THE 21ST ARTS FESTIVAL

I felt the sun's rays warmed my face. It was a pleasantly warm afternoon, despite the winter.

The windows were rolled down, I smelled wet soil and hints of cow dungs and manures. My feet, wearing my new cowgirl boots, was up on the dashboard of dad's pick-up truck, I was sitting like a boss. And I just set the music from the radio on one song going on loop. I was the boss, indeed.

Mother Mercy demanded that I keep the seat belt on, but I decided to be coy, pulling the seat belt out then putting it back on, on and off again, and again, and again. I looked at dad who was driving, he was smiling at my humor, that perfect peaceful smile. Mother Mercy barked at his husband at once, so dad looked at me and made an expression that we should be afraid of mom. I put the seat belt back on and sat properly.

It was a long drive, I don't know how many hours we have been on the road, it felt like I aged a year older. Well, I did. It was my ninth birthday the day before. We went to my grandparent's ranch house in Nashville, I celebrated my birthday there.

I would see my grandparents, Emily and Juancho III or Lolo J, once or twice a year, either one of their birthdays or both. There was also one time that we came on Thanksgiving, then another was my dad's brother, Uncle Enrico's wedding. But this time, I had my birthday on their lakefront house for the first time, despite of course the winter; they had three houses within their ranch land the size bigger than Nashville itself, according to my bully cousin Max.

At one point, I thought it was supposed to be a happy birthday, everybody looked happy. But, I saw my mom once, upset with dad, on a fairly hidden side of the house, crying, I didn't know why. When they returned, they both looked happy again. Mom rarely talked to Emily, in fact, almost everyone hardly talked to mom. She was always on one side, just watching. I never liked going to my grandparents house. It always felt weird.

I also thought I was supposed to be entertained on my own birthday. But it was me who became the entertainment. I wasn't cool about it, but dad takes pride whenever someone see me perform. I played the grand piano on Emily's oppulent living room, then later, outside with the lake as my background, I played the violin. I played Beethoven's moonlight sonata on piano and spring sonata for violin solo. Then, when all the yellow lanterns began to light up the night, I also sang, with my guitar, a country song about a dad and a daughter, that I composed.

"You are going to be a star, Mecky. You have the Nashville soul in you. Concerts, records, lots of cool hats. You are going to be very rich, and your dad here don't have to count sheeps anymore, he's getting very old, you know," uncle Forth teased, he was always comical. He's dad's eldest brother and pretty much the most cowboy guy I've ever met. I like uncle Forth, because he was always nice to mom.

I was blowing my bubble toy that I got in one of the hundreds of gifts for my birthday, and I was sitting on my daddy's lap. I didn't care about what uncle Forth said, but then dad kissed me on my temple, "Nah. She's never gonna leave me! She'll always be daddy's little girl."

I wake up. It's 6:50am now. I hiss under my teeth. Please god, he's not awake yet.

I stand up and then I open the white-yellow curtains of my window. It's a bright morning sunshine outside, the sun is peeking under the clouds. Beside my window is the airconditioning remote control hooked on the wall, I turn off the aircon, open the window, and I feel the pleasantly warm heat of the morning. I go to the toilet, do my thing, brush my teeth - do I brush my hair too? - Hands will do. Then I come down to the kitchen, I smell food. Oh no!

But I see mom's back. She is cooking. Thank God!

Despite her age, Mother Mercy's figure still has a youthful form, like she's never bore two children in her body. She had me when she was 25, so she's 42 now. Her face looks the same for me as it ever was, except for her occassional sad eyes; I don't want to think about that now. I don't know, maybe it's just me who thinks 40 is old. I don't want my mom to get old.

"There you are, sleepy head! It's already afternoon! Our mother had to wake up to cook me breakfast. Since you think I'm a mess in the kitchen," RJ chastises, he came out of our small food storage room, now holding a box of all-purpose cream, must be for his fish. Mom looks back at us, she laughs as she shakes her head with humor.

I ignore RJ. "Morning Ma."

It is not strange that mom wakes up first and cooks breakfast. While, it's often me in the kitchen, when mom had an easier day at work, she would cook, especially dinners.

