UGLY HEARTS

CHAPTER IV

TRENT'S POINT OF VIEW

MARCO kissed me in a way I've never been kissed before. He claimed and devoured my lips as if his life depended on it. I couldn't think about anything else aside from him and what he was doing to me. When our lips parted, we were both breathing raggedly but I still couldn't get enough of him. I felt addicted to him that I wanted to be kissed by him again.

He smirked as if reading my thoughts.

"Did you like it?" he teasingly asked.

"Y-yes..." I should've lied but I couldn't.

"I thought so." He nodded and caressed my face. "We can do this again if you want to."

I pulled myself back to reality and reminded myself that this was wrong. I shouldn't have let him kiss me and I shouldn't have kissed him back. This was a wrong move on my part and I should do something to make it right.

"N-no." I stepped away from him. I was still dizzy caused by too much alcohol intake but I did my best to clear my mind. "L-let's just forget about what happened. I have to go."

I was about to get out the rest room but he stopped him. He held my hand tightly and gave me a dark stare. I felt like drowning just by meeting his gaze. There were thousands of emotions in his eyes that I didn't recognize. He was a big mystery that I couldn't solve.

I couldn't help but ask myself: why did he kiss me? I thought he's straight? Did he like me? Are we feeling the same attraction?

"Are you really going to forget what happened?"

"Yes. What we did was wrong, okay? We're just both drunk."

"You can't fool yourself and pretend like you're not into me. I'm pretty sure I'm not just assuming here. You like me, don't you?"

"Don't be so full of yourself. Yes, you're good-looking, you're hot, but I'm not into you. You're probably used to women and gays going crazy over you but I'm not like them."

"You don't have to deny it, you know? Because we feel the same way. I'm attracted to you."

I didn't know what to say. I just looked at him, trying to assess if he was telling the truth or not. I found it hard to believe that he was really attracted to me. I have never imagined that he was into same sex because he was so manly and I didn't see any signs of being gay in him.

"I know what you're thinking. You can't believe that I'm into gays, right? Yeah, I'm not usually into gays like you. In fact, I haven't kissed a gay in my entire life until tonight. But I believe that when you're attracted to someone, regardless of sex, you should do something about it. That's why I kissed you."

"We barely know each other."

"Hey, I just want to set the records straight. I'm not looking for a serious or romantic relationship. That kind of shit is not my thing. Yeah, I'm attracted to you, meaning, I wanna kiss you and fuck you and do all kinds of naughty things with you. I'm not up for some serious shits."

Could he be any more vulgar? I appreciate his honesty but his choice of words were just too much. He didn't even try to filter his words to make it sound a bit nice.

"I-I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. You only have to kiss me and let me fuck you senseless." He gave me a lopsided grin which made him look even sexier than he already was. Damn it.

"Sorry but I'm not that kind of person. Call me boring or whatever, but I take relationships seriously."

"C'mon, you gotta chill, loosen up and let yourself have some fun. Do something foolish."

"And by foolish you mean hooking up with you?"

"Yeah, you could say that."

"Sorry, but the answer is still no. I don't think I'm up for that."

"How can you say that if you haven't tried it yet?"

"I don't need to try something to know that I'm not up for it. Seriously, I am flattered that you like me the same way that I like you. Yes, there's an attraction between us but we don't really have to do anything about it. I'm not looking for a relationship and you're also not looking for serious shits, so nothing can really happen between us."

"Nope, that's where you're wrong. There can be something if you try to open your mind into new things you haven't tried before."

"Sorry but you can't change my mind."

I went out of the rest room and didn't let him stop me again. I went back to the couch and told them that I have to go home because my cousin was looking for me. It was a lie, of course. But I had to do it to get away from Marco. He seriously scared the hell out of me. I've been through hell and feeling an intense attraction for someone could really scare me.

"Are you sure you can go home by yourself?" Mariela worriedly asked. "You're already drunk."

"No, I can manage. I already booked a Grab Car anyway."

"Okay. But can I have your number first?" She handed me her phone while I gave her a questioning look. "What?"

"What do you need my number for?"

"Duh. To communicate with you, of course."

I honestly didn't expect her to see me after tonight. I really thought this night-out was a one-time thing. I genuinely like Mariela as a friend because I thought she's really cool and fun to be with. But being close to her would mean being close to Marco as well. I didn't want another interaction with him, so I don't think continuing my friendship with Mariela was a good idea.

"Okay," I replied and typed in my phone number because I didn't want to be rude. She has been nothing but nice to me the entire night. But if she invites me for another night-out, I would surely come up with some lame-ass excuses just to avoid bumping into Marco again.

"Thanks. I'll catch up with you soon, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you guys for tonight," I said to everyone. They smiled at me and waved me goodbye. They're really nice people and I wouldn't mind being friends with them. Too bad I have to stay away from one of them.

I quickly went out of the club and booked a car so I could go home and get away from that place as soon as possible. I didn't want to risk seeing him again. He was so good with words that he almost convinced me earlier. I was so close to giving in to his proposition. Luckily, I was able to control myself from his seductions. It was tough, though.

While waiting for the car that I booked, I found a bench nearby so I decided to sit there. My head was really acting like a total bitch. It was spinning and it took a lot of effort for me not to vomit. I regretted all the decisions I made that night. I went to Cebu to start a new life but I think I just made my life harder and more complicated.

"Way to go, Trent. Keep being smart and you'll surely get a fresh start in life," I sarcastically said to myself.