Chapter Eleven - Unsettled (a)

When I finally arrived by the door of the master bedroom, I took some time to compose myself before walking in. As I entered, Mother was in a bad state, even worse than before. She looked paler than a while ago.

I tiptoed in but she felt my presence and turned to my direction. “Robert,” she spoke with a faint smile and a weak voice.

I walked faster and sat beside her as I reached her. “Mother, I’m right here. Gonzalo said you called for me.

“It took you a long time to get here. Where have you been?” she asked.

“I was in the stables, taking care of Lady,” I said, holding her hand in mine. Is there something wrong, Mother?

She then turned to the maids, “Please give us a moment alone.” The maids curtsied and left the room, carrying their basins of water and cloths.

“Mother, what’s wrong? What’s going on?” I asked once more.

“Robert, dear,” she started as she held my hands. “Can you promise me that you’ll watch over your father and your sister?

“What?” I asked, my brows furrowed. “What do you mean? What are you talking about? Why are you saying such things?” my questions kept on coming out of my mouth as fear began to build within me.

“Robert, I know that I won’t be by your side any longer and it’s all because of this unknown illness that I have,” she explained, not forgetting to take pauses to catch her breath. “So, I’m asking you, begging for you to watch over our family as I will watch over you all from the other side.

“Mother, don’t say that. Stop saying goodbyes. You’re not going to die,” I replied, leaning closer as I cupped her face with one hand and held her hand with the other. “This isn’t some kind of disease that you can’t survive. This is just a different type of fever that wasn’t taken care of immediately.

“Robert, this… is my body. And I know… that this is how my body tells me… that my time is nearly over,” she answered. “So, can you give me your word? Can you promise me that?

“Mother, I don’t understand where you’re getting these ideas from. I know you’ve been sick for more than a few days but that doesn’t mean you’re going to die,” I repeated, refusing to accept her explanation of death. “Aren’t you overreacting about this situation too much?

“Robert, if this were just a simple fever, it wouldn’t have lasted for more than five days,” she protested. “You know very well… that whenever I get sick… it doesn’t last for two days… and I don’t lie in bed… whenever I’m ill. This one is different. Even you can’t deny that.

“Mother, I understand how you’re feeling about this but please, until we aren’t sure of what illness you have, death shouldn’t be in our conversation,” I requested.

“But can you promise me that?” she asked again.

“Mother, please. Stop doing that,” I kissed her forehead, gripping her hands tighter. “You’re not going to die. Do you understand?

She then laid a gentle kiss on my hand. “I love you with all my heart, dear one,” she smiled, cupping my right cheek with her hand.

“I love you more than you love me, Mother,” I smiled back.

“Now, kindly tell the maids to come back in,” she said. “Go and do whatever it is you need to do.

“Are you sure? I can stay with you until you go back to sleep,” I offered.

“There’s no need for that, Robert. Your father and Aunt Bethilda will be here shortly,” she reassured.

“If you say so,” I forced a smile. I don’t feel comfortable leaving Mother in the presence of Bethilda. Also, I’m not amused about the fact that James spends more time with his duties rather than staying here for a longer time to look after my mother, his queen. I know he has a lot of things on his plate right now but isn’t the queen as important as those duties?

I bowed and carefully let go of her hand before I headed to the door.

♔♔♔

It’s late in the afternoon and with everything that’s happening right now, my mind has a lot of things to think about. It’s exhausting. I’ve walked around the garden for quite some time now, trying to avoid thinking about everything, wanting for my mind to rest, even just for a while. I would like to talk to Laura about this but it seems she doesn’t want to be found at the moment.

“Robert,” a faint voice from my left interrupted my time of peace. As I turned around, James was walking towards me. Can’t anyone in this kingdom give me some time alone? “Can I have a word with you?” he asked as he stood in front of me.

“Can’t you see that I want to be alone?” I responded, trying to be as polite as possible.

“I can join you on your walk. I just need to talk to you,” he insisted. I let out a sigh and nodded, walking once more with James beside me. “I didn’t like the way you and your sister treated your aunt,” he started. “That was very disrespectful of you.

“James, as I recall, you told me that respect is given to those who are worthy of it,” I said, my hands behind my back. “She didn’t respect our boundaries. She gave us the reason not to respect her. Why are you defending her? Shouldn’t you be defending our side? Your children’s point of view?

“I would be on your side. However, you and you sister made the wrong decision in handling the situation,” he replied.

I asked, “Did you talk to Bethilda about this?

James replied after a brief moment of silence, “I haven’t.

“See? You didn’t even bother to scold her for her mistake,” I snapped as I stopped from walking. I faced James as I continued, “Just because she’s a guest in this castle and a relative, that doesn’t mean she’s exempted from our rules. The rules - your rules - apply to everyone.

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