"Bye girls!" I wave the two of them goodbye while watching them enter the school gate. Vicky wasn’t in the mood today. I bet she's jealous because of Jackal's presence. He offered us a ride so who Am I to reject, right? And I'm not in the mood to drive.

"Seems like Vicky has a crush on you, huh?" Jackal said which I ignored. I'm not in the place to answer that question and Vicky didn’t say anything about that yet, so who Am I to speak for her, right?

"Anyways, let's go?" he asks and I nodded my head in response. He was about to open the door for me but I already did that myself. "I can manage" I smiled at him before I enter his car. After we buckled up our seat belts were good to go.

Fast Forward: [Pancake house- Around 8:00 AM]

"I will take tripled layers Pancake with maple syrup and butter on top and for drinks? Medium size Iced tea" I said while scanning the menu. "And mine would be double layered chocolate waffle and a cup of iced coffee" Jackal said after closing the menu. The waitress finished writing our orders and flashes me a smile. "Your orders will be up in 10 minutes" she said and smiled to me again before leaving. Jackal has a huge smirk on his face while shaking his head in disbelief. "What? You like her?" I curiously asks since I saw him stared at her for a couple of seconds. "Me? She isn't my type" he truthfully said while pressing his back against the chair. "What's your type then?" I straightforwardly ask just to make things not so boring between us. "You" he shortly said while looking at me, lovingly. This guy in front of me is easy to read as well. Whipped for me, huh?

"Why though?" I questioned him since I found him not so appealing to me. He’s cute, has a nice body and gentleman but, yeah.

"I just like you-- but not to the point I will push myself to you" he sincerely said which I nodded my head in response. "I see. I also wonder why you still don't have any girlfriend, perhaps are you GAY?" I ask while smiling at him and it made him chuckled on his seat. "Silly, I'm not gay. It's just that-- I don't know what love really is yet" He shrugs his shoulders while leaning his chin on top of his palm. "What are you, dumb?" I ask while looking at him, confusedly but he chuckled again. "You can say that-- but I think, I'm just out of knowledge since I've never been into relationships before" he defensively said which I nodded in understanding. "Sorry" I apologize not because I feel guilty but maybe because I'm being too straightforward.

"How about you? Do you even know what love is?" He threw me the same question which made me think, deeply. "But answer that later. For now, let’s eat" Jackal suddenly said while eyeing the waitress again. "Tripled layer pancake with maple syrup on top and a medium size iced tea" the waitress said while placing my orders, carefully. We exchanges glances and smiled at each other again but when it’s time for Jackal's order, she just placed it in front of him and leave. I chuckled on my seat, seeing his reaction. "That girl has her favoritism" Jackal chuckled as well before cutting a piece from his waffle. "More like she's disgusted by you" I joked and he pretended to be hurt but just chuckled alongside with me. "Seems like she is" He agreed before stabbing a chunk of waffle.

Fast Forward: [Out in the park]

"Hey Rockey?" he tap me on my shoulder and pointed his index finger towards the bench near the entrance of the amusement park.

Once we're settled, I looked ahead of us. This place reminds me of my childhood, unknown to me, I was already in tears. "Here" I heard his voice and a handkerchief were in front of me. Out of confusion, I suddenly felt a thumb wiping something on my right cheek bone. "You're crying", his voice were full of worry but I blink few times as I gently removes his thumb off my cheek and wipe it myself, I was indeed crying. The hell? "Oh my! Sorry for getting emotional" I said as I also flash him a small smile. "Want to talk about it?" he asks but not really pushing the subject too much.

Before, Coralita was the one who always comforts me and this is the first time that a NOBODY wants to listen to me and I appreciate that--but not to the point I will tell him everything, we don't want to spill the tea yet, right?

"Hmm, you asked me earlier IF I know what love is right?", I remind him and he nodded his head, still worried for me. "So?" he said a little unsure how to react. Again, I look ahead of us, plenty of people just passing us by like we didn't even exist.

That was my life after my sister died. My parents decided to take me back with them in Sydney with my niece, Joy; Alicia's 11 month old daughter. I left Coralita without saying any farewell because I thought my life will be better with my parents but I was wrong, it was the complete opposite.

When we got there, as the day passes by, my presence seems like it doesn't exist anymore and NONE of my parents asks me if HOW Am I doing? Or HOW was my day? Something like that, they don't care about me anymore. They always fight in front of me and my niece during every meal and even though they don't say it or rub it on my face, I know deep down in their hearts that they are blaming me for what happened to my sister because I already felt that the first day I stepped inside our mansion again;

* NO conversation

* NO attention

* NO affection.

It was just like, I was only brought there to feel the not so obvious torture, MENTALLY but despite the pain I've always felt emotionally? I still choose to STAY with my parents because I LOVE them. No matter how hurt I Am? I still choose to STAY with them because I Am the only one left to take care of them, though I don't feel that they need me anymore.

I was voiceless to them. They wouldn't listen to me NO MATTER how I tried to help them cope up--because even myself, was having a hard time TRYING that.

