My eyes move back and forth between the different brands. I’m trying to remember what Neil said, but I can’t. I could’ve sworn I wrote it down on my notes app, but it’s not there either. Pregnancy brain is really something. 

I look up the aisle, but the only other shopper is a woman with brittle blonde hair in a clip lifting some box wines into her cart. I turn back to the shelves in front of me, scanning the different labels. Maybe one will just jump out at me and I’ll remember which one it was Neil mentioned.

But nothing jumps out.

But I really wanted to get the right one and make a good impression. It’s not every day you meet your fiancé’s best friend. And Neil told me twice what Ari liked.

I close my eyes and try to think. What did Neil say? He must have mentioned it twice – he knows my memory has been getting the best of me lately. I remember him telling me which one it was, but I can’t remember what he actually said. And he was behind me when he said it, so I can’t even picture his lips moving. 

Was it an “a” sound?

Or maybe an “oo”?

It’s all whiskey anyway. I’m sure it all tastes the same at the end of the day. I’m not really a whiskey person, but I’ve had it a couple of times. I couldn’t tell you one bottle from the other. Maybe I should just choose a brand? I lift an arm, and it hovers over the bottle closest to me, with a label that’s illustrated to look like a faded paper. It’s not the most expensive one, but it’s not the cheapest one either. Whiskey is whiskey. Ari will be glad to have whatever I buy. It’s the thought that counts.

I can tell Neil that I tried to call him to ask – which I did – but he didn’t pick up. Sometimes he puts his phone on silent during classes and forgets to put the sound back on and it’s usually okay but I’d better tell him to stop doing that, especially with the baby coming. There could be an emergency-

“You look like you’re stuck,” someone says.

I turn. There’s a man standing to my right. He’s about Neil’s height, with dark hair that looks professionally spiked and tousled, and a neatly trimmed beard. His eyes are grey and warm, and his clothes are dark too – faded black jeans, a navy shirt, and a distressed denim jacket with sneakers.

I smile, somewhat sheepishly.

“I think you’ve been standing here for ten minutes,” He says. “I walked by this aisle a couple of times only to find you standing there each time, dropping and raising your arm.”

“I’m trying to pick a bottle of whiskey,” I explain. “I don’t really know much about it, and it’s for someone I’ve never met. All I know is, they love whiskey.”

“Trying to make a good first impression?” he asks.

I nod. “There was a particular label and I just can’t remember what it is,”

“So that’s why you’ve been standing here making faces at it all.”

I laugh. “I wasn’t making faces.”

“You were,” he insists. And then a one-shoulder shrug. “They were cute though,” He says.

I feel myself color.

Before I can say anything, he’s reached over. “This one’s good,” He says.

“You know about whiskey?”

“Yeah, a little bit. It’s my personal favorite,” he muses, offering me the stout bottle. “Some really nice notes in there.”

“What if it’s the wrong one and they don’t like it?”

“No, no, no.” He waves off my concerns.  “Trust me. You can’t go wrong with this one.”

“Let’s just say I do.”

“Then I’ll reimburse you myself,” He says. “I’ve never been wrong. Come on.”

I take the bottle from him and put it into the cart carefully. “Maybe I should get another one just in case?”

We look at the bottles again, and then he selects one from a higher shelf. “A little pricey, but definitely a second favorite of mine,” He tells me. “If they know a little bit about whiskey then they’ll drink it because they know it isn’t cheap.”

He puts it into my basket without asking, and I laugh.

“Okay,” I say.

He grabs another bottle of the first whiskey and puts it into his own basket.

“Well, thank you,” I say. “If I’m not satisfied, I’ll go through the security footage and hunt you down for that reimbursement.”

“Won’t be necessary,” he rebuffs, with quiet assurance. His eyes hold mine, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. I feel my cheeks warm again, and turn to go. He stops me. “Could I… get your number?” He asks. “I’m in town for a while and maybe we could grab a drink-”

My whole face is flushed, but I carefully raise my hand so he can see the engagement ring I’m wearing.

