WEARING his heart on his sleeves was what Kyuhyun is known for. He sang always, always from his heart. That was the reason why no one in the group acknowledged him at first. He was far too passionate to have control over his emotions. Heechul always centered him, told him what to do and how to appear less like the fool that he felt he was most of the time. This homecoming had been long overdue. Heechul had advised him that pursuing his dream was worth more than trying to get an unsure relationship patched.

That was why his hyung felt so guilty he could do anything to make Sungmin love him again. But the heart, however fickle it may seem at times, remembers who it is meant to beat for. And Kyu believed in that, love at first sight and the fairytales of happily ever after. He'd hoped for Sungmin to be his prince. It was his impatience that he blames for this temporary loss of sanity on Sungmin's part. They were together for four years. It was meant more than one night with a pup.

He was willing to grovel and to be devious just to get his beloved back. Even if it meant letting Tao have him for now. Even if it meant hurting Sungmin just to have him again.

Kangin held him close when they greeted each other. The others were there, except of course those who were overseas. "Welcome home, maknae." Kangin's warm voice made Kyu tear up. "Let's have the tears in the car. Siwon's fans might spot us and we don't want yours to see you crying. We've had enough crying scandals on Twitter for this year." The rest got the joke but Kyu was too dazed to even say anything let alone smile.

"He's in SMUni. He said he'd come over to Siwon's after his class." Yesung knew what he was wondering about and had eased his mind by telling him where Sungmin was.

"I hope you guys are not thinking he went back home because of Sungmin." Heechul was trying to protect him again. The rest was on to him.

"Do you want us to pretend that they never broke up and that there is not going to be any awkwardness now that Sungmin is with Tao? What kind of friends do you think we are, huh?" Jungsu was uncharacteristically sarcastic.

"I don't want to cause Sungmin any trouble." he finally found the line that Heechul had asked him to say. He wanted this to work. He was going to make sure that by the end of this month he had Sungmin back in his arms. And that foolish panda was out of the picture.

He smiled his timid but familiar smile. "I just want to make sure that he is really happy."

"Sooo you are not going to try to get back together with him?" Kibum had to ask.

"If he chooses me over someone else then he has to do it willingly. I am not going to force him to do anything that he doesn't want to." Siwon eyed him with pity reflected on his eyes. "Don't give me that look. I am not saying that I am hoping they break up but if Sungmin sees me and tells me I still have a chance with him, I am saying that I won't let anything get in the way of that, not even my own stupid pride."

They rode in two vans and Kyu sat next to Jungsu. "If you are planning something devious with Heechul let me just tell you now that I am against it. If I find out that you are planning to break Tao and Sungmin up just so you can have him back, then you are not just going to lose Sungmin but me as your hyung as well."

"So you prefer Tao over me?" he was genuinely hurt.

"What kind of friends do you think we are, the fair-weathered kind who lets the other do whatever he pleases? I am your hyung, I will not sit back and watch you destroy the happiness of another person just because you selfishly think that you own them. I know you Kyu, you hate to lose. You want things that people already have. The reason you left Sungmin may be some noble act of self-preservation. But you proved nothing but that you can't stand up for what you decided in the first place. If you really love Sungmin, you would let him be happy with whomever he chooses to be with."

And he would choose me, just wait and see.

The party was already in full swing, full of old friends and classmates. Everything was being broadcasted over to China, Canada, and the US for the other SUJU member's benefit. It was like an impromptu reunion for their batch. Siwon was the host and they were all having a blast. Sungmin came in with a bottle of wine and an escort.

Holding the mic for the mini-stage, Siwon ushered Sungmin to the stage for a performance. He was of course hoping that Sungmin would sing with Kyu just like old times. They made a terrific duo in the past. But Sungmin surprised everyone when he asked Tao to sing with him.

"I know that you all knew this about me but I am grateful that you never told anyone or tried to confirm it. But I am, saying it now. I am coming out of my academic closet and letting it all out. I hope that you would still be my friends despite the announcement. I am in love with someone and he is in love with me. And I hope you would enjoy our song." Sungmin and Tao sat on the stools set up and did an acapella of an English song he has never heard before.