Then one day, I woke up feeling NOTHING. I felt EMPTY inside. I don't have hopes anymore. When I see them fighting? I don't care anymore. I'm already USED and DONE with everything. I decided to go back New Zealand and find Alicia's killer. I was already packing few of my things when I heard a crying sound, it was Joy. When I entered the nursery, she stopped crying and started to giggle. Few centimeters away from her crib, I saw a smoke like figure behind her crib. Joy was still giggling and she suddenly said her first word "Mama" then I broke into tears.

I felt guilty for choosing to leave them again, but I made that guilt as my MAIN priority. I will leave them to find Alicia's killer and get the justice she deserves.

I carried Joy in my arms and I felt her tiny hand held my index finger, tightly. She was smiling and I suddenly felt cold. I was engulfed inside the smoke and it got warmer, a very familiar warmth. I know it was Alicia.

"Rockey?" Jackal's voice pulled me out of my chain of thoughts and next thing I know? I was already in his embrace. "Just let it out, it's okay to cry for once" he said while rubbing my back in comfort. Who Am I to turn down a comfort right? I did what he said, I cried silently. The pain is just the same as before. It made me weak and broken;

* The emptiness

* The longing

* The torture

It all came at once. "It will be fine, Rockey" he said while guiding my head on the crook of his neck. All I did is cry. It's been such a long time since I've last experience COMFORT.

"I will not leave you Rockey till you get better" he said before I get sleepy.

Time skipped: [Few hours later]

"Oy Vicky, stay away from Rockey. You're too close, sis!" I heard few voices not too far from me. I slowly open my eyes and heard a thud. "Yah! You okay?" Another voice said but I'm still sleepy to recognize the voices. My room was dim and I felt heavy. Something cold is on top of my forehead. I was about to reach for it but a hand stop me. "Rest for a bit, you have a fever" I recognized that voice, it was Jenifer's. So that explain why I'm so drained out of a sudden.

"Katy, is the porridge ready?" she asks and we heard a hummed, followed by footsteps. "Can I feed her?" I heard Vicky's voice by the distance. "Make sure to blow it first, okay?" Jennifer said before changing seats with Vicky. The tray was also placed on the side table.

"Lemme help you" Vicky offer and help me sit up. I muttered a faint thank you and I felt a little dizzy. "H-how did I get here?" I ask and my voice sound hoarse. My throat feels dry. "Here" she handed me a glass of water. "Thank you" I faintly said after drinking. "Did you cry?" Vicky worriedly asks while getting back the tray and I just nodded my head. "Next time, cry on me. Not with him, got it?" Vicky smiled at me before blowing a spoonful of porridge. "Pretending part 2?" Katy butt in which Vicky glared at her instantly. "Oh! New love team, I see?" Jennifer joined in which I roll my eyes playfully. "Don't mind them Vy" I re-assured the middle child and she happily feeds me.

KNOCK (2X)

"I'll get it. Katy stayed there. We don't want to see them make out, right?" Jennifer teased and Vicky were about to argue when I shushed her off by placing my index finger on her lips. "I said don't mind them" I repeated and feed myself instead. "Tsk. That's my job" Vicky said and snatches the spoon off of me. "Say ah" she playfully said and feed me again. "Hey, Harrison came to visit" Jennifer said and Jackal was indeed behind him, carrying a fruit basket. Vicky's expression went blank by instant. "Oh, I need some popcorn for this" Katy said and run towards the kitchen. "Don't forget about me Sis" Jennifer followed her. "Hey" I greeted the guy but Vicky didn't, she just feed me again. "I brought some fruits. How are you?" he asks and approaches me. "Feverish" I said and got feed by Vicky again. "You're doing that on purpose, don’t you?" Jackal raises one of his eyebrows towards Vicky who just smirk at him. "Doing what?" Vicky asks him innocently and feed me again with porridge. Jackal chuckled in sarcasm while his eye never leaves Vicky. "That. Feeding Rockey when I spoke to her" he said while crossing his arms over his chest. "Oh? That? You're overreacting dude. I'm just taking care of her, don't be judgmental" Vicky said as showed him her innocent smile.

"That's my sister! Go Sis!" Katy cheered from the kitchen. "Yeah! Fight for your love Sis! We got you!" Jennifer supported her sister which Jackal and Vicky look at them in disbelief. "Ahm. Popcorn?" Katy and Jennifer said in sync like they did say nothing. I chuckled softly and decided to end their little argument. I'm still dizzy to watch and hear them bickering in front of me.

"Anyways, what brings you here, really?" I asks him with the softest voice I could ever master and Coralita thought me that, so proud. Jackal's eyes soften and smiled at me. "I'm just here to know the answer" he said but smirk at Vicky. Then, I suddenly remember what happened in front of the amusement park and I mentally face palm myself for acting weak in front of him. "Oh that? When you feel real pain that means love, when you feel jealous that means love but when you like someone and you didn't feel those when he or she is with someone else but not you? That feeling is only admiration or a little crush but doesn’t mean love" I explained and closes my eyes.

No matter how hurt I Am? I will never stop loving those people who hurt me in the first place because experiencing pain make you feel stronger in return.

So let’s be all STRONGER.