"Late rehearsals last night, anak? or you went to the pub? I'm sorry, I haven't checked my phone yet, if you left a message." She takes the all-purpose cream from RJ who is being such a good assistant chef.

"P.E, late rehearsals, then I went to the pub after. I was so tired."

Today is the last Saturday night of the 21st Arts Festival, which means, tonight is the finale concert. And I am performing.

At the oddest of surprises, I won second place at our reduced version of The Voice held at the main concert stage last Monday. A winner of the TV's Philippine version was one of the judges, it was nerve-wracking. I swear I must have cursed Cece to hell, multiple times. I didn't say it in words, of course, and I love her again after I won.

The blind audition took place on Saturday, Sunday was a day with the coaches, there were four of them and we were reduced to two proteges for each coaches, then Monday was the finals. As expected, Marvie Magdangal came out the champion and she very well deserved so. I think, we just became friends too.

While it was an extraordinary experience for me, the world didn't make sense, poor Lanie girl came out with the lowest score on the finals. She sang Chaka Khan's Through The Fire and did one note higher than the original for the blind audition, then she did Whitney's One Moment In Time for the finals and she almost, or probably did, ate the microphone. And then there I was, singing the overused Wrecking Ball of Miley Cyrus covering Christina Grimmie's version for the blind audition, did some familiar country songs for the final selections, and a song that probably nobody in the audience has heard of for the finals, and I had the second highest score. When will justice prevail?

Lanie may not be pitch-perfect, but she hit the best notes befitting for a singing contest prodigal. I thought, maybe, being second is decidedly marked in my existence - Mecky is our second most beloved - will in be in my tombstone.

I nibble on the still-hot bacon on my plate. Mom is pouring me coffee, then fresh pineapple juice for RJ who is concentrating on his rewinds of Dragonball Z from youtube in his phone. I am just glad he never finds deep interest with digital or online games like most kids his age. He plays some, but gets bored in awhile. He prefers to be active; I used to play with him a lot when he was younger, and we were always outside the house, maybe that's why being active stays with him.

"You still worked at the pub last night? Your uncle is going to hear a lot from me."

Mom's warning was too kind to be worrisome. She sits beside RJ and made a plate for herself. We have the same taste for food.

"No, I didn't. I just took my pay, I missed to get it last week. Then I stayed awhile, passing traffic," I answer.

I did work, but I wasn't gonna tell her that. She doesn't know I've been mixing alcohol for about a year now. She thinks, I'm still working in the kitchen. RJ knows, of course, but if he's not telling otherwise, then he's not lying, he defends.

Glad, mom never asks much about my job at the pub anyway. She trust me that way. And RJ, despite I vehemently opposed him of learning to lie, he does own a three-headed dragon to protect me at all cost. RJ has his own way of dealing with life's reality but still staying a good, honest and high-principled little adult that he thinks he is.

"So are you ready for tonight?" Mom asks as she takes a sip of her coffee. I see her wedding ring still on her finger. My heart aches a little.

"Cece forced me that I should be ready. She reminds me almost every hour that my performance will be for dad."

I look at my phone with another text of words of wisdom from Cece. RJ looks up at me when I mentioned dad, then he sweetens his face and presses a smile before he puts a big head of brocolli into his mouth.

While Marvie will become the superstar tonight, I will be her starlet. While it was supposed to be just the champion to make several performances for the finale, our charismatic President Blue insisted to add some spots in the program for the second and third placer. The third placer was Loki Lajondajo, a tall, a bit lanky guy who talks, walks, sings, and looks like he was born from the 1800s. I know him because I see him sometimes tagging along with Balong who should have never been born at all.

I wasn't particularly thrilled that I needed to do a performance again, worst, since there'll be a massive audience watching this time. But Blue begged me, so I was fine about it - ok, he didn't beg - it was more like, I said yes before he even asked.

How could I say no? I was with him the best half of the morning yesterday, and then the rest of the night. I don't know, he was particularly extra-charming to me lately, like he wants something - me? - I don't know. I don't really want to assume. Yeah right!

"Your performance last Monday was really something. It was.. deep." Blue said while we were picking fried calamari from one of the food booths at the main concert ground yesterday. I just finished one turn of rehearsal for my first song. I am supposed to sing three for the finale.

