“OK look, I’m sorry, I promise never to question your movements ever again... just talk to me, please.” My mom said as she was still weeping softly.
Dad talked to her, what he said made mom drop on her knees. If I could remember clearly, his words were.. “I can’t continue to live like this, I’m moving on… I only came back to get my things… I hope you can try to understand me.” Those were his words.
Mom: Can you listen to yourself speak?
Mom replied to him while she was still on her knees, weeping. Mom was quiet for some time as she kept drowning in her own tears.
“Che mi dici di sebastiano,” [What about Sebastiano?]
She added, raising her voice at dad.
Dad: I have not being able to take care of him while I’ve been here, non avrebbe fatto alcuna differenza per lui
“so it wouldn’t make a difference to him,” dad said in Italian as I could see that he felt no remorse.
I wasn’t so good at Italian then, but I understood their conversation.
Mom: don’t you understand he loves you more than any other thing in this world, not even money can take away the love he has for you. Non sei mio marito, sei qualcun altro.
“you are not my husband, you are someone,” so she added in Italian as she cried herself eyes out.
Dad: Sono stanco di queste responsabilità, non posso continuare così, ho la possibilità di vivere una vita migliore con Diana e non voglio lasciarla andare”
“I’m tired of these responsibilities, I can’t continue like this, I can live a better life with Diana and I just don’t want to let her go,” He said in Italian.
Mom: Aren’t you even ashamed of yourself?
mom said to him, as he walked passed her and pretended as if there was no one kneeling before him, and then he was almost at the doorstep as he stopped immediately realizing that mom was clinging unto his leg while she was still on her knees.
“Don’t do this to us please,” She cried, while gripping his legs. Seeing how she was being treated, I couldn’t help but to allow myself cry.
Dad pushed her to the ground and walked inside. On entering the room, he saw me standing in front of him. He ignored my presence as he started packing up his things.
“Are you my daddy?” I asked him, as I stood right behind him, looking so confused.
The next thing I knew was that I had already been shoved out of the way, as I fell and hit my head on the wooden stool which used to be at the right side of the bed.
“Sebastiano!” Mom screamed, as she heard the noise which came out of the room. She ran to me, raised me up from the floor, and held me tightly to herself as she said these words to dad “You can pack your bags and leave if you want to... but don’t you ever touch my son again, non è più tuo.” (He’s not yours anymore) - she added in Italian.
“Just leave us alone” she said, as dad was done packing up his stuff and had already left the room -moving towards his car. Mom and I moved to the doorstep as we saw him walk away from us.
By that time, he had dropped his belongings in the car and just before he entered it; he stopped by, removed his wedding ring and threw it at my mom’s face. He walked back to the car, entered it and drove away.
That was the last time I saw my dad. We thought he would call us initially, but he didn’t, and we knew he wasn’t joking when he left. It was also the last time I went by the name “Sebastiano Luigi”. I took my mother’s surname “CAPITELLI”, as I had no other reason to go by my father’s.
PRESENT DAY: [Home. Naples, Italy.]
I wake up as water from the rain splatters all over my body, and beating hard against my skin, “Sebastiano, It’s raining. Move quickly to the other side,” Mama calls to me and I pick myself off the floor where I used to lie on dry weathers. Whenever it rains, I move to the floor close to the wall and sit while I lean my back against the wall to sleep. I don’t enjoy sitting to sleep, 90 percent of humans would love to lie down to sleep rather than sit and catch their heads back up whenever they feel like its rolling of their necks while sleeping. The reason I do that whenever it rains is that the room is so small that it can only occupy two laying bodies. The roof does not extend to my sleeping space, It only covers where my mother sleeps. She would plead, begging me to sleep at her space instead and let her sit and lean on the wall, but I refused every time she suggested it, because I don’t want her to suffer. “Sebastiano, move to the wall,” She calls to me for the second time, and I become fully conscious and my eyes widen... I’m already soaked up in rain water.
I get up quickly to grab the big bowl like I always do when it rains. I grab the bowl and set it under the open space, and rain drops starts to beat on the bottom of the plastic bowl.
My mother also sleeps on the floor, but the roof extends to her sleeping space. After Setting the bowl, I trudge with disappointment all the way to the wall.
I slap my back against it as soon as I reach and slide down gently until my butt touches the floor.
I close my eyes at the melodic sounds of the raindrops beating against the half filled bowl of water, and I sleep off.