Chapter 5

CLAIRE

I GOT BACK TO THE APARTMENT a few minutes past noon, Rebecca had gone to her place to sort something, promising she'd be back tomorrow morning before heading to work. I shrugged out of my black dress, walked into the kitchen to fix myself a bite, wearing my black bra and thong. I came back into the living room going through my phone. 20 missed calls from my Mum, Nick, Mitchy, and Damon. Nick's call popped on.

"Claire, I've been so worried, how are you?"

I just wimped out.

"I guess that personal stuff is still eating you up and it'd be selfish of me to take you out in the midst of it all. We can reschedule if you want although i don't mind coming over to your place to check up on you instead."

"Thank you, Nick, we'll work on the reschedule. I appreciate you wanting to come over but I'd rather be alone for a while, to set things straight for myself"

"I respect that, are you coming in on Monday?"

I had read Damon's text saying i take Monday off too and I'm beginning to think i might actually use it.

"I don't know yet, if not ill just resume on Tuesday.

He updated me on what's been happening at the agency and after a few minutes, we were done and i hung up.

A thought lingered on my mind. Life takes everything from me, what if i decide to get married or have kids, would i be punished again with the loss of my loved ones? The thought makes me scared and confused. Or was i the cursed one, blaming Life to make me feel better?

I turned off the Tv, feeling too distant to commit my attention to the screen.

I strolled into the kitchen to get a bottle of red wine and glass, and then into the living room. What i had thought would take me just two glass ended up exhausting the entire bottle. I didn't stop there, i took another bottle from the kitchen, slightly tripping on my way back to the couch in the living room.

Halfway down the second bottle, i knew alcohol had begun its work. Getting drunk was the only way i can get past today and begin anew tomorrow.

I saw Katherine walk out from my room heading towards me. She flashed a smile.

" Mommy!"

Hearing her say those words made my tummy tickle. My daughter came back to me.

"My baby," i said while touching her face and staring into her eyes that's identical to mine.

"I love you, mommy"

"I love you too Katty, always and forever" i hugged her so tight it choked her.

"Sorry, i just wanted to..." I heard the doorbell ring, returning my gaze back to my front, Katherine was no longer there. I went to my room to grab a robe, i was so drunk and wobbly. I looked at my living room again to see if my daughter would show up, but she didn't. I took a deep breath before opening the door.

Damon...

Why in God's name is he here again? He needs to get the memo that I'm not interested in him seeing me or we talking but i was too drunk to argue and fight. So i let him in.

"What do you want Damon?" I relax on the couch directly facing where Damon's sitting.

"And don't bullshit me with that *I'm checking up on you *, i know you want to talk about last time and like i told you before..." He cut me off

"I like you, Claire"

My jaw dropped and i laughed hysterically.

"Do you have cameras rolling? Is this some kind of joke you want to record so you can watch later and mock me?" I threw my hands in the air, still laughing - alcohol side effect on me-.

He stood up from where he was sitting to my face.

"Stop being so God damn stubborn Claire, i expected that to have changed about you"

"You're serious?" I searched for any hint of unseriousness in his eyes but found none. And in seconds, i didn't see Damon in front of me, i saw Nathan stan.

"Baby, I've missed you," i said pulling who i assumed to be Nathan into a breathtaking kiss.

"Why did you leave me like that?" I asked briefly before locking his lips with mine, giving him less chance to talk.

"You're drunk Claire," Damon said

"And you are going to fuck me" i shrugged out of my silk robe, releasing it on the marble floor. I pulled Nathan into another mind-blowing, hot and devouring kiss. It felt like i have been kissed starved like i wouldn't live to witness the next minute. I kissed him like it's the last time i will.

"Carry me into my bedroom" i seductively whispered into his ear, savoring the scent from his neck. God, he smells so good.

I instantly felt my legs in the air, tangled around Nathan's waist. He took me into my bedroom. Seeing Fletcher's face gave me quite a fret, so i shoved him under a pillow. I unclip my bra before Nathan was top of me, pulling my hair in such a way that made me lose my sanity coupled with the fact that I'm drunk. I was sexually hungry for Nathan and drunk in alcohol, two amazing factors. He left my swollen mouth for my nipples. Sucking one very hard while roughly pinching the other. I made my legs wrap around his tighter, feeling his erection in between my laps. I was aching for him, i wanted him inside of me, i wanted to explode like fireworks. I arch my back ready for his thrust, his cock hitting me extremely hard like a sledgehammer, i place my palm on his chest as we moved rhythmically, feeling the sheen of sweat on his skin. I place my other arm on his ass, motivating him to thrust faster, harder and deeper.

