Watching the storm from the window in my bedroom, I keep rubbing my wrist where George had left his handprint on me.  After getting home Tuesday afternoon from jail, the first thing he did was slam me up against the wall and warn me that if I ever see Jordan again it will be the last thing I do.

With tears streaming down my cheeks, I wish I had never married him.  Perhaps, then my life would have turned out better and still had my children with another man that is loving like Jordan.  Just thinking about that makes me cry harder as I feel an emptiness deep inside me grow.

I believe it's because now that I have felt love from a man, I miss it.  Before, I couldn't miss what I had never experienced.  Although, the love from my children is different and yet strangely like the love I feel coming from Jordan.  

Hearing a knock at the door, I hurry up and wipe my tears on my sleeve.  "Mom, can I talk to you?  I had a bad day at school today."  I walk to the door and unlock it, hesitating briefly to make sure that there is no evidence of my crying.

"Baby, what’s the matter?"  Kelly's eyes are red, and I can tell she has been crying.  Pulling her to me, I give her a hug.  

She looks up at me and starts to cry on my shoulder.  Rubbing her back, she stops and tells me, "I started my period in school today and I was wearing my white jeans.  Everyone seen it and now they are all talking about me."  

"Baby, that's a hard one.  Every female I have ever known has had that happen at least once in their school life.  You must learn to not pay attention to people talking.  Don't care what they think, because next week they will have someone else's problems to gossip about and completely forget about yours."  Hugging her again, she struggles to smile, but does eventually and goes to her room.

Deciding to make dinner, I straighten my dress and look in the mirror.  Noticing that my eyes still look red, I shut the door to the bedroom and walk to the bathroom.  Opening the door, I go to the sink and splash cold water on my face, blot my eyes with the towel gently and then look back in the mirror.  

"There, a little better."  I comment out loud and turn around, walking to the kitchen to make dinner.  

What to make?  Standing in the middle of the kitchen I rack my brain, trying to figure out what to cook for dinner.  A thought comes to mind, and I walk over to the pantry and pull-out angel hair noodles and alfredo sauce.  Grabbing some imitation crab meat, I put it in with the alfredo sauce in a pan.  The noodles boil, while I warm the sauce over a low heat.  

After draining them, I throw everything together in the pot and warm them slightly.  Calling everyone to dinner, I set the table and bring out the food.  Kelly and Jon are the first to the table and then George comes waltzing out of his study looking distracted.  

Before I get a chance to say anything else, Kelly and Jon start shoveling food into their mouths and drink the glasses of milk in front of them.  I sit back and smile, at least this hasn't changed.  Picking over my food, I wonder if Jordan got out of jail O.K. and how I was going to ever see him again.

The second thing George had done when he got home was to take away my phone and my car keys.  Not knowing what to do, I wanted to curl up and die.  Glad that Connie had briefly come over to make sure that everything was well when she couldn't get ahold of me, I felt relieved.  After all, I had never been away from my phone before and not being able to call Connie whenever I need her is killing me.

With the food getting cold, I smile at Jon and stand up to put my plate in the kitchen.  "Mom, are you not feeling well?"  Jon looks at me thoughtfully and asks.

I tell him, "I think it's just the stormy weather affecting me.  That's all.  Eat up the rest of your food and put your plate in the kitchen when you are done.  Please."  Walking back to the bedroom, I hear a loud crackle outside, and the lights go out.