*open and play http://videokeman.com/jimmy_bondoc/the-man-i-was-with-you-jimmy-bondoc/ *

listen just hear me out

yes i know we agreed

when we break up we’d never give in to this need

to admit to each other

i miss you

listen just hear my cry

no i won’t break my word

if i do say i miss you it would never be heard

let my heart whisper

all that it needs to

*how could you make me take a start?

then just leave me here hanging

can’t even say how i’m feeling

how could you make them break my heart?

if i can’t say that i miss you

let me say one last thing

i miss him

and all the things he could do

yes/oh, i miss him

just as much as i miss you

oh, i miss him

i know you’re wondering who

yes, i miss him

i miss the man i was with you

oh i would never be the same

listen just hear my voice

can you hear all the tears?

that i’m planning to hide

for the next thousand years

just as long as you know that

i love you

how could you make me take a start?

then just leave me here hanging

can’t even say how i’m feeling

how could you make them break my heart?

if i can’t say that i miss you

let me say one last thing

i miss him

and all the things he could do

yes/oh, i miss him

just as much as i miss you

oh, i miss him

i know you’re wondering who

yes, i miss him

i miss the man i was with you

oh i would never be the same

how can a blind man find the light?

how can i find the kind of right?

how could you take away my sight?

how could you lose me in the night?

then you took away the heart in me

now i’m losing this fight

no i would never ever be the same

ooh.. ohh

oh, i miss him

and all the things he could do

yes, i miss him

just as much as i miss you

oh i miss him

i know by now you know who

yes, i miss him

i know by now you know who

i miss him

i miss the man i was with you

oh, i would never be the same

The song was heartbreaking, the lyrics were meant for him to sing and not Sungmin. It was almost like his ex was taking a jab at him.

Tao got down and left Sungmin began to sing another song. Another unfamiliar yet resonating song.

*Open and play http://videokeman.com/nina/someday-nina-2/

Someday you’ll gonna realize
One day you’ll see through my eyes
But then i won’t even be there
I’ll be happy somewhere
Even if i can’t

I know
You dont really see my worth
You think your the last guy on earth
Well i’ve got news for you
I know i’m not that strong
But it won’t take long
Won’t take long

Coz someday, someone’s gonna love me
The way, i want you to need me
Someday, someone’s gonna take your place
One day i’ll forget about you
You’ll see, i won’t even miss you
Someday, someday

But now
I know you can’t tell
I’m down,and i’m not down anyway
But one day these tears
They will all run dry
I won’t have to cry
Sweet goodbye

Coz someday, someone’s gonna love me
The way, i want you to need me
Someday, someone’s gonna take your place
One day i’ll forget about you
You’ll see, i won’t even miss you
Someday, someday

The song was about a woman who had her heart broken telling the man who left that someday someone was going to love her the way that she wanted to be loved. How she would forget him and the hope that she would someday no longer feel depressed. It was as if Sungmin was telling Kyu that he has moved on. And that there was nothing else to look forward to. Sungmin was joined by another classmate, a female singer who had felt the song with him. Obviously, she knew the song well.

Heechul had gasped when she went on stage. Kyuhyun didn't even have to ask. It was her. His hyung's own the one who got away. The reason why he cried when he sang love songs about loss and refused to sing love songs about hope. Because he was not yet willing to move on.

She was the reason why he had desperately wanted to patch things up with Sungmin and him. The look on his hyung's face mirrored what he was feeling, agony beyond tears and anger that was directed inward. For not being strong and wise enough to keep the person who was the very reason why our heart was beating. All the confidence and strength drained from Heechul's face. There were tears, Kyu was sure of it. But they were shed in silence, in the dark where no one can witness his anguish.

"I feel you hyung." was all he could say. That made Heechul snap at attention and face him abruptly. Clearly, Heechul had not meant to show anyone this side of him. Not even to him.

"Cowards are not meant to fall in love." Kyuhyun has heard that repeated in their group before.

"I wasn't the coward. Sungmin was." he wanted to blame Sungmin but it sounded childish and pathetic even to him.

"He's become braver." Heechul was not able to believe his own observation.

"And I have forgotten how to take risks...sooner." Kyu sighed. Then pressed on his hyung's shoulder. "Mine has found someone else, yours seems to still be singing for you. I don't think that it's over for her either."

"I chose music over the muse. She said she understood that. But I hurt her so much when I left for my dream. Now that I have my dream, it's so empty without her." Kyu knew that it was difficult for Heechul to tell him. Always trying to be the strong hyung to him, it was not like him to tell anyone about his regrets or his mistakes.

"Go to her. Be brave." Heechul tried to smile, the fear clear in his eyes.

"Be sure to have a pack of ice ready. From what I remember, she packs a mean right hook." Heechul caressed his cheek as if feeling a lingering injury.

"Clench your teeth then." Heechul was already walking towards an old love. Kyu looked at his own walking towards his new one.

There it was, the tearing stopped. Since the pieces had fallen, in millions of pieces to his feet. The smile on Sungmin's lips was what it took to dash all his misplaced hopes of reconciliation. Tao let Sungmin sit on his leg and held him close, whispering something intimate. And Sungmin had let him, in front of old classmates, colleagues and friends. No codes, no secret touches but out in the open, love out in the open.

What he had hoped for was now Tao's.

--------

A/N: Man I was with You by Jimmy Bondoc and Someday by Nina 

https://open.spotify.com/album/6sFyORSgKHCSeYLMmNHJyj?highlight=spotify:track:6bl0AtwSlQntiXfoAJ5IjD