I looked at him, his hair was endearingly unkempt. There was a gentleman sense to his haircut, but one you'd also expect to be so hot and tempting when he wakes up in the morning. It looked really soft too, and it smelled so good as well.

I pressed a smile as I put the vinegar sauce to my cup of calamari, "Was it? Hmm.. It's a special song," I replied shyly.

"I know. I mean, we all felt it. Marvie was insanely talented, I never knew. But you're performance, it was the most remarkable that night. Nobody else has heard that song, yet, everyone in the backstage teared up, heck, even the judges did too. I did, a little." He shied away on his last words.

I pressed a smile and sigh under my nose, solemn, "I last sang it on my 9th birthday. Composed it for my dad. I did it in a different arrangement before, like it was a song for he was alive. This time, just, I don't know. I changed it. This time, the song felt different too."

We both sat on one of the ground's benches; we were facing the stage; Loki was rehearsing; people were everywhere; the food booths made the concert ground look festive. And yes, nobody in the audience last Monday has definitely have heard before, my originally composed song that made me second place.

After a few more mellow topics of conversation, like Blue and I were having really good sweet and personal moments, my throat ran dry. We didn't buy drinks for the fried calamari. And of course, my self-imposed fiancee was gentleman enough to buy some for me. When he returned, he was holding two, sweating, coke in cans.

But I could not prevent myself from looking at his, rather, full crotch - was he hard? - oh, I'm not so sure. But I do know in distinct details, that whatever was hidden in his crotch looks something similar to what he was holding in his hands. It was the thickest thing I've ever seen.

It's past 3pm now. I start to prepare for tonight.

"Wow, anak. You are still your daddy's little girl." Mom breathes under her nose, her smile is reminiscent, her eyes are warm and compassionate.

While RJ looks like the exact reincarnation of dad, he also have the same sense in his eyes like mom's, it's gentle and kind. Whenever they look at me, I instantly feel how much they love me.

Mom and I are both looking at myself in the mirror. I tuck the intended loose hair on my front to the side of my ear. I've let mom braid my hair like dad used to. It's going to be my look for tonight.

"Am I really? -- still, daddy's little girl?" I ask, reminiscent too.

"You have your father's eyes. And you'll always be his little girl, anak.. Always."

I don't know about that. After everything I've been through? And all that I am now? I wonder if dad knows. And what would he think of me?

I lost my virginity when I turned sixteen. And I don't even have a car yet, contrary to what talked about when I was nine years old.

I don't regret losing it tho, I lost it to someone I loved; but I'm not gonna go there now. The one thing I wish that dad will never find out is my shameful dirty naughty secret. I have a collection of 1000 photos of naked men, and I captured all of them. It's even catalogued.

It started when I was thirteen, it's been over a year since I started coming in to Mang Kanor's Auto Repair Shop being a pesky little girl that time. The four boys named after the country where their parents 'made' them, and also their uncle Roger, were only a few months in as new mechanics to the shop.

They were first to become friendly with me, mostly because I know better than them, Mang Kanor didn't realise yet about my talent, so the five boys used me to impress him. I didn't mind.

But I was just the little girl that wore the same jumper every weekend when I go to the shop. The boys already liked to get half-naked at that time, or I guess, since they were born. But I never see them anything more than kuyas, they were like my personally selected older brothers. The dragon in me was still asleep.

Until one boring Saturday, Mang Kanor wasn't around, so I was more relaxed to roam around freely. I've already done my rounds of expert tips and personal assessments on the 'subjects' that needed repairs that time, so I went a little adventurous and I checked out the garage bay 4,5,6 and 7 that were still being constructed at that time.

Then I entered the newly built staff shower and I snooped around. I realised it was already functional, I accidently wet myself a bit when I turned one of the shower knobs. The lockers had no locks yet and I saw personal things inside, like towels, changing clothes and stuff, most of them I recognised as owned by my five kuyas.

It was taken away couple of months ago, but there used to be an old-looking cabinet beside the wide wall mirror, it was out of place in the room, so I snooped in further. It was unlocked and I recognized Mang Kanor's clean jumper hanged inside it.

