Tara's POV

The feeling of the devastation took over my heart, I could not feel angrier at the same moment of my life. I felt on the verge of cry or throw a fit of anger in front of everyone or possibly choke Akash with my bare hands that he hides this all pathetic ruckus from me. I vigorously rubbed my hands over my face, fanning myself as I felt sweaty because of too much to control my emotions.

This can't be happening now. I have just cleared my entrance exam and secured my place in one reputed university in the city, Kolkata. I have planned my future not with any man but weaved it with my dreams. I can't lose my hard-earned place at the university at any cost. Marriage can happen at any time in the future or may not but the place I earned in the university can not lose at any cost, if I drop it now, I will suffer forever in the regret. Then I will have to wait till next year, or probably not. I can't postpone my dream of becoming an astronaut at any cost.

To control my cyclone of emotions, I excused myself from them and came into my room. I let out a loud sigh and covered my face with palms. How can this happen? Child marriage? Seriously? How did I not remember? Or what if this is Akash’s new prank? I remember my mother telling me something about my marriage but I never paid serious attention to it. What if she was telling me about this before? I held my head. I would have listened to her before so I could make a plan about it. Now I feel thrown into something unknown.

I remember the last I met Akash, no it wasn’t ten years ago when we watched the moon together from the binocular he had and ate tamarind deciding not to see each other's faces again. It was in this morning when he chased me till university. Akash never really stopped meeting me even after he had got a threat by his mother in childhood, after what we did on the day of my father’s funeral. Only if he starts to listen to his mother then he isn't Akash!

I remember so many moments with him. Going to school together, playing together, eating each other’s tiffins. But there is no trace of memory in my head that we married each other. Probably there is one memory where I remember wearing a saree for the first time but it wasn’t enough to remember if I got married to Akash that day.

Urghhh.

I wish I could throw the lamp on Aaksh’s head and lit the bulb of his brains to tell him that I don’t dream of him. That idiot creature knows everything, remembers everything. That means he did not remember about my birthday but he does know the marriage. I will never eat those chocolates he bought for me. The things which aren’t coming into my memory right now, I can't fall victim to it. The only thing I can recollect of making a pact with myself to never stop dreaming about the MOON.

I let out another sigh, this time deciding not to overreact with anyone outside and be calm. I doubt I would be able to do it, especially when Akash will be in front of me.

Goddess Durga give me patience not to kill that idiot!

After letting out one more sigh, I tucked up my saree neatly, pressed my hands on plates, wiped my face with a towel, and became ready to face everyone, especially Akash’s mother who has always looked at me as if I have taken away something precious from her. The way she has that level of pride in her son, even if he isn’t doing anything in his life and being not more than any unemployed Bengali lad, who sometimes found at the Lal Madira Gully, chugging up the bottle of wine with his infamous friend Binoy and stare at those unaffordable jazzy women in someone's arms to fall for their charms.

Who cares where he goes and where he stares!

I shrugged away all the thoughts and remembered only one.

He knew it, Tara. He knew about child marriage!

When I walked out I deliberately ignored Akash and sat beside my mother. His mother did play some nerve-wracking tricks with me.

"Can you cook?" Comes from his mother. I sighed that she asked me this.

‘Yes, aunty I can cook for myself does your son do the same?’ I wanted to say this but instead, I nod. She asked further if I can do the cleaning of the house. Do I look like a sweeper to her? I wanted to tell her I can clean house as well as your son too using my broom but instead, I nodded. She asked if I can do Pooja of Goddess Durga, I wanted to tell her that I can do Pooja and the more exciting thing is I can be a Durga too. But I said nothing like that and just nodded simply at her. My mother kept relieving at every moment I nodded.

But I felt hyper from inside that she did not ask me about my dreams and what I would like to do? Or most probably if I am interested in her son or not? The way his parents and my mother considered that I am already his… his wife, gave me a feeling of puke.

