After the wedding,

Tara sat in the car along with her father and mother. Harish started the car engine and drove off ahead.

He looked at Subodh and asked him, “This is the first marriage I am seeing where the bride is returning to her home and not to the in-laws.’’

Subodh smiled looking at Harish. He was concerned about his daughter when Prakash told him that she can't learn further. It indeed broke his heart, but he found a loophole through it.

“What? Tara will not come home after marriage?” Prakash asked Subodh.

“Prakash my friend, you don’t know how many comrades are in our town. If they even get the slightest hint that we are practising child marriage they will arrest us!”

Prakash looked affected by Subodh’s words.

“So it will be better if you come back again when Tara will reach to the legal age of marriage and take her with you,” Subodh said.

Prakash agreed on his words.

Subodh felt relieved. This was the last thing he could do for his daughter. He knew Prakash has the effect of old mindsets of not letting the girls educate and sadly Subodh did not have much time to change his mindset of overnight. He was sure he will change one day but the day wasn’t today. In Subodh’s mind, he wanted his daughter to learn till then. He doesn't want her to stop educating further for the sake of the marriage. He doesn't want to spoil his daughter’s future for the sake of the present. After, Prakash agreed on his words Subodh felt pleased.

He glanced back at the Tara who has moved her head out of the window and enjoying the view in the sky above. Tara couldn’t take off her eyes from the star-studded sky above and the bright full moon in the middle. Her eyes reflected the moon in her orbs. She was startled, surprised and amused on how the moon was following her behind. The car was driving ahead in the speed, and she was watching how the moon was chasing her from the equal speed. After reaching home she carefully crawled over the roof of her home and held the binoculars in front of her eyes. She could clearly see the moon through it and also the rabbit on it. She smiled determining that one day she will definitely reach to the moon.

The very next morning Subodh dies making little Tara all numb.

Little Tara was feeling deprived as her father wasn’t waking up. She tried to get his attention, by shaking his hands, touching his face, but he didn’t budge in sleep. Little did she know he was no more. Her mother Sarita was crying in the corner. People started gathering after hearing her cry. Little Tara sat near her father’s dead body and asking her mother about him.

“Amma why he isn’t waking up?” she asked her mother, shaking her hands. Her mother was crying the heart out.

“Amma tell me Amma” little Tara kept asking her.

“Why are you crying Amma? What happened to Papa?” she asked her and her mother had no answers for her questions. Little Tara was waiting for her father to wake up, so she could go to the school on a cycle with him. Who will drop her at school except her father?

Little Tara’s naïve mind couldn’t understand what has happened? She kept trying to wake her father but when she didn’t get any response from him, she stopped. Sengupta family arrived at Tara’s house. Prakash ran inside the house after he got the news of Subodh’s death from the neighbourhood. He knelt down crying when he saw Prakash’s lifeless body. Subodh had already told him about his incurable decease, but he never knew his friend will leave him too soon. Yesterday when they met, he never even thought in his imagination that he will die a day after. Prakash wiped his tears. His wife Anjali tried to soothe Subodh’s wife. Whilst little Tara was looking at everyone clueless. She kept asking her mother about her father not responding to her. Prakash started making arrangements for Subodh’s last rites. He brought some people from the neighbourhood and made a stretcher of a bamboo for his late friend. When Subodh’s dead body was kept on it with the help of some people and taken outside to the house, little Tara followed them behind asking,

“Where are you taking my papa?”

No one had answers for her innocent heart-wrenching question. Prakash couldn’t understand how to tell the daughter-in-law about her father’s demise. Little Akash was also there in between the crowd. He came along with his father, and he was the same clueless about what was happening. Little Tara’s attention was on her father laying on the bamboo stretcher and not opening his eyes. Then her eyes fell on her mother. Anjali carried her mother out holding her. Little Tara’s mother collapsed near Subodh’s body and started crying again. Little Tara flinched looking at her. She has seen her mother angry, happy, upset but never saw her crying. Little Tara felt something different looking at her mother. Sarita was crying out helplessly looking at her late husband and little Tara she felt she can’t do anything for her. She felt incomprehensible to know the reason behind it. She looked at her mother who was crying out loud but still her father wasn’t waking up. Looking at her mother cry, little Tara also started crying with her. Little Akash became aware after looking at his friend Tara crying. He straightens up looking at her and felt grievous as everybody was crying. He ran towards her through the crowd and stood a little away from her.