Shortly thereafter, I heared voices coming in. I panicked. I decided to hide in Mang Kanor's cabinet, but when I closed the door, it was a clear visible glass. I hastily checked it outside, I recalled it was a mirror, and yes it was a mirror with some stains in it, but I couldn't see the inside of the cabinet. In my rising panic, I hid inside the cabinet again, closed the door and pushed the key locking mechanism from inside, feeling dread and terror because I can see clearly everything outside. It was a two-way glass, clear glass from inside, but a mirror from outside.

First, kuya Denmark came in, his hair was handsomely messy. He slipped his one hand inside his crotch and scratched whatever was itchy, or I wasn't really sure if he was scratching at all; he had, even until this day, this mannerism that he touches, sometimes stroke and lightly rub, the outside of his crotch like every five minutes. It's a strange but erotic kind of mannerism, it's a little awkward too especially for strangers or the shop's clients.

Then, immediately, he was followed by his three brothers coming into the staff shower as well, laughing probably about their private jokes; they were teasingly patting each other's groin area, they do this a lot even to this day.

They didn't see me, but I see them, clear as day. I thought it was so fun, like magic and I was invisible.

There was still a main door for the staff shower at this point, they took it out recently so that the air could come in better. Then, one by one, they took off their clothes, all of it. I was aghast. I felt suffocated inside the cabinet, but I knew - I knew - I shouldn't make a sound.

It was the first time I've ever seen naked men, or a naked person for that matter. I've seen some in movies, but not fully naked. Their muscles weren't as defined yet as it is now, but even then their bodies were all toned. Truthfully, they were just as exotically erotically hot as they are now. The sizes of their private parts are enormously humungous to my then innocent eyes. I was so scared of it.

They walked around, going about their individual routines, and their dicks were just bouncing up and down, left and right, without care in the world. They were all in similar thickness - impressively thick - but kuya Denmark has the longest.

But they all looked like little elephant faces to me. Shortly later, I thought it was funny, I took my phone out, and through its camera I snap photos of them naked; from dry, to shower wet, to moisty naked; full body, back shots, ass close ups, and a lot of zoom-ins on their dangling, meaty lengths.

Since the door of the cabinet I was hiding was a full-sized mirror, it was their preferred mirror to look themselves at and the elephant faces were only inches away from my mesmerised eyes. I was trembling but also curiously thrilled.

Those photos are now my classic priced collections - the first shots. Kuya Roger, the boy next door type, also came into the shower that day, and - Dear Almighty - I thought his thing was probably even bigger than my forearms. A little exaggeration, but still, he has, by far, and in truth, the biggest dick I have ever seen, and in my current collection. Its size is still indisfutable up to this day, it is too fat, too long, to be even real.

The following weekends, I had the same adventure, just watching and taking pictures with the best angles, like I'm a professional photographer. On many occassions, I've seen them play with themselves when they are alone - the first time was with kuya Denmark and it was the scariest horror film I've watched. But later, I realised it wasn't horrifying at all. It used to be funny to me, especially when they climax, but they must definitely be hot to some extent. Now, I've graduated from the five of them. I've memorised their body, their sizes and every inch.

About two years after my discovery of the Little Beasts with Elephant Faces, I began exploring at school as well. The gym showers became my secret adventureland, or more like Jurassic Park; some of the boys are either pityful or disgusting.

It was an adventure, nonetheless, and I learned that I have a magical ability to be invisible - not really magic - but that is how I knew about my bethroted Blue's coke in can.

He comes closest to kuya Roger's, in terms of overall size. But Blue would be the thickest of all, and I have the most collections of him - soft, hard, juicy and milky. One reason I know why demi-god Blue is very human? - it's because he is very, very horny. I've watched him masturbates more than a hundred times in the gym shower. But that is not entirely why he is going to be my future husband, there is so much more to him than a coke in can.

A year later after our high school's Jurassic Park was opened, my private part was opened too by none other than, Bench Panelo. I could never compare him, however, to Blue or kuya Roger. He's on a different league, he knew his colossal value, and he very much knew how to use it.

"Wow. It seems only yesterday that you were a little girl in my Math class."

A little surprised, I glance up to sir Albert who's standing by the dividing metal rails between the audience area and the backstage. I have all-access to all area of the backstage, thanks to my self-intended fiancee, but not everyone have the same access, even if you're as prominent as sir Albert.