Akash Sengupta, the boy who never settled his eyes on one girl, kept roaming with me so he can talk with the female friends of mine, this boy can't be my husband, not at all. I wish he would just find me an ugly, witch, and scary woman and gives his refusal to this relation. I could feel his stare on me while chewing the corner of his nail. Ewww. This dirty habit of his did not go away. I looked at him and he gave me an innocent pleading look in those eyes and motioning his eyes to the door, indirectly telling me to come outside for a talk. In the hate of these marriages and other downgraded rituals at weddings. I shook my head at him firmly saying NO. Not really, I just shook my head a little as his mother can catch us. Anjali aunt’s eyes are so sharp, I wonder how Akash fools her and meets me every day. He pleaded to me again, leaning back and folded his hands quickly, mouthing sorry to me.

Oh, so he is sorry now!

I twitched my lips at him.

“What are you both talking with eyes hun?” My mother said making me freeze in my place. Why these mothers become detective Byomkesh Bakshi when it comes to kids?

“Arent they already behaving like husband and wife,” His mother said.

No aunty, we are behaving like a hunter and rabbit.

“Kids these days,” My mother said. What do you mean THESE DAYS Amma? I looked at her getting surprised. Should not I say ‘Parents these days’ who lock their kids with the unbearable rituals and marriages in childhood?

“I wish Britishers would have taken their modernity back with them,” His mother said. I huffed.

Well, my tongue danced to lose the control I have put it on.

“Aunty, modernity doesn’t belong to any community or group it should be in one’s mentality’’ I said.

Everyone's eyes widened at me. All looked at me as if I said something sinful.

---

After they left, my mother could not stop bickering on me.

“You should not have said that Tara”

“You should not have done eye talks with Akash”

“You should not have done this, done that”

“Ammma, enough now. I know what should I do and not” I said feeling irritated.

Amma looked worried. “You do not, I don’t know what Anjali must be thinking now, she is your mother in law, you should have stayed quiet in front of her”

“Did I not? Ahh first of all she isn’t my mother in law and second is 'Oh I am not feeling sorry' for her Amma because she was talking so wrong, in reality, you all are wrong. How can you do this to me?” I pointed at Amma who pretended to be naïve and confuse all of sudden.

“What I did?” Amma looked at me in shock. "Everything I did for you happiness"

“How can you hide this whole thing from me?” I asked rather demanded an answer.

Amma sighed “I was waiting for you to return from your college Tara”

“No, not about Akash’s parents visiting us but the purpose behind it, how can you not tell me I was married at a younger age?” I asked in a hope that she would understand my agony.

“Tara, we had different circumstances back then,” She said calmly and went to the kitchen.

“How can you just tie me up with a boy I barely know” I blurted. Her eyes widened looking at me.

“Barely know? TARA? He is your, childhood friend, am I right?” She said. What does she mean? It is getting so difficult for me to control my anger.

“So? Is it really enough to marry someone?” I asked.

She picked up a pot and put it on the stove. “Akash is a good boy, he hails from a rich family, you have been very lucky to be his wife. He is the sole heir of his father’s clothing business’’

“Except money what does he have?” I asked.

“Why you are suddenly speaking against him? Don’t you like him?” She asked. Her words were taken me aback. Like him?

“It's not about like and unlike. Yes, we are childhood friends but now we are grown up Amma” I tried to make her understand.

“Exactly Tara, now that you both are grown up its time for you…” She held my hand, and glinting emotions in her eyes “To go at your in-laws, to live in the place where you belong to, in his house!'' Amma said. I felt shocked by hearing her words.

"Belongs to his house? How? I have born here. I will belong to the one place where I was born" I told her. She shook her head not agreeing with me.

"Once a girl gets married...her husband's home becomes her real home," She said. This time I shook my head in disagreement.

“No Amma this isn’t possible”

“WHY IT IS NOT POSSIBLE ?” Suddenly Amma yelled at me.

“I can't do this. I have a dream to live for, I have decided to do something in life” I told.

She looked at me narrowing her eyes. “What you have decided to do hun?”

I took a deep breath “I am going to be an astronaut soon”

I saw my mother started laughing at me.

“Oh Tara, poor Tara, leave such childlike dreams behind now you have grown up,” She said. It only caused my temper to flare up.

“Yes Amma, I am grown up enough to crack the toughest entrance exam of Engineering and I have secured my place in one of the highly reputed universities in Kolkata.”

I said and my mother's laughter died. Her eyes lit up in happiness but all these were for a while. She sighed and shook her head in disbelief.

“I can show you the mark sheet if you aren’t believing in me,” I said grabbing my bag. She stopped me.

“Don’t. I have always wished for you to get whatever you want. But showing your mark sheet will only hurt your mother more” She said and kept her hand on my shoulder sympathetically. This is the last thing I wanted to witness today. I expected my mother to get happy after I cleared the exam, or hug me but all she can do was to show sympathy to me.

“Women aren’t allowed to watch dreams, Tara, it has been like this for ages, so don’t watch any dreams further it will only break your heart”She said.

“And men can do anything they want? No one tells him don’t do this, don’t do that but for woman, people become ten-headed with ten different mouths to tell her, to mock at her” I said.

“Tara! A woman isn’t capable like a man” Amma said. I looked at her amusingly. How can she say that? She has solely handled me and raised me after my father's death. How can she not look up to her abilities?

“There are so many women who made a mark in their life, and you think a woman isn’t capable of anything? Tell me Amma, if a woman can give birth to a capable man then how she becomes incapable of doing anything?” I said.

My mother gaped at me.

“You talk a lot Tara, no mother-in-law will accept such behavior from their daughters-in-law,” She said. I rolled my eyes. There is no point banging my head on the wall.

“Oh leave it Amma, leave this marriage topic, let me study ahead, we have a better future than this”

She smiled at me “No Tara, your future, your fate has been already written, you are in Akash’s life”

“I don’t accept it'' I protested.''Tara isn’t in Akash’s life! I don’t accept this marriage, I will stay alone for life but won't accept him as my husband” I said angrily. Amma gasped.

“Why? Every woman has to get married at one time in her life, she can't stay alone for life otherwise society will trash her out'' She said in fear.

“Who cares about this society Amma? It is not even equal to the cow’s dung. Every woman also has dreams, except marriage! Which she wants to fulfill but marriage cages her in a trap, first marriage, then kids, then whole life live for them, Amma I am not one them. I am not going to ruin my life blowing up the steam of gas and husband”

My unfiltered clear words made my Amma cover her ears.

“You are talking non-sensible Tara, all I know is you can't do anything against this now, just accept the fact and embrace married life with him,” She said. Well, I am also adamant about my words.

“How can you do this to me Amma? How can you hide such an important thing from me?” I asked again.

“I thought you must have remembered about it,” Said Amma, avoiding me.

“I can't remember what I ate yesterday in dinner Amma, what do you expect me to remember what happened ten years ago?” I said in high pitched voice.

“That’s why his family came here to fix the date of you and his last ritual of a wedding,” She said.

“This is all wrong Amma, and anyways I don’t remember when this marriage happened so there is no point in ‘embracing’ those things which you don’t even remember” I declared.

“Probably you were so drowned in those unreachable dreams that you forgot about the reality Tara,” Amma said. Her words caught my attention in a different way. It hammered on my heart in a different way.

“Amma, I only care about my dreams and my dreams are my reality! That's what the truth of my life!’’ I stated myself clearly enough that Amma started doing her melodrama.

“If only Sudhir would be alive today, he must get very upset after seeing you talking like this, opposing his desires and wishes” She picked up the corner of the clothe of her saree and wiped her tears.

“Papa never had forced his wishes on me Amma, tell me this all child marriage idea was yours, right?” I said. She looked at me.

''Why would I lie taking your papa’s name? He died because of a fatal decease and there was no option for me rather than accepting whatever his last wish without arguing. So he could find some peace but no, you have no motive to give some peace to your father” She threw some harsh words at me.