“Amma why you are crying?” Little Tara asked her weeping mother. But Sarita couldn’t answer her daughter. She was drowned in the sorrow deeply that she couldn’t see who was near to her.

“Amma tell me,” Tara asked her again sobbing hard when Anjali became frustrated.

“Because she has become a widow,” Anjali told controlling her anger. Little Tara looked at her in confusion with her teary eyes.

“Wid...widow? What that means?” Little Tara asked her naively on that Anjali sighed frustratingly. She didn’t answer her. She already disliked little Tara the moment she married to her son. But little Tara looked at Anjali with hopeful eyes. Anjali couldn’t take the constant stare from little Tara and avoided looking at her. Little Tara attention again went towards her mother.

“Amma...” she shook her mother’s hand. Anjali sighed again. She knew this girl wasn’t going to stop asking questions too soon.

“ Why papa is not talking to me?” Little Tara asked. Anjali became irritated because of Tara's constant bombarding of questions.

“Because he is not alive any more,” Anjali said little loudly scolding to little Tara.

Little Tara flinched. Prakash gave a serious look to Anjali then he patted on little Tara’s head and told her to go inside. On that little Tara refused to go inside and stayed by her mother. She kept sobbing lightly looking at her father.

Is that mean he will not wake up any more? Not take her to school any more? Not play with her any more? Never going to tell me midnight stories any more?

Little Tara started thinking it and burst in a cry. She started understanding now why her father wasn’t opening his eyes. Probably Akash’s mother was saying right that he isn’t alive. After mourning in grief, Prakash and people in the neighbourhood lifted his friend’s dead body laying on the bamboo stretcher and resting it on their shoulder, they started walking ahead towards the funeral. Little Tara saw her mother sitting down on the ground of their veranda and crying in a grief of losing her husband. Suddenly a group of widow women wearing white sarees entered in their veranda. Their heads were shaved, and they took the saree drape over their head covering it. Anjali’s eyes widened looking at them. She knew who were they. All the widow women belong to the orthodox community which lives in the huts out of the town.

“You have to come with us” one of the widow woman came forward and talked with Sarita. She looked up with her moist eyes. She felt her head spinning in the exhaustion.

“I can not come. I have a little daughter” Sarita told them.

“But this is the ritual” Widow woman told her.

“No no, I can't leave my daughter.” Sarita became restless.

“You can not go against the ritual woman. You have to immolate yourself with your husband in the funeral. You have to go to Sati. That’s what written in cultures.” Widow woman told her. Little Tara listened to the widow woman.

Sati? Little Tara heard it for the first time. She wasn’t understanding their conversation, but she could feel the bitterness in the widow woman’s voice when she talked to her mother.

“I will not go Sati. It was my husband’s last wish. I have to fulfil it”

Sarita said. But the widow women did not listen to her.

“We don’t know anything, you have to go Sati. This is ritual and no woman can go against the ritual” Widow woman said and held Sarita by hand.

“I beg you don’t do this with me” Sarita cried when widow woman started dragging her on the ground.

“Help me please” Sarita screamed for help. Anjali kept looking at her without feeling bad. No one went to help her. Little Tara ran towards those widow women and grabbed the woman’s hand which was dragging her mother. Looking at her little Akash too ran behind her. Anjali quickly held his hand and dragged him inside. She scolds him and warned to not step outside unless she calls for him. Little Akash has to stay behind in Tara’s house. But he kept peeping between the parts of the doors.

“LEAVE MY MOTHER” Little Tara yelled at them.

“You can not talk with us like this!” widow woman glared at her.

“WHERE ARE YOU TAKING HER?’’ Tara asked them loudly.

“We are taking her to do Sati ritual” widow woman told her

“What is it means?’’ Little Tara asked her.

“Means your mother is a widow now, and she has to burn herself alive with her husband. This will show how much good and devoted wife she was” Widow woman said.

“Widow? How can you call my mother a widow?” Little Tara asked again.

“Because her husband is dead now. Same like us. We are also widows and now your mother too”

“Then why you did not go Sati?”

Little Tara’s questions raised everyone’s eyes.

“Because we belonged to rich upper-class families but your mother is not.” She said.

“Little girl does not come between our ways” Another widow woman said.

“But but” Little Tara felt helpless. She still tried to stop them from taking her mother away.

Little Tara tried to remove the woman’s hand holding her mother. Whilst widow woman was looking at her in the shock. Widow woman pushed little Tara out of their way.

Before those widow woman would drag her out of the house veranda, Prakash came running at them. In the middle of the road, he got to know about the orthodox community reaching to Subodh’s family to take his wife with them. He immediately ran offering someone else to shoulder his best friend to save Subodh’s family. He saw the widow women were already arrived and taking Subodh’s wife with them.

“Are you fine child? Go inside, come on get up” He said making little Tara stands on her feet. She stood up wiping her tears.

“But my mother” She said sobbing and hiccupping.

“Do not worry she will not go anywhere now go inside” He assured her and send her inside the house. Little Tara went inside her house glancing back at her mother multiple times.

“Where are you taking her?” Prakash asked them. Anjali furrowed her eyes looking at her husband. She felt him coming in between of the whole scenario.

“We are taking her for Sati ritual don’t come in our ways,” Widow woman said glaring at him.

“You can not take her” He stood in front of them, not letting them to take Tara’s mother. He can not let his best friend Subodh’s family shatter like this. Anjali ran to him and tried to drag him away from their ways.

“What are you doing? Do you know who they are? ”

“I know Anjali. I can't let this happen” He said going ahead to help.

“Let them do whatever they want.” Anjali stopped him.

“This is Subodh’s family. My one and only good friend. Have you forgotten how much he helped us in bad times? How can I let this happen to his family?” Prakash hopes in his mind that Anjali will understand.

“It doesn’t matter he is gone now,” Anjali said.

“It matters to me,” Prakash said removing her grip of hand from his arm.

“Listen, Mister, you can not come in our way, we are only doing what's right as per rituals” Widow woman said.

“You are doing wrong, Sarita will not go to Sati. She belongs to my family. I'm Sengupta. Owner of Sengupta caterers.“ Prakash said.

“How can she belong to your family? Will you explain to us please?” Widow woman asked.

“Her daughter recently married to my son! So as per this, Sarita became my son’s mother-in-law, close to our family in relation. ” Prakash told them.

“Now if you will take her to do Sati then I will not hesitate to put charges against you,” Prakash warned them in a calm voice. Group of widow woman looked perplexed. They looked at Sarita and discussed something with each other.

“Okay if you say we will not take her for Sati ritual, but then she has to come with us and live in the huts of our hermitage out of the town. She has to do all those things which every widow woman does. She needs to shave her head, sacrifice colourful clothes and wear white saree and has to live the life of a widow woman from now onwards” The main of the widow woman group told to Prakash.

“She can't live in the huts she has a little daughter! Why are you separating a mother from a daughter?” Prakash asked.

“But her daughter is married as you told us. She will live with your family Mr Sengupta. And her mother will come with us” Widow woman said.

“But” Prakash wanted to stop them, but he couldn’t tell the promise he made with Subodh. Because no one will understand it. Once marriage a bride has to go in-laws but to fulfil Subodh’s last wish he can not take little Tara with him till she becomes eighteen. If anyone of them get to know about this then they will make little Tara’s life living hell and with it, his reputation will go down.

He hesitated to say anything ahead. His wife Anjali smirked thinking her husband can not stop Subodh’s wife from going in the widow’s hermitage.

Little Tara and little Akash looking at the scenario out of the window. Little Tara continuously wiped her tears whilst little Akash looked at his best friend crying. He couldn’t understand what to do else for her, so she will smile.

“Why are you crying?” He asked.

“They are taking my mother away Akash” She said crying.

“But why?” He asked her in a shock.

“I don’t know” Little Tara said sobbing.

Little Akash looked at the widow women. He didn’t understand why they were wearing white sarees, but he had an idea looking at the colour white.