We've gotten quite comfortable with each other now since last night. He was at the pub, not to get drunk but just chill, he uncharacteristically said.

I'm sitting at a side bench, then I stand up and walk towards him. I smile and laugh under my nose, "Yesterday, I was in your.. well, Comp. Sci. and Comp. Math. But, really.. was I ever a little girl?" I respond, disbelieving.

He laughs, his dimples comes out, my heart warms. Last night, we talked about a lot of random things, we also went a little personal at some point. He was funny last night, and I was, I don't know, very in to him. Honestly, I was quite confused; one look, he was my teacher, then another look, he was this enigmatic country guy that walked into a bar and swept me off my feet. Yes, he was rather charming too last night.

Sir Albert's expression turns serious, but still, it's visible in his face that he's relaxed and humored, "After that first night at the pub, I don't think I'd ever see you the same way again. Last night, you were different again. And tonight is.. another surprise," he says as scans my outfit or my body?

Aside from my mermaid braid that my mom did for me, she also helped me dress up for tonight. I'm a wearing a white and yellow off-shoulder with leaves-embroidered-lace bell sleeves, it's body fit on the top half and flowy on the bottom that ends dressy with sheer laced tails falling on my backside. It is also 80% backless. Then, it's matched with a teale clean cut classic shorts. I'm also wearing a flower printed high heel laced up ankle boots.

When I got here at the venue, Beks quickly visited to check on me and he was pretty impressed with my personal selections. Then he added some boho bracelet accessories and yellow daffodil dangling earings that completed my look.

I shake my head and press a contradicting smile at sir Albert's last words, "Showbusiness -- The x-factor is essential."

"But, you look -- "

"Different?" I interject him coyly.

He smiles wide. He has amazing teeth too, I notice, not typical of a coffee addict, "I was gonna say, breathtaking. But yes, different. I don't see Mecky -- at least, not the Mecky that I used to know."

"I could say the same for you. I don't think, I've ever seen you wear flannel."

He is wearing a wine red flannel shirt with the sleeves folded up half his arms, and the front is three buttons down. His shirt is relaxedly tucked in his dark jeans matched with a dark green leather belt. He's also wearing dark green and brown leather chukkas that completed his look of an honest country guy. His tousled hair, again, makes him look eased. And just now, I notice, he works out too. Some of Teacher Kim's fairy dusts must have dusted off to sir Albert because he's in a pretty good shape, I bet he's well toned inside his shirt.

"No. It's, uh, my comfy clothes. I'm driving off tonight to our farm in the province. I'd like to be comfortable."

"T-shirts and shorts are comfortable. That's! - a statement!" I tease casually.

He chuckles, "T-shirts and shorts, then they might not let me get in here without a student ID - or - they ask for my parents or guardian." We both giggle wryly.

"I don't think so, you've got beard. That's not very kid-ish or student-ish," I jest.

I feel strange that we are this casual, he's still my teacher after all. We don't talk like this before. I was always the student, and he was the teacher.

But last night was something. Our conversation was easy, open, and like we've known each other for so long. And there was another thing, the look in his eyes, like he was impressed at me or just very interested. It didn't come out as creepy at all.

On several occassions, our hands would brush off against each other when I gave him his beer orders; on the third and fourth time, I checked if it was intentional, but it didn't seem so. There was a kind of spark when our hands contact, I am not really sure.

"So, where's your best friend? Why are you being alone right now?"

"Cece is.. with my mom and RJ. They're checking out the food booths, you know, before the crowd thickens. The performer's waiting tent is on the other side of the stage, this area is for the organizers only. I just.. I wanted to be alone for a moment."

He curves his lips down accepting my explanation, "So.. no.. no boyfriend? --- to, calm you down?"

I'm taken aback. But his expression seems so casual, "No. And I'm calm now."

"Really?" he reacts as if he understood what I said differently.

There is a smile in his face that isn't exactly funny, or humored, but more like, he's enthused. In an instant, I lost my train of thoughts, I don't know how to react. I want to contradict what he is thinking but for some strange reason, I can't get myself to. What I mean was I'm calmer now since I just battled in a singing competition. But he seems to have understood it differently, like I'm calm because he's here?

"Yeah," I answer short and forced my attention to something else.

"What time will you be on stage?" he asks.

