he learned – if this is a topic he has no idea about. And if it is a topic that he is particularly well verse, he has to read supporting articles. He promised do to this process just to be a better version of himself. He just doesn’t like to read news or any technical article as he found them irrelevant to him.

“But still, I failed?” he asked in dismay. He doesn’t want to argue anymore and just wanted to go back to his dorm and take a sleep. But he thought that maybe arguing for his grade would save him from taking a summer class. It all depends on his eagerness today which he has none.

“Yes,” his professor then changed the page of what his reading, still curious what he was reading.

“But if you really like my works and the fact I passed them and the examination, isn’t that enough to reconsider my grade?”

“You’re really driving a hard bargain for this,” his professor chuckled, “but arguing with me won’t do anything. Besides today’s the encoding. Even if I could consider you, it’s not fair for those who took the time to attend my class. May I ask, why didn’t you come to my class anyway?”

This took him off-guard as he wasn’t prepared to be grilled. To be in an argument to change his grade, he was but to be interviewed and be in a one way conversation, he didn’t like that.

There was something about Mr. Dimaano that fascinates him. He seems a well-versed guy with a strict attitude but a lax and calming presence. A mentor, he told himself, like a mentor should be. Just. Oriented. Caring. But that wasn’t why he came here, he reminded himself.

“Well, it’s just that,” he decided to think before continuing but there really isn’t much to say. He doesn’t have time to quip a good alibi so he just decided to tell the truth. “No offense but I just didn’t feel like going to a subject that I already know much of.”

“But you did attend Filipino II, Chemistry 102, Algebra 201, and all minor subjects that you know,” Mr. Dimaano stopped for a while and looked at a list then back to his paper on his hand, “you consider that already know much of. Only my class was single handedly left out.”

“Well,” was all he could reply to that statement.

“It’s because it’s an extra hour for your break right before your next class.”

That was pretty much it, he told himself.

“Then I guess it is summer class then,” he surrendered, relaxing his body on the chair as he slouch and sink on it.

“Oh no,” Mr. Dimaano interjected, “We don’t have summer class for minor subjects here in the Science College,” he said with a smile that told him that it was pretty much over and he has to take it next year with the freshmen.

“In the Arts and Letters College?” he asked.

“They do but I don’t think there are any failing students for English I that would require them to open up English I for the summer.”

“If there is?”

“Then I would recommend you to a professor and you could enlist yourself.”

That was where Mr. Dimaano made an error. Sure enough, there was a petition for English I subject for summer in the Arts and Letters College and the faculty seems to be opening it up but first need to have a list of students who are going to attend it.

He told his professor about the situation and have himself enlisted without recommendation and the class was opened for that summer.

“Man, that was one of a hassle,” Michael said, remembering Dwight’s story on how he tried to get out of a five point zero mark.

“It is,” he agreed, “the other ugly thing is that it will reflect on my record. And in my job applications, and my kids.”

“Slow there grandpa,” Jim kid, “But yeah. It will be an ugly sight.”

They stopped walking in the intersection of the Accounting College, the clinic, and the Plaza Mayor just to look around and see where most students are heading. That was when they heard Michael’s stomach begging to be fed.

“So, where do you want to eat?” Jim asked.

-

There wasn’t much people at Snacketeers Bistro considering that it was the deliberation day for most colleges, for the rest, it was encoding day. But that made it all even better, they have place all to themselves.

Between the savory aroma of the meat being cooked and the indie rock music coming from the stereo, this was the perfect place to rest for a while before going home.

“So, what are you planning for your summer?” Dwight asked out of curiosity as he sips from his iced tea.

“I don’t know,” Jim answered, “how about you?” he asked Dwight back which he gave a dirty looked but gave a weak laugh after. “I don’t know actually,” he continued, “perhaps going to read some books and stay in my room for most of the time.”

“Make sure to clean your sheet every week,” Dwight teased back, “You Mike?”

“I can’t tell cause I might jinx it.”

“Come on, share us,” Jim insisted.

“Well,” hesitant, he gave in, “We are planning to have a week long stay at Baler. Stay of the grid.”

“That’s sound fun,” Jim commented as he get back to his food.

“So Dee,” Michael faced Dwight as he controls his laughter, “How about you?”

“How about what?”

“You know, what you are doing for summer?”

“Haha,” he answered with a weak smile, “Make fun of me all you want but hey, I could meet my girlfriend there.”

“Yeah sure,” Jim interjected, “As if you’re not socially awkward.”