“Do you have colours, Tara?” He asked little Tara.

Little Tara looked at him sobbing and nodded.

“Can you give it to me?’’ He asked.

“Why?” she asked in between her sobs.

Little Akash smiled mischievously looking at her.

--

“Do not come in our ways, or we will tell this matter to community chief of our town” Widow woman said.

“Try to understand” Prakash tried to talk with widow women but all was going in the vain.

“MOVE OUT OF OUR WAY..” Widow woman said and walked towards Sarita who was crying hard sitting on the ground.

“NO please I beg you” Sarita pleaded them. Widow woman held her hand and turned to walk when a colour ball hit on her white saree making all colourful.

Everyone gasped. Widow woman looked at herself in a shock. Another colour ball came towards her and made her colourful again. She immediately moved away from Sarita looking at herself in a shock.

Little Akash aimed another colour ball towards other widow woman and in a snap made her white saree colourful. He looked at little Tara and offered her a colour ball.

“Now it's your turn,” He said giving it to her. She took it.

“Hit on anyone you want,” He said. Little Tara took it and aimed at one of the widow woman who pushed her. In a fraction of seconds, that widow woman looked colourful.

“Do not stop, keep hitting” Little Akash said keeping the bucket of colour balls in front of her. Both aimed at their targets and started hitting on them. In a moment the widow woman’s white cloths started looking colourful. To save themselves from the colour balls they started running around and finding a place to hide. But they couldn’t as little Akash and little Tara could see where they were hiding from above. They looked at the direction of the colour ball to know where those were coming at them. One of them looked up and saw two kids hitting colour balls on them. Their constant hitting of colour balls made those group of widow woman angry.

“THIS IS A WIDOW WOMAN’S INSULT” one of them growled angrily looking at Sarita.

“I AM GIVING A CURSE TO YOUR DAUGHTER THAT SHE W...” before the widow woman could complete her sentence a colour ball hit on her face. Little Akash laughed at her as his aim was correct. Widow woman’s face became red because of the colour. It made her angrier. Her fellow widow woman with her dragged her away and one by one all ran out of their house. After looking at them leaving the house, little Akash and little Tara looked at each other smiling, giving high five to each other. When they turned back, little Akash’s mother was standing behind them keeping her hands on waist and glaring at them. Little Akash looked completely scared looking at his mother’s raging form. He prayed not to get slapped but his it was too late. His mother slapped him. Little Tara flinched. She saw how his mother was glaring at her. Anjali held her son’s hand and dragged roughly away from little Tara, still giving her a threatening glare.

Anjali walked out of the house beating her own son. She pushed her son to sit inside their car. While leaving from there, little Akash glanced out of the car window and looked at little Tara. He smiled waving a goodbye to her. His mother noticed it all and couldn’t stop cursing her own daughter-in-law Tara. After reaching at home, Anjali poured her all wrath on her son. Little Akash listened to her looking down. He had the best time today. He was feeling energetic as he made his best friend Tara smile. But he doesn’t show it on the face in front of his angry mother. If anyone looked through his eyes, then his mother wasn’t looking less than a kali maa. He did not dare to look up at his mother. She was scolding him for throwing colour on widow women.

“HE HAS DONE A VERY BIG SIN!” his mother said. Little Akash couldn’t understand why his mother was getting angry. He wanted to make those widow women run from there because they were troubling Tara’s mother. He thought he had done something very great and will get appreciation but instead, he got a slap.

“Whatever has don’t we can not go back in the past and change it, if you only understand this Anjali,”

“I don’t want to understand anything. I will talk to the priest tomorrow and make a prayer to save my son from bad curses of those widows” Anjali said. Prakash walked towards his son and looked at him.

“Will you give me a reason for your mistake?” Prakash asked his son.

“T Tara was crying for her mother and those ghosts were not leaving her mother’’ Little Akash said without looking up at his father.

“Those were not any ghost's idiot!” his mother shouted at him.

She held his arm and make him face her. “They were widow women!” She told yelling at him.

“Anjali…” Prakash gestured his hand telling her to stay calm.