"I love you baby" I looked at Nathan with so much love and pain. Is he going to abandon me again after fucking me? Was he here to sex and go?

My orgasm was close, so close, i clenched onto Nathan's biceps, his hands raising my waist a bit up so that his last thrust can earn us both a cum.  I sank into the bed, panting like I'd run a marathon and just like that i blacked out.

*"MUMMY!" KATHERINE CALLED OUT

we were playing hide and seek, i kept mute not wanting my beautiful daughter finding me. I covered my mouth to conceal my giggle but she heard anyway and found me. I lifted her off the floor, into kisses all over her face. I set her back on the ground only to see her vomiting blood, i cried for help but there was no one to hear me*

I HELD ON TO THE SHEETS IN FEAR, my dreams taking it out on me in reality.

"Don't take my baby, please" i was panting, finding it difficult to breathe until...

"Claire wake up, it's just a dream!"

I immediately opened my eyes into the arms of the person who called out my name. I was ten seconds gone before realizing i was completely naked and  Damon was in my bed, half-naked too.

"Damon?" I was confused, trying to remember what happened

"Did we?" I asked trying so hard to remember what happened.

"Claire Darling, you are mine" he cupped my face and then kissed me passionately.

I took off from my bed angrily, picking my robe up from the floor and putting it, trying not to raise my voice cause it was just twelve in the morning.

"Fuck!" I ran my fingers through my hair

"I like you claire, i can't explain all of this in details for now but believe me, i want you to be my woman"

"You're engaged for fuck's sake" i paced

" I'll call it off tomorrow, you have no idea how many times I'd prayed to meet you again, and now that i finally have, I'm not letting you go ever again".

He stood up to join me standing on the floor.

"Why'd you fuck me fully aware that i was drunk?

" you are irresistible my love, since the last time, i have been aching for you in a way I'd never felt about you before, i thought being your friend would make your decision positively easy"

"What decision?"

He took small bold steps towards me and i moved backward until my back hit a wall.

"To be mine, i like you Claire and i need you to like me in that manner back," he said with his remarkable deep voice.

I let myself drown in his sparkling eyes, all these while i had thought our previous sexual act left our friendship in jeopardy but it didn't. But like? I didn't see that coming and I'm not ready to be committed to something that would either hurt me or taken from me. I'd gone through so much in the last couple of years and losing my child to death sorta gave me a stamped impression that i am bad luck.

"That can't happen, Damon, besides you have Megan, you are getting married!" I made sure i emphasized the last part.

"I'm breaking up with her, it's you i want, it's you I've always yearned for, since high school, i wanted to be the man who would love you with his heart, protect you with his body and nurture what we have and what better way than working hard and becoming wealthy, i am all these because of you, this is not about the great sex we had- but i kinda liked seeing you take charge- truth is you're mine and we are not debating this, I'll prove to you that you can hand me your heart" he placed a kiss on my forehead...

"The answer is no if you had just said we'd have sex, I might oblige but dating each other? Makes me cringe" reacting to our close proximity, i held on to the wall, fighting my urge to kiss him and take him again.

"Then let us start off with sex," he said and i choked on my laugh

"Whatever it takes Claire, I'll make you see it from my direction, make you feel the same way you made me feel for over a decade and a half" he rubbed his palm on my bare arm. Goosebumps swept through my body, he noticed.

"Wow Claire, obviously you are attracted to me, not the way i want yet but seeing the way you are reacting to my touch makes me want to take you again"

"Have you always been so blunt?" I tried remembering if there was a point he'd been so straight forward. He was, but not sexually forward.

It's a turn-on getting to know that about my ol' pal, our catchphrase made me laugh out loud.

"And i knew you to be stubborn, not uptight, glad to see you find me amusing"

He reached for my waist, grabbing my body against his solid rock sexy body. He buried his face in my hair.

"God i looked so hard for you, you didn't leave anything, not a trace, i couldn't reach your parents, Even the private investigators I'd hired found nothing. Did you guys run away or something? Cause no one had information about you"

"You hired a PI?"

"Whatever it takes" he whispered

"We had to leave..." I withheld complete information. Telling him my family ran away from an obsessive freak who successfully raped me and repeatedly did at 19 was top confidential. It was the major factor that made me sexually insatiable.