“Point taken,” Dwight gave Jim a wide grin.

That was there last day for their first year. The next time they will be seeing each other, Michael would be in a different class with them as sections are now based on their majors. Dwight and Jim already planned on what to do for the pre-sectioning day so that when they will be enlisting themselves for a class, they would have the same schedule all throughout.

-

It was bright that day. As summer should be. There was nothing but the yellow light blinding everyone who walks on an open field. Lucky for him, he still got an hour before class starts and he could sit and wait on a stone gazebo outside the building and read a book.

It was a fine day today and he should have been taking a nap, he told himself irritated by the fact that he has to attend this summer class. But it was entirely his fault, he argued to himself.

Yet he didn’t bargain enough for his grade, he argued back. He was stuck in a loop of what ifs in his thoughts that he wasn’t able to understand what he was reading that he went back to beginning paragraph of that page.

“Intense?” someone asked. It sounded like a girl. He didn’t look up as he continues reading his book. “I see that you’re a snob.”

He was shocked that she was talking to him. For all he know that there was someone else sitting inside the gazebo that he didn’t notice and that she was talking to that person. When he looked up, she saw that she was already sitting looking far away.

“Sorry,” he lowered his book, “I thought you were talking to somebody else.”

And that was enough to get her attention back.

“So, what’s happening?” she asked as he she gave a quick nod as if pointing on the book with her head.

“Sorry, what?” he asked confused to what she meant.

“The book. Your face was all crammed up so I though you’re reading something intense.”

“Oh,” he said as he tried to ease himself going back to reading the book just to shut the conversation, “Yeah, no,” he replied, “It was just that I am thinking of something else and lose my focus.”

“Oh.”

What followed them was silence until the girl spoke first. He wasn’t sure what it is about but as much as he could be polite, he will.

“Why are you reading outside when you could wait inside?” she asked still looking away at a faraway distance. He looked at where she was staring only to see that she was looking into a blank space. Further that was Rosarium. She was right though, he could be reading somewhere comfortable but he went against it because he knows that when it approaches the time for class to start, people would start appearing and the room would be filled with chattering. But he didn’t say to her.

“I hate the cold,” which was true. Too much of it would give him a heart burn, too little, he would sweat a lot. Besides, it was a nice day to enjoy the sun with the cool strong wind watching people go to their errands or attend their class, “Besides, it’s a nice day today. Might as well enjoy it.”

But she didn’t listen to him. She was spaced out to her own thoughts, whatever they maybe. “You want to go inside?” she asked, this time, looking at him.

Confused and unsure, he nodded.

-

Inside, there was not much happening. There were few students walking by. Some, casually hanging out on the common lobby. Considering how bright it was outside, the inside looks like an old mansion from the 1900s.

The hallways seems old but elegant in a way. The wood colored tones reflected on the stone pillars and walls gave it something wise and mature. He had been in this building a couple of times but never seems to appreciate it all on its own. Maybe because every time he was here, it was crowded with students, he told himself.

“So,” he broke the tension between them, “why do you have a summer class?” he assumed.

“I failed English I,” was all she said as they slowly walk up the stairs. He gave a weak laugh to her answer. “What so funny?”

“I also failed English I.” She laughed too.

When they went inside the room, they found that it was empty still considering the have fifteen minutes left before the class starts. He took a seat at the back of the classroom with his feet resting on a different chair while she went to seat in front, looking at updates on her phone.

He continued reading his book.

-

It has been half an hour pass ten and still no one has showed up when he decided to close the book and talk to the only girl in that class, the only girl between the two of them. She was still on her phone, scrolling through Facebook while listening to something.

“Hey,” he said as he takes a seat close to her. Immediately, she took her headphone off.

“Hey, what?” she said, seems uninterested to what he was about to say.

“Well,” he began, “It seems that there is no class today so I’ll leave.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” she answered him with a smile.

With that, he went back to seat and packs his book. He was thinking that this day was a waste but at least he was able to read for a good few minutes. When he gets home, he’s thinking of getting a few minutes of rest before going to a local gym before playing the Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne on an emulator on his computer.

“Wait up,” he heard her as he reaches out for the door. It was weird for him to wait but there was this instinct that flowed through him and told him to hold the door for her.

Again, they were together alone silent. He wasn’t sure if he or she would be the one to break the silence again. It was her.

“It’s weird that we are in the same class,” she told him, with her eyes forward.

“Is it?” he said with a weak laughed.

“And the fact that I haven’t introduced myself,” she said with a smile.

And that’s when they talked. He learned that her name was Elise Catalina. She failed English I because she wasn’t able to submit two major write up that was considered their project. The first one was a compilation of different articles for each major section in a newspaper. The second was a one chapter story consisting of a minimum of thirty three thousand words.

He asked him why it was so different from Science’s English I and she told him because they are in different programs. And he told her his situation.

They talked for a while until they were at the P. Noval gate.

There was nothing that day except for a few private and public cars passing by the street and some students attending summer class. It was an unusual sight to find the campus empty, and the scenery of it, was calming. He hated how it was crowded during ordinary school days but when he’s walking around the campus during Sundays of those school days, the place felt a little different. The same thing goes when everyone is on their class and they have ended theirs a little early.

He was about to say goodbye when she asked him if he was busy today.

“No, not at all,” he asked with his eyes squinting from the bright sun that afternoon. He was sweating a lot, wishing he could go home and take a bath but that doesn’t seem to be happening any soon.”

“Would you like to grab lunch?” she asked. She was squinting too from the bright sun that afternoon, and they did in fact could use a break from the scorching heat of the sun. Besides, it has been hours since he ate something.

“Yeah, do you have some place in mind?”

“Not really.”

“Well, there isn’t much anything open this summer. Except for that burger joint, Yvan Navy.”

“I could go for a burger. Do they have loaded meaty nachos?”

“They do.”

For a moment, he thought that the place would be close. Luckily, it wasn’t. After sitting, someone from the burger joint approaches them with a menu and they immediately order. They talk for a while, mostly, him listening to her.

She told about what it was like being in Communication and Media Studies. She heard from her seniors that mostly, they would be applying in GMA or ABS-CBN. To them, it was their pedestal. But some of them are striving to be working on a government channel. There are these production firms that help with the production for major networks. Some firm do their own content. What she really likes is to have her own web content since everything now was digital.

For him, he mostly said how unsure he is for taking Applied Mathematics as there aren’t really any work outside academic stand point. What corporate would need that, she told her. Although, he wished to do have his Master’s and Doctorate in UP and work as a researcher in the campus.

After eating, they were about to go their separate ways when again, and he have lost count how many times Elise initiated talking (or inviting him), she asked if he has some place to go this day. That was when he offered her to walk her to his dorm.

“Oh no,” she corrected him, “I don’t have a dorm. I live in Bulacan.”

That took him off.

“That seems a hassle,” he said, “So, where to do you usually take the bus?”

“In Cubao.”

He didn’t want to take his offer back by going with her, but that was when he thought she was staying in a dorm but he didn’t want to go all the way to Cubao for someone he just meet. But again, he didn’t want to be a douche so he just have to suck it up.

“Well then, let’s get going,” he said as he started walking towards España.

“Wait what,” she said. He stopped for a while to see why but what he heard next made him embarrassed, “We just met. You expect me to go with someone I just knew?”

He doesn’t know what to say. He could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks and making it redder than cherries. He doesn’t know what to do except that he feels it’s better to just walk away, then run after. But his legs won’t work and that he would be seeing her tomorrow. But when he heard her laugh, his flight instinct loosened.

“You should see yourself. I’m just kidding. Let’s go,” she said as she grabbed his hand.

-

She does live in Bulacan but she’s staying on a dorm in España. When they got to her dorm, there was someone else sitting on the bedside while on her laptop. She didn’t hear them as he seems to be focused on the screen with her headphones on her, probably watching a movie or a series. But when she saw them, she immediately took them off.

“Hey Ely,” her roommate greeted her and gave him a look.

“Hey Gwen,” she said, “Dwight by the way.” She introduced him for her roommate. With that he reaches his hand out for a shake hand but Gwen just looked at her and laughs. Embarrassed, he took his hands back.

Elise took Dwight to her side of the room and made him sit on his desk chair. He spins it around looking around the room. He didn’t sign for it. All he planned was to bring her back to her dorm and get home but when she asked him if he wanted to come up and see her room, he stuttered saying ‘maybe next time’ and what came out was a yes.

“Hey, I’m going to take a bath,” Elise said as she grab some clothes from her cabinet, “I’ll be gone in a jiff.” With that, she was gone and he has nothing to do but to look around the room awkwardly with her roommate watching him being socially inept or that he could be rude and just read his book. It’s best maybe, he told himself, to talk to her and socialize. He needed that as a skill.