“For that girl, he did a sin! Oh, god. That girl has done black magic on our boy in this little age” His mother kept saying bad words for Tara which Akash didn’t understand and his father sighed.

Though Prakash knew his son was wrong, but he also realized his intentions were not wrong. His son wanted to help his best friend just like he tried to help his best friend Subodh’s family.

“I am not going to listen to you any more Prakash. Our son has done a grave mistake! That's it. He will not meet Tara from now on” Anjali said. Little Akash looked at his mother after hearing her words.

This is impossible. He thought.

“What are you saying Anjali? Do you know what are they to each other!” Prakash said indicating Akash and Tara’s married relationship.

“I don’t care about it now. I will make it allow only when that cursed girl come to our house” Anjali said it loudly.

“Don’t forget you are talking about our daughter-in-law” Prakash said giving her warning filled look.

‘’If she is our daughter-in-law then she would be in our house and not living in her mother’s house” Anjali said. She has a point. Prakash couldn’t say a word after that.

Anjali held Akash’s ear and pinched it “YOU WILL NOT MEET TARA ANY MORE, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?” Anjali twisted his ear making him squeal.

“Yes yes,” he said in pain and holding his breath. When she left his ear, he quickly ran from there inside his room. He laid on the bed rubbing his ear which turned red and thought about his mother’s words.

How is it possible to not meet Tara? She was his best friend. But he had a fear if he meet her then his mother will beat him. He was in a deep dilemma. He went near his baby sister Aashi and looked at her smiling at him. That instantly made him smile.

--

Little Tara was sitting on the ground and eating food from the plate her mother offered her. While, she was eating Sarita’s attention went towards Tara’s coloured fingers. She sighed thinking about the incident. She knew her daughter had done a grave mistake and widows will also give her a curse. That made her heart broke but after realizing Tara did it only for her mother, tears rolled down from her eyes. Little Tara stopped whilst eating and looked at her mother crying. The little mind of her suddenly became so much understanding. She was missing her father, and she knew her mother was missing him too. Little Tara held a bite of food and offered it to her mother. Her mother smiled whilst crying and ate it. Suddenly someone knocked on their door. Sarita walked towards the door and saw the widow women there. Sarita was feeling scared. She doesn’t want to leave Tara alone. Her daughter was too young to live alone. But looking at those widow women at her doorstep again, she felt nervous.

“We will not let you break the ritual” Widow woman said.

Sarita folded her hand to them in pleading.

Widow woman’s eyes fell on little Tara peeping at them from inside.

“You need to shave your head at least,” Widow woman said. Her eyes kept glancing at the little girl. She looked feared that little girl will hit colour balls on her again.

“Don’t come with us but sacrifice your head and colourful cloths. We will not interfere in your life again” Widow woman said glancing inside. Sarita noticed her looking inside whilst talking to her. She looked back and saw little Tara was not standing behind her.

“Okay I will follow the ritual,” Sarita said and stepped out of the house. She sat on the ground whilst the barber came with that widow started shaving Sarita head. Little Tara saw her mother’s eyes teary again. She was about to stop them but her mother showed palm to her, telling her not to say anything.

After shaving her head completely, widow woman gave her white coloured saree. She took it and went inside. She started packing her colourful sarees in one big metal suitcase. Little Tara saw the widow woman leaving their house. Sarita also removed the sacred necklace which was worn by her husband while marrying to her. She kept it in that suitcase and locked it. She changed her clothes and wore that white saree given by the widow woman. Little Tara was looking at her mother thinking her mother was looking the as like those widow woman. Little Tara didn’t like her mother in white saree and shaved head at all. She looked away and sat turning back at her mother.

“Tara” her mother knew her daughter was upset for listening to that widow woman and do what they want.

“I can't do anything against them, Tara. This is the ritual, this is the rule.” Sarita told her daughter.

“This is not right” Little Tara was upset.

“Tara we aren’t anyone to decide what is wrong and what is right.” Sarita tried to make her understand.

“Then who can decide it?’’ Little Tara asked her.

“Those who are respected by people and the British government,” Sarita told her.