"You're holding back information, i get it, you'll find me worthy of sharing your secrets with me, Mrs. Ice"

"Mrs. Ice? You have got to be kidding me" i bite my lower lip

"You are my Mrs, I've known that for a very long time"

"I find that hard to believe seeing the fact that you got engaged to the last person I'd ever think of"

"Megan and i met in LA, part of me was still searching for you then, but one thing led to another.."

"You mean you had sex" i corrected

"I was settling for less when i was dating her and when she proposed.."

My eyes lit up in shock.

"She proposed? The almighty Megan proposed that's new"

"She's changed, not the old Megan anymore, she's caring, nice, smart and all things good, i guess those were the attributes that made me fall at that time for her, but she's not who i want to be with"

I arch a brow

"There can only be one Claire Rutherford, and that's you Mrs. Ice" he kissed me again, catching me off guard.  The only reason i kissed him back was because my sex was wet for him. How can i convince him i am not his Mrs. Ice?

"Hey Stanford just curious, where'd you get the ice from?" If he had used his real name, i may have been able to figure he was my boss and the sexiest man alive Rebecca had been talking about for months.

"Your ocean blue eyes" he leaned in to continue the kiss but i restrain him with a finger.

"Excuse me?"

"Your ocean blue eyes are like ice, so cold and loving"

I don't know why his revelation made me kiss him harder or maybe my hormones kicked in.

I SUBCONCIOUSLY STRETCH MY ARM to find Damon, but he wasn't beside me. *did he run away like Nathan stan?*

I waved the thought off my chest while sitting up, remembering we'd had sex before and he didn't run. Rebecca barged into my room, giving me little time to put on my robe.

"Jesus Claire, you are a whore" i laughed while taking a sit, i adjusted to accommodate her beside me.

"I am not"

"Look at you all naked and gloomy, and his naked chest in the kitchen getting you breakfast"

"He's in the kitchen?" I felt relieved

"You just got laid with the sexiest man alive for the second time, I'm jealous" she folded her arms beneath her tits.

"Three times i think" i whispered

"What?!" She was yelling again. "Does he have friends?"

"I don't know yet"

"Put in a good word for me when you do"

Damon's presence interrupted our conversation.

"I didn't know your friend..." Rebecca cut him off

"Best friend" she coughed out

"I didn't know your best friend would be joining us, i would have prepared enough" he curved his lips into a smile.

I collected a tray of bread and scrambled eggs with juice, one of my favorite combo. He remembered?! As if reading my mind, he gave me the *oh yes i remember* look.

I caught Rebecca staring at Damon until he was out of earshot and sight.

"Rebecca?"

"He's very hot and i can't help it"

We laughed and then i remembered Katherine.

"I had a dream about Katherine, am i a bad mother? I had sex on the day of my daughter's funeral"

"Katherine would love you to move on, she would want you to love and be happy, seeing you wreck yourself because of her will only make her sad."

"A picture of Katherine seeing me fucking makes me feel worse"

"Live, love, sex, bestie" she pulled me into a tight side embrace with her right arm.

"I'm pretty sure that line is laugh genius"

"That's my line, anyway, the originator of that motto should have added sex"

"Then it'd be rated 18"

"I don't care"

We fully hugged each other.

"Hey champ" i entered the living room after taking a shower and dressed in an oversized T-shirt that revealed my thick thighs. I left my damp hair down.

"You look like a snack"

"Yo! I'm leaving before you both make my eyes and ears cum" she air-kissed me goodbye and then made her exit.

"Don't you have someplace to be today?"

"I just want to be with you today"

"7 AM on a Monday morning?" I take a seat beside him on the wide couch.

"Whatever it takes Mrs. Ice"

"Don't call me that" i waved my palm.

"Missing a day won't send my stocks plummeting, i pay some people a lot to keep that from happening. I'm thankful i did, i can fully use it to the advantage of committing my time to win your heart as your Man and Husband" he kissed me on the cheek.

"I work too remember?" I shrugged

"For me, and i say you take the day off and just spend it with me. You can go bitch mode tomorrow"

"I don't have a bitch mode"

"Mrs. Ice, trust me you do. And i am falling in love with you all over again" he pulled me into a deep kiss. His hand on my nape and mine on his chest. For me, it was just the sex thing, fucking my friend to the moon and back. I shudder to think of the possibility that we might be something else because I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN.