MADISON looked at her phone before she got off her car. She checked if William has texted her, but she received nothing from him. She sighed. She doesn’t understand why he has to be like this to her if all she did was understand him and comfort him. Madison felt as if her words weren’t enough for him to calm.

She looked on the driveway and found his car parked in the garage. “He didn’t inform me that he has gone home… Unlike before.”

Her chest started to tighten in so much pain that William is giving her. But even if he continues to shun her away and make her feel she doesn’t need him, Madison will never give up on her husband. She knew that this is the time that she has to show him her support. William needs her as much as she needed him.

Madison took a deep breath before she pushed the door open. The first thing that she saw in the living room was William’s things scattered on the floor. It looked as if he just threw it all anywhere.

“William?” Madison asked as she roamed around their house. “William?”

Panic rose on her chest when she remembered what Dr. Jacob told her when they saw each other at the café. Her husband is on the brink of being a suicidal case because of his fast-developing anxiety. Madison wouldn’t forgive herself if something terrible happened to William.

“William, where are you?” she asked worriedly and searched every room on their first floor. When she couldn’t find him anywhere, she looked upstairs. “William—?”

“I’m here. Stop shouting,” William answered and stepped out from the balcony. He was holding a glass of ram. “You’re late.”

“William…” Madison ran to him. “I’m sorry…” she said and hugged him tightly.

“I hate it when you say you’re sorry,” he said and snuggled closer to her. “But it calmed my thoughts knowing that I still have you even I can’t give you the family that you wanted to have.”

Tears fell on Madison’s cheeks. “It’s okay, honey…” She buried her face on his chest. “It’s okay as long as you’re here with me.”

William pulled back from her and looked straight in her eyes. “But I wanted to see little Madison running around our house…” Tears shone on the corner of his eyes as he looked into their living room. “That’s why I chose this interior design of our house. It’s for our kids. I wanted them to keep safe while playing inside.”

Madison couldn’t help but cry. “I know, honey… But we can wait, right? We still have a lot of years to prepare for them.”

William shook his head. He went back to their coffee table on the balcony and drunk on his glass of ram. “I don’t think I can wait long, Madison… And I don’t want you to have this kind of family.” He looked at her with sad eyes. “I know how much you wanted to have children. I know that you really wanted to be a mother and experience taking care of your baby. Just like your friends…” He heaved a sigh. “It hurts me to see you envy your friends whenever they visit you here with their babies. I can see it in your eyes, honey… And, it pains me.”

Madison took the chair in front of him. “William, don’t worry about me. I can wait for the right time for us to have a baby.” She touched his hand on the table. “With or without a baby, my love for you will never change, honey.”

William shook his head. “A family without children is not a family. They’re just husband and wife.” He filled his glass again. “Remember the first time that we met? You’re just seventeen back then, a beautiful freshman student. And, the moment that I lay my eyes to you, I told myself that you will be the mother of my children.”

“And, you will be my loving my husband, William,” she said and smiled. “You showed me how beautiful love could be. You treated me with respect and showered me with your love. And, I promised to myself that I will never get tired of loving you, that I will do anything to make you happy with me.”

“But I failed to do the same to you, Madison,” William countered. “I failed to give back the favor to you. Because of this fucking medical problem that I have, I can’t give you a happy family that I promised you when I proposed a marriage to you. Because of this incapacity, I can’t make you happy. What I gave you is problem and tears!” he shouted angrily and threw the glass on their wall. It shattered and caused a startling noise. “I’m useless, Madison. I don’t deserve you—”

“That’s not true, William!” she cut off and went on his side. She hugged him tight even if he refused to be touched by her. “Don’t say that to yourself, honey. Please… We’ll fix this. I promise you, we can get through this. Just don’t give up on me.”

William’s shoulders shook, and he started to cry. The sound of his weeping pained Madison even more. “I’m sorry, Madison… I’m sorry because I failed you.”

“No, William. You never failed to make me happy,” she said and kissed his cheek. “Just to see you with me is enough for me to be happy.”

William looked at her and wiped the tears on her cheeks. “But I always make you cry.”

“I cry because I love you so much,” she said and kissed his lips passionately.

_______________________

“ANY PROGRESS?” DR. Jacob asked Madison when they met at the same coffee shop to give him updates on her husband’s mental state. “Has he talked to you?”

Madison slopped her shoulders. “We talked last night… But I don’t think I can call it a progress. He still blames himself.”

“Apparently, the problem is in him, and not you,” he said and smiled apologetically to her. “That’s why he’s acting like that because he knew that he can’t make you pregnant. He’s aware that he has an insufficient sperm count. His condition is nearly a sterility.”

Madison pressed her lips together. She doesn’t want to hear the obvious because it distracts her mood. “By the way, I called you to give the medical records that you asked for. What are you going to do with our records?”

Dr. Jacob took out the documents in the envelope and read it. “I just want to confirm our compatibility,” he said, not taking his eyes off the forms. “And, I’m right, our genes are compatible.”

“What do you mean?” Madison asked in a knotted forehead.

Dr. Jacob lowered the papers and looked straight in her eyes. “Madison, I’m offering myself to you,” he said and pulled out an envelope from his bag. “This is my medical records. I have healthy sperms, I can give you a child—”

“W-wait, I don’t understand, Dr. Jacob,” Madison cut off. She was so shocked that she wasn’t aware that her voice was raised. “What are you trying to tell me?”

“I’ll put it this way, Madison,” he said and pushed the form to her. “Your husband’s depression is worsening because of his medical condition. He can’t accept that he can’t give you a child. To save him from committing suicide, I will make you pregnant, and you will tell William that it’s his,” he said casually. “No strings attached, Madison. Just my sperm.”

***