Little Tara’s eyes furrowed. Without eating anything, she went up at the loft of her house and climbed on the roof. She picked her binoculars and saw the moon through it. It looked closer to her again but when she tried to touch it, she realized it was far away from her. She felt her dream the same as that. She thought it was closer to her when she dreamt about it but in actual she didn’t know how to achieve it. But she was determined to become something a big personality so her mother couldn’t have to follow anyone’s rituals or bend down in front of anyone.

Little Akash came out of his room without making any noise and walked towards the door.

“Where are you going Bubla?’’ Pronita caught him.

Little Akash turned to look at her He was caught by his aunt. He had a little hope in his mind that his aunt will not stop him from meeting Tara.

“Come early’’ His aunt Pronita knew he was going to meet Tara. He smiled immediately making her guess true. He tiptoed out of his house and straight ran towards Tara’s house.

Whilst little Tara was thinking, she heard a whistle. She looked around in the night. Then she heard another whistle, and immediately snapped her head at the direction from where it came from. Little Tara saw Akash on the tree near her roof. He climbed ahead and carefully came over the roof. He walked at Tara and sat beside her. Little Akash could see her upset face and tears visible in the moonlight. He pulled out some tamarinds he plucked from the tree and offered it to her. Little Tara took one and licked it. Her eyes closed pinching each other when its sour-sweet taste hit on her tongue.

“My mother scold me a lot today,” he said and received no reaction from her.

“She also told me not to meet you from now onwards.”

He said and she looked at him. Little Tara felt bad. She has only one friend and now he will also not meet her.

“So you will not meet me ever?”

“Hmm” Little Akash hummed while licking the sour tamarind. His eyes pinched closed same like Tara.

Little Tara looked down in sadness.

“I came to meet you for the last time,” He said. Little Akash looked sad. With a lot of difficulty, he stepped out from his house.

“When we will meet again?” She asked.

“Ummm” Little Akash looked at the moon thinking deeply.

“I don’t know” He shrugged his shoulders. Then he walked back to the tree and climbed down from it. Little Tara saw him going away. She felt sad and alone. How everything changed suddenly! She was with her father till yesterday and now he was gone. She was with Akash till morning and now he left her too. Little Tara looked at the moon and a thought came across in her mind. This moon never left her, he stayed at the same place only comes out once the sun was gone. She realized her moon wasn’t going anywhere. This made her happy again. She went to sleep dreaming about how to reach to the moon again.

-----

Eleven years later,

West Bengal

Tara’s Point Of View

The sunbeam fell over my wooden carved almirah through cracks of the closed windows of my room. I feel so much astonished about the sun rays and how they always manage a way to invade inside my room through that one hole of the wooden window. Today it felt little different. Just like the god was showing his bright path and telling me to wear that saree now. I knew it’s time to wear that saree now. That one cotton saree I kept aside just for today. I opened my almirah and looked on the right side downwards. There it is. I held that saree like a newborn baby. My maroon coloured cotton saree. I have worn it only once in the festival of lights. When I brushed my palm over the fabric of the saree, I felt the same feeling like I had when I wore it first. I opened the saree carefully and hold a point of it. I can wear this saree without Amma’s help now because I have turned eighteen today. That means I am an adult now and I need to be more self-sufficient. I have practised wearing other sarees so many times but failed every time. Amma has always helped me. It would be wrong if I say she helped me because I have always failed in it. But not today. I will wear this saree today without failing and without taking Amma’s help.

I held the one point and tucked it in my petticoat. Then I swirled around myself wrapping covering the saree over my body and carefully tucked it just below my navel. Done. Woooo. I felt so proud of myself. I completed the first level. As much as I wanted to cheer up for me, I controlled myself and then swirled around myself one more time. Then I held the loose end of my saree from both ends and started pleating it neatly. After I put it over my left shoulder gently, I realized something was wrong with my saree. I removed it and draped over me again the same I did it before. With all happiness I held the corner of my pallu and bringing it forward under my arm, I threw it over my right shoulder. Yes. I am done. With lots of expectations, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw what a disaster I made of my saree.

“AMMAAAA” fervently I called for a help to none other than a saree expert, my Amma. Errr the eighteen me can not even drape a simple saree, that’s a shame for a Bengali girl like me!