“Oh,” He says, a little self-consciously. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t see that.”

I shrug it off.

I’m almost six months along, and my bump has popped, but it’s not so noticeable under the loose, layered maxi dress I’m wearing, and he was on the wrong side to see the ring, so it isn’t entirely his fault.

“Thank you once again,” I say, with a friendly smile.

“Well if things fall through, I’m still good for a reimbursement.” He insists. Almost as an afterthought, he adds, “And a drink.”

*

We’re staying with Anya at her new place, because our house isn’t ready yet, and won’t be until a couple of weeks or so after the wedding. It’s a large, two-story colonial with four bedrooms, beautiful sweeping lawns, and a large jacaranda in the yard. I wasn’t really sure why my sister bought such a big house at this point in her life, especially because it was outside of her price range at the time she was looking. I remember coming to look at it with her, throwing each other skeptical looks behind the realtor's back while he explained that the house was slightly outside of her comfort zone, and wasn’t exactly on the market just yet.

But when we pulled up to the street and saw the jacaranda flowers carpeted on the lawn, it took my breath away. And I could see it on Anya’s face as she walked through the rooms. There would be no other houses to look at. It had recently been renovated, with a more open-plan floor plan downstairs, newly fitted kitchens and bathrooms, and the rooms painted calming shades of blue.

When I get home, Neil comes to the car to help me carry things into the house. He reaches, as always, for the baby bump first, pressing his palm to its crest as his fingers splay out over it. And then he kisses me softly.

He draws his hand away, and I bring it back, so he can feel the baby kicking. We found out at the beginning of the month that it was going to be a girl, and she’s been kicking a lot ever since. It started off as a little flutter in my stomach, like butterflies, but it’s slowly progressed to gentle tapping kind of feelings.

“Can you feel it?” I whisper. He nods, and we stand there until she’s stopped. He kisses me again. Neil’s already a dad, but it’s his first time going through the pregnancy itself, and he’s been more than excited for each and every moment. “Is Ari here yet?” I ask as he pulls away.

“No, but he texted that he’s on his way. I think he got a rental from the airport.”

“I forgot the whiskey,” I tell him. “I forgot and I was trying to call you to ask which one you said it was, and you weren’t picking up.”

“Nyla flung my phone across the room yesterday remember?” He says. “It’s still not working,”

I smack my forehead, and he laughs. “That pregnancy brain is really doing a number on you huh? What happened? I thought you wrote the whiskey down.”

“Don’t laugh but I can’t remember where I wrote it down,” I explain. He laughs anyway, and I do too.

“Your sister took her to the park so I could grade some papers,” He explains. We carry the groceries into the house, and he starts packing them away as I grab a bottle of juice from the fridge. “Anyway, I can grab a bottle of the whiskey when Ari gets here. He usually brings his own though,”

“No, I got it,” I say, after taking a long draught of juice. “I stood there for like, ten minutes trying to remember,”

“You could’ve just left it Lyss,” Neil assures me, fishing the two bottles out.

“No, I wanted to get it. I really want to make a good first impression.” 

“Ari’s going to love you,” Neil says. “You actually have a lot in common.”

“Are you saying you’re basically marrying the female version of your best friend?” I tease.

He laughs. “No, I didn’t say that. I just meant you guys will get along.”

“Mm-hmm,” I murmur, taking another sip of juice. “There was this guy there anyway, he saw me struggling and he’s the one who suggested those two,”

“Well, he was right, this one is Ari’s favorite, and he likes this one, I think.”

I sigh with relief. “Okay good.” I move over to the side of the island where’s he’s standing and kiss his cheek softly. He puts his arm in the small of my back, massaging it gently. “How long have I been pregnant?” I lament. “A thousand years?” Neil chuckles. “I’ll just go upstairs and put my feet up for a little bit before he gets here then,” I finish.  “I don’t want Ari thinking my feet are normally the size of boats.” 

“He knows you’re pregnant,” Neil says, kissing me again. He lets me go.