“You both have destroyed my peace, my dreams, and my life’’ I shouted at Amma.

“ENOUGH! ” My mother yelled at me. ''Sudhir had lots of expectation from you, Tara, after all, you are our first daughter and his favorite, after you, he never demanded at me for having another child because he wanted to give his all time to you. Yes, he had taken this decision of your child marriage with Aakash but it was because he wanted to secure your future, he cared for you, he loved you, Tara.’’ Amma said angrily and wiped the traces of her tears. I looked away but she continued her talk.

''You are telling me that we destroyed your life, Tara? You must not remember how he had faced the wrath of people in the society to teach you further in school, but I do. He wanted me to study further too but I was feared by society. When it came to you he did not care about people and faced every obstacle.’’ She was telling me and I turned my foot towards my room. '' You are indeed lucky to have a father like him, but look at you, you are just being selfish for your life’’ I heard her yelling at me. Before her bitter words fall on my ears more, I closed the door and leaned on it letting out all tears free for the cages of my eyelids.

I started sobbing hard. Amma’s words pierced in my heart as well as it gave me immense rage in my heart too. How she can prove me selfish? When it was not even my choices in the past! I walked to my bad, snatched the bedsheet, and threw it away, I grabbed my bag and dumped it somewhere in the room, I punched few times on my pillow till I feel exhausted and its cotton pulls out. I sat leaning on the bed crying in despair and over my destiny.

Why it is so difficult to think about oneself? I curled my legs closer to the chest and kept crying on.

I have this one dream, to become something in my life but Amma thinks I am selfish. Why it's so hard for a woman to live and breathe peacefully on her own choices?

Whatever she does for herself, proven as selfish. Why everyone expects from the only woman to do things for others? The boy who does nothing still gets the privilege of everyone’s appreciation and when a woman does something, which might raise her high, get thrashed by society for breaking the ritual. What kind of society is this? I don’t want to be a part of such people. Perhaps that’s why I ache for the moon. It's not like the Sun, bright, shining, vanishes the darkness, the moon is soothing, calm and the one which lightens up in the darkness too.

One dream and lacs of obstacles. This is how fair my life is. I crave chocolate and instead get the news of my marriage with it. Great. I was crying hard on my birthday, which I just wanted it to end as soon as possible. I wiped my tears with pure angry and determination. That’s it. I will not eat anything today, tomorrow, till my mother accepts what I want. I will do it in Gandhiji’s way.

Hunger strike!

I will sacrifice food water until my Amma gives up and agree to me.

I sat in my room feeling pumped up by my revolutionary decisions.

After some time, Amma called me for lunch. When I gave no response to her, I heard a knock on the door.

“Tara, eat something”

Amma called me. I stayed silent.

“Tara I cooked your favorite malai kofta”

Malai Kofta!

My mouth watered. Suddenly I heard my stomach grumbling in response. I felt confused to eat or not. I was feeling hungry, thirsty. I fiddled my fingers with my saree corners and put it in my mouth. Amma knew me so well. She knew I will do this, sacrifice food. So she deliberately cooked my favorite dish.

“Tara, leave the anger, don’t take it out of food,” Amma said and then I realized I am angry! I have to remain angry until she gives up my marriage thought.

“I am not hungry Amma,” I told her. I will not fall into this easily. I will make her thinking to turn in my ways.

“Okay, Tara, as your wish,” Amma said. Then I heard her footsteps going away. Though I was feeling good that I stayed firm on my stubbornness but also felt bad for Malai kofta who isn’t going in my stomach today. Never mind. For my dreams, I will have to sacrifice my favorite things too. I gulped thickly trying not to think about delicious malai kofta. But why she has to cook it today? Oh, I should have guessed, was she planning to feed Akash and his family? Urghh.

I yawned. Time passed by, and my room started fading the brightness of the Sun. The evening lived for short and went. The night came and I lit up the lamp in my room. I grabbed my books to read and distract my mind from how much I was feeling hungry and thirsty.

Soon Amma called me again.