It's 5:30pm now. In an hour the concert will begin. The final concert will run from 6:30pm to 10:30pm, it has different parts and highlights but the main star will have a full concert performance for half an hour starting at 8pm.

I am again, the second performer on the first set of the concert. I'll be up at 6:45pm. The sky is still bright, according to RJ's weather app, the sun will set at 7:14pm tonight, it's a late sunset. Cece was ecstatic because it is likely that the sky's background when I get on stage will be the sunset, the perfect setting. She has a thing about skies. Then, I have two other performances, one after Marvie's performance, and another one before before the grand finale fireworks.

"Mecky." Blue walks in from behind the stage. He's wearing a v-neck light blue t-shirt and a navy blue chinos without a belt so it was hanging quite low and his bulge is showing. He looks pretty hot too, I mean pretty and hot. Honestly, even if he wears a trash bag, he'd still look expensive.

"Oh, hi, sir Albert," Blue greets the guy in flannel, he receives a nod in response.

"Are you ready, Mecky?" Blue asks.

I almost roll my eyes; he looks at me like I've already proposed to him. He's being too close, intimate even. Seriously? Blue? You are so -- !

"Pretty much," I answer short.

"I can't wait to see you up there, Mecky," sir Albert says. That weird, awed expression in his face is still there. I can't help but my heart flutters. Oh, Albert!

"Who's the singer of your first song again? I'd like to download all her songs. She's your favorite, right?" Blue asks.

The staffs around are a bit frantic now that the show is about to start, yet, here's Blue, casually standing too close with me, casually looking over the audience then me, like I'm casually special.

"Kelsea Ballerini, right? You said so last night," sir Albert interjects.

I see Blue's face hinted of curiosity, but then he turns his attention back at me. I am surprised, however, that sir Albert remembered a random detail that likely passed through our conversation just once.

While I try to check for my mom or RJ or Cece over the audience, I glance at sir Albert and he is scanning Blue's frame, his expression is a bit hard. Like, is he jealous?

Don't be first to assume. Don't be first to assume.

"Do you need water?" sir Albert asks, out of the blue.

I do feel a little thirsty now tho, he might have noticed my dry slurp. But before I could answer, Blue interjects, "I'll get you water. We have sponsored water bottles backstage."

I smile wryly, "Err. yea. Please? Thanks."

If it is a different day, I would have said no, I'll get it myself. But strangely, I feel like a girl right now. Two guys are giving off very male energy, and its confusing me. But it's also confusingly good.

"I thought no boyfriend?"

I turn my head to sir Albert, surprised. Blue has left to get me water.

I frown, "Huh? Blue? He's not my boyfriend. He's not my anything. We just became friends recently, or at least I think we're friends now."

"A friend? Huh."

"Why?"

"He's awfully too close."

"So? I don't mind."

This time we are sharing meaningful smiles that seemingly have the same meaning. I don't understand this at all. His posture, his voice and his expression is a totally different person than sir Albert; right now, he's that guy I just met at the pub, twice, and we've hit it off on both occassions.

He doesn't respond so I ask another, "Why? Do you mind?" I ask.

Then I think, it was too forward of me, bold even. But Dragon Mecky is so present right now.

He turns his head a little and looks over the crowd, but he leaves his truthful expression towards me and it says - yes, I mind that he's being too close.

I'm not assuming, it's obvious he has a thing. Damn it! Why does it feel ok with me? I've only met this strange man twice.

Blue enters again, "Here's water, Mecky -- wait, let me open this for you."

Albert scratches his head a little then brushes his curly ends with his fingers. His expression is clear that he is not pleased that Blue is here.

"Thanks, Blue," I smile at Blue who looks at me too intimate to fathom.

"Anything for you, beautiful," he replies loosely.

I'm a bit perplexed, he just threw the remark so casually and turns his attention at his phone like he hasn't said anything cheesy. I thought I'm just assuming but Albert also noticed the remark, his face hardens, his brows are adorably annoyed.

"What's the song again, Mecky? Your first song?" Blue asks while his attention is still on his phone.

"I think I fell in love today," I mumble nonchalant.

Both guy's heads quickly turn towards me, they both look discombobulated.

I don't know about you two. But it's just a song title for me.