Although we’re in the guest room, it’s the second most spacious room in the house, and has its own bathroom too, with a tub that comfortably fits two – or one tired pregnant lady and her partner’s sympathetic arm as it massages her feet.

Nyla is in the room just opposite us, the smallest room of the house, but probably the most picturesque, with a nice wide window seat looking over the side yard.

The only thing I hate about lying down these days is that two minutes later, I have to start fighting off the sleep. But just when I’ve given in, I hear a car pull into the driveway.

I shuffle off into the bathroom to freshen up, and then downstairs through the kitchen staircase. I can hear Neil talking to Ari, asking him how the trip was and saying it’s been a long time since they saw each other. Ari starts to pinpoint exactly when the last time they were together was but stops short when I walk in.

I stop too, blinking in confusion. He’s the whiskey guy I met in the store.

“Well – hi,” He says.

“Hi,” bewildered, I tilt my head slightly to the left.

“It’s you,” he says, with a small laugh. “What’re you doing here?”

“I’m Alyssa,” I say.

“You’re supposed to be pregnant,” he protests.

“I am,” I insist, with a chuckle. I touch the baby bump, walking over to the island.

All he says is, “Oh,” with slightly raised eyebrows.

“He’s the guy from the store,” I tell Neil. “The one who helped me with the whiskey.”

I glance at Ari, and his cheeks seem to color as he recalls our encounter.

“Well,” He stars, rising from his seat to kiss my cheek. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“You too,” I say. “You don’t look a single thing like your picture,”

“Oh geez,” He says, looking at Neil. “He showed you the college one, didn’t he?”

Neil laughs, throwing his hands up. “It’s not my fault your social media pictures are all of the landscapes you shoot. It was the only one I could find.”

“You had frosted tips and baby fat, no beard,” I supply.

“Don’t remind me,” Ari says, with a laugh.

“Just be glad I didn’t show her the ones from when you went through the Justin Timberlake, *NSYNC look,” Neil tells him.

“Now that I have to see,” I laugh. 

The front door opens, and Nyla comes running into the room, stopping when she sees Ari.

“I have to take off your coat, Ny!” Anya calls after her.

Neil goes over to her and picks her up, angling her towards Ari, who she stares at, eyes wide. Ari smiles at her with kind encouragement. 

“Hey Bee,” Neil says. “Can you say hi to your uncle Ari?”

Nyla shakes and buries her face into Neil’s shoulder.

“She’s shy,” Neil explains.

“Just give her a few minutes,” I add. “She’ll warm up to you.”

Nyla reaches in the pocket of her little pink Disney-Princess festooned coat.

“She found a marble at the park,” Anya calls, from the hall. “She was really excited to show you guys,”

“A marble!” Neil coaxes. “Wow, that sounds really cool bee. Do you want to show me?”

Slowly, a pudgy fust emerges, and she opens her palm, revealing a round marble with a slice of the warmest honey brown in the center.

“Wow…” Neil exclaims. “You found that all by yourself?”

Nyla nods again.

“Can I see, please?” Ari asks, pleasantly. He’s lowered his voice a little, keeping it gentle.

“Can you show uncle Ari, Ny?” I say, caressing her hair away from her face gently. Nyla seems to consider, and I say “Please? He really wants to see.”

Nyla hesitantly holds out the marble, and Ari takes it from her carefully.

“Wowwww…” He breathes. “It’s beautiful! Look at that! It’s probably the best marble I’ve ever seen!”

Nyla gives him a small, shy smile, and buries her face back into Neil’s shoulder.

Anya walks in then, smoothing down her black turtleneck as she walks in. When Ari turns to her, she falters, meeting his eyes. Something seems to pass between them, and Anya’s lips slip into a nervous smile.

“Hi,” She says, seeming to remember herself.

“Hi.”

“You must be Ari,”

“Yeah,”

“It’s nice to meet you, I’m Anya.”