“Tara, come down to eat”

Am I here only to eat? I did not give her any response. My door knocked.

“Tara” My mother sounded concerned.

I stayed silent not replying to her.

“TARA... TARAAAA''

“What is it Amma?” I could not keep it and blurt.

''Come down to eat” She said.

“I don’t want to eat anything” I replied.

“You don’t say this when you eat my head!” She said. It only chided my mind.

“Amma please go,” I said.

“Why you are doing this to me?”

She asked. Can't she see what she is doing to me? Mothers and the blames they throw.

“Yes, I am the only one who is troubling everyone right?” I said.

“I did not mean like it, Tara” Her voice calm.

“Amma I am not eating anything until you accept my wishes” I declared.

“TARA, don’t be stubborn come out” She sounded angry.

“No Amma, forget whatever happened in past and let me live” I stayed firm. I hope in a while she will give in to my choices.

“Tara? Eat first then we will talk” She said but I am not going to fool myself once more.

“NO, I have decided I will not touch food and water until you give up on my marriage, I am on hunger strike Amma until you support my dreams,” I said.

Now there was no response from the other side. Either Amma fell silent or she has walked out from my room angrily. It's her way of saying ‘Do whatever you want’. Probably thinking I cant survive but I will. I have the patriotic blood flowing in my veins which has patience, rebellious attitude, and stubbornness. I can do this. My stomach has to grumble at the same moment. Not today tummy, the thing is about my dreams not about my hunger.

She doesn’t care about my wishes, my choices at all. Only she cared about her husband’s last wish. I felt alone, void, and hopeless. My stomach kept grumbling. My throat dried up. I even coughed a little. I can't give up. This is my opportunity to change everything in my life. If I win this, I will be forever free.

I grabbed the pillow and saw how I ruined it in my anger. I let out a sigh and started putting the cotton back in the pillows. Once I was done, I kept my head on the pillow. My eyes fell on something near to the corner of the wall. It was half out of my bag and looked like binocular or something like that. I got up and moved to it. Yes, it is binocular but broken. It must have broken when I smashed this bag in my anger. I picked the broken binocular and looked for its magnifying glass which has come out of the round tube. While looking for it, my eyes fell on a paper with it. It was blue in color, which I doubted to see it before too. Something has written on it. I carried the lamp and kept it near me. I started reading the letter in the light of the lamp.

“𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑇𝑎𝑟𝑎,

𝑆ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑖𝑡 𝑏𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑙 𝑡𝑜 𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑟? 𝑂𝑟 𝑛𝑜𝑡? 𝑊𝑒𝑙𝑙, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑡𝑜𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝐼 𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑟,

𝐼 ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑖𝑓𝑡. 𝑊ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝐼 𝑤𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑘𝑒𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑢𝑦 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑒 𝑏𝑖𝑛𝑜𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝐼 𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠𝑛’𝑡 𝑎𝑠𝑘 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑖𝑡𝑠 𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑐𝑒. 𝑇ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑖𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑠𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙”

I chuckled and read ahead,

“𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑢𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑐𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑒𝑥𝑎𝑚, 𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑚𝑢𝑠𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑠𝑐𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑑 ℎ𝑖𝑔ℎ. 𝑀𝑦 𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑎 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡’𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑦 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑛’𝑡 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑖𝑡 𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑒. 𝑊𝑒𝑙𝑙, 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠𝑛’𝑡 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑤𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑙𝑦 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘, 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑏𝑢𝑠𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑦𝑠, 𝐼 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤, ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑖𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝐽𝑢𝑙𝑖𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑔𝑒 𝑎𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢? 𝐼𝑓 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑐𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑎𝑖𝑙𝑦, 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑢𝑡𝑖𝑓𝑢𝑙, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢’’

I took a deep breath. In anger in admiration.

“𝐻𝑎ℎ𝑎ℎ𝑎 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑢𝑛 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝑛𝑜, 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦, 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑎 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑙 𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑡𝑜𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡’𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑦, 𝑐𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝑠𝑎𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑎𝑑 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑐𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑒 𝑒𝑖𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑢𝑡𝑖𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 80-𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟-𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑙𝑎𝑑𝑦 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑇𝑎𝑔𝑜𝑟𝑒'𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑏𝑟𝑎𝑟𝑦 𝑎𝑡 𝑏𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑒”

I chuckled.