So he stood up and stretches a little without being too mobile. He took a quick glance at Gwen when he noticed that she had her headphones around the neck mindlessly strolling on her laptop. That was a smart move of her, being attentive with the sound she hears from every sudden move. For all she knows, he could be a klepto or a predator, he said to himself pretending that she’s Gwen’s defensive thoughts. I mean, he told himself, who would bring someone you just met home. It’s not like this is a date.

Looking around, he saw books everywhere. There was the Mortal Instrument, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, A Song of Fire and Ice, and many bestselling and well recognize books. But what stood out was a Philip Pullman book. It was the last one from His Dark Material’s trilogy, The Amber Spyglass. Looking around, he didn’t see the first two.

He looked at Gwen who was looking at him suspiciously. He gave her a tight smile and walk back towards a seat next to her.

“So, whose books are those?” he asked looking back at the books laying around then gazed elsewhere just not to make it awkward.

“Which ones?” she asked uninterested.

“Those,” he pointed to what seems to be the fantasy section of the bookshelf.

“Stacy’s.” And he thought it was their other roommate who seems to be on her summer vacation. Lucky for her, bad for them.

“The Amber Spyglass?”

“Oh,” she suddenly stopped doing herself, “That’s one mine.”

“Want a spoiler?” he kidded.

“Please no.”

“Haven’t actually read the third book,” then they exchanged a weak laugh.

“Then did you know that Lyra was in the…”

“Okay, okay. Joke’s over,” he declares defeat, “So what are you watching?”

Then she showed her laptop and showed him a paused video of La Planete Sauvege. It was a French animated film from the 1973. It was old and unheard but it was one of those cult classic animated film together with The Adventures of Prince Achmed, which he hasn’t finished, and Pauvre Pierrot, which he hasn’t seen.

La Planete Sauvege, or Fantastic Planet, was a story about a how an Om, the humans, liberated themselves from the hands of the Draag, the blue humanoid aliens. Liberated not because they’re a prisoner or some kind but because they were kept as pets.

He remembered watching it on cable from a channel he couldn’t remember. The animation scared him and he thought that it was a horror film, still he watched through it. It wasn’t until he was in college when he remembered it and wanted to re-watch. The only thing he remembered from it though was the basic plot of human having collars and being dragged by large blue humanoid aliens.

He search all over the internet asking various forums until he just search animated movies and started from the earliest full length animated movies.

What more interesting was looking for the book Oms en serie, which was where La Planete Sauvege was based on. They didn’t release an English translated book until 2010.

“Terr died,” he said with a straight face.

“Wait! Really! No!” she was shocked someone even knew this film.

“Again, kidding,” he said with a smile. She then sighed and calmed down, “I didn’t know someone knows Fantastic Planet.”

“Neither do I. It was a shocked when I heard you say Terr.”

That was when Elise gets out the bathroom already wearing her pambahay – her house clothes. He stood up and greeted her so that he could tell her that he needs to get home until he couldn’t.

“So, what do you want to do?” she asked her. To be truthful, he just wanted to get home and just take a bath and sleep but that is going never. Maybe not even tomorrow. Gwen was suspicious of him of being a crook but maybe it was them all along. A bunch of untrained medical students who butcher people and sell their organs on the black market.

Being silly, he just went on with being a yes man.

“You want to watch a movie?” he asked, both hands in his pocket, fidgeting.

“I got Shutter Island. Been forever to see it,” she said getting her laptop ready.

“Sure.”

They watched it together on her bed sharing headphones. In the middle of the movie, he ordered pizza and when it came, they resumed watching. It He focused himself on the movie, and when it was over, they talked for a little while and he headed to his dorm.

-

Walking back to his place seems the most normal thing there is yet for some reason it feels strange. Without Michael and Jim to talk to, he felt alone. And to be in a room with two strangers, he felt more than the normal dosage of being alone. Yet Elise was there for her own reason she was there. She talked to him for reasons she felt that she should. She joined him for the day for he said yes to every passive request she asked.

This day, he feels alienated. Everything that happened seems to be an abnormality looking at one’s ordinary life. But there are days more absurd for some than this.

When he gets home, he told himself, he would take a bath, get dressed and comfy, lie on the bed listening to Toe, and sleep the night away. If he feels lazy to go to class tomorrow, he’ll stay there the whole day.

Despite that, this night was already etched to his memories. Despite the weirdness, it was a perfect night. There were fewer people than usual. The air isn’t that cold nor hot. The city lights weren’t as blinding as they were. He doesn’t feel dizzy or disoriented walking along the streets unlike when it’s the usual school days.

Tonight might end well, he told himself.