“𝑆𝑜 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑦 𝑏𝑖𝑟𝑡ℎ𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑜𝑙𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑛𝑜𝑤. 𝑂ℎ 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑤 81 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑜𝑙𝑑? 𝐼 𝑤𝑖𝑠ℎ 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚.

𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛’𝑡 𝑠𝑎𝑦 𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢

𝑂𝑟 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝐼?

𝑀𝑦 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑.”

I laughed at his flirtatious attempt on me which has gone failed, miserably. I kept laughing and rereading his letter again and again because this is the only thing that has made me feel better today.

I looked at the binoculars gifted by Akash. Only he knows what I like and not. But I am not careful enough with it. I have broken these binoculars. Which I doubt to be less expensive. I tried to fit the glass on the tube but it couldn’t stay in the round border for long. I sighed looking at the one hollow tube and the other one being proper. I moved to the window and opened it. The moonlight invaded my room. I smiled and held those binocular in front of my eyes, seeing through the proper one which was broken. I moved to the direction of the moon and saw someone too close to me. I moved back from the binoculars. I adjusted it properly and again saw through it. I saw

AKASH!

He looked too close to me, waving his hand at me. I looked over the binocular to see if he is really there? I could see a small figure on the tree, waving at me. I again saw him through binoculars. He smiled and raised both hands up to wave at me, but he unbalanced and fall.

Oh my god!

'Can this boy ever behave?' I got down from the bed and readjusted my saree ‘Be careful’ I wore my sleepers and slowly opened the door. Without making a noise I tiptoed out of my room. I saw Amma was sleeping in the kitchen. Is it that late? I walked from there carefully and came out of the house. I had the binoculars in my hand but I hid it, holding my hand behind. I walked towards the tree where I saw him through my binoculars. After reaching near the tree, I looked for him everywhere. He doesn’t seem to be here. Where he would have gone?

“Bhowww”

“AAaaa’’ I squealed as suddenly came from behind me. I looked back, there was no one but I can hear shuffling, I looked to my other side, still found no one.

“Caught you!”

I flinched when he suddenly came in front of me.

“Akash you half brain, you scare me!”

I scolded him, keeping a hand over my heart, making sure it's beating. To my surprise, it was beating loud and fast.

“That’s alright Tara, oh your heartbeats are racing up loud and clear”

Unfortunately, he heard it.

“It's okay it happens to girls when they are around me” He winked at me. I gave him a glare, a very dangerous one.

“Ahem” He coughed and scratched the back of his head, looking at me innocently.

“I am here to apologize you” He said.

“I am not interested in it” I turned to go and he held my wrist. I looked at him in a gasp. He immediately let go of my hand.

“Wait, Tara. Give me a chance to tell you what happened exactly” He said. I took a deep breath before saying him yes for his next non-negotiable talk.

I hummed and he started.

“I really did not know my maa and baba taking me to your house for the marriage talk I swear to Goddess, If I would have known it before then you could not even see me there with them.” He told me.

I narrowed my eyes at him. He sighed.

“What about chocolates and those gifts? How can I believe it wasn’t for the fixing ritual” I asked folding my hands together.

“I bought those all as your birthday gift Tara,” He said.

“That’s... totally Firang (Western) way to do it” I looked away folding my arms.

“So what? You also love those chocolates aren’t you?’’ He said, tapping the toe of his boot to the ground.

I hummed nodding at him.

“Is that it? Done talking and apologizing? I am leaving then...” I turned to go when he held my wrist, again, I gave him a look again but this time he did not let go of my hand. I looked around to see if anyone is here.

“Don’t go yet, I want to tell you something” He said.

“What is it now?” I said judging him by his looks and serious face. He deeply stared in my eyes. Oh god. Why I am having a bad feeling out of nowhere that he will profess his love to me next and tell me to be his wife now.