Over Nyla’s head, I catch Neil’s eye, which gleams knowingly. Trying to suppress our smiles, we turn back to Anya and Ari, who are exchanging a short, clumsy hug. Noticing Neil and my facial expressions and trying not to appear embarrassed, she clears her throat discreetly.

Ari lifts a bouquet of flowers that were resting on the bench beside him.

“These are for you,” He says.

“You brought flowers?” she wonders, accepting the tulips, nodding at me and Neil. “Unlike those two freeloaders over there?”

“Hey!” Neil protests. “We're family. We’re allowed to freeload!” 

“And we brought Nyla,” I supply. “Look at those huge eyes! That's present enough.”

Neil nods emphatically. “I couldn’t agree more. You couldn’t find bigger, more soulful eyes in the whole country-” he breaks off as Nyla whispers something in his ear, and he smiles at me. “Bathroom,” he mouths. “Come on bee, let’s go get your coat off,” he says.

Anya trails upstairs after them to find some shoes, leaving me with Ari. An awkward silence settles in the room when he realizes, and I can tell he’s thinking about our encounter at the store. 

“Listen,” he starts, breaking the silence. “I'm sorry about earlier…”

I wave him off with an understanding smile. “No, don't. You didn't know it was me.”

“Neil's always posting pictures of Nyla,” he tells me. “I’d know her anywhere… I mean, I can see the resemblance with you…” he trails off, and I’m not entirely sure what he was trying to say, so I just smile again. He rubs his hand over his face in bewilderment. “Shit man. I still can’t believe it sometimes. He's a dad... With like kids and everything.”

“Well, 'kid' – singular,” I say, placing a hand on my stomach. “This one's still cooking.”

He laughs. “It’s just – we used to think Neil didn’t want kids and marriage and all that, you know? We always used to joke he’d be a bachelor. I mean, I thought that too about myself. In college, we seemed like gods or something…” He lets his words trail off, and his eyes seem far away for a moment. “And then we graduated and he met Vanessa-” he stops abruptly, looking at me, as though he’s said something he shouldn’t have. My cheeks warm, but only in response to his apparent embarrassment to bringing up Vanessa. Neil's ex-fiance. Neil was still with Vanessa when he and I got together.

It was Ari that introduced Neil and Vanessa, at a charity event years ago. I didn’t know if he was really close friends with her, or if he had been then and was no longer, but it was one of the reasons I was so eager for him to like me. His allegiance, if he had any, would naturally fall with her. Neil was happy now, but his happiness – my happiness - had cost Vanessa something. She was blameless in all of this.

“It’s okay,” I murmur, finally. But my cheeks are warm. It was a long time ago, but there is still that little bit of shame that lingers. I never meant to hurt her... Neither of us did. A short silence elapses before Ari clears his throat and breaks it.

“I don’t usually put my foot in my mouth this many times in one day,” he chuckles. “I guess I’m just nervous.”

“Why?”

He holds my gaze for a moment, and shrugs. “I don’t know. I just a suppose I’m nervous.” His fingers toy with something, and looking down I realize its Nyla’s marble. “Seeing him like this, with you and Nyla is new for me.” Ari says, finally. “But he’s happy, you know?”

“Yeah.” 

Ari sighs. “I’m starting to think I want those things for myself too.”

I busy myself with putting Anya’s flowers in a vase of water, and I can feel him watching me out of the corner of my eyes. 

“You know something,” I say, looking up. “I didn’t hate Vanessa,” I tell him. This conversation was bound to come up eventually... I might as well get it out of the way now. But I don't want to appear defensive about it, so I keep my voice soft.

“I didn’t mean…” He starts. I wait, but he doesn’t finish what he was going to say.

“I actually really liked her,” I finish. “Neil and I didn’t mean for things to happen the way they did.” I hold his gaze. I know what happened wasn't right but I want him to see that I'm sorry for it. I'm not a bad person. Neil isn't either. We just... things just happened.

He nods once, his eyes lowering after a moment.

“I just wanted you to know that; going forward,” I say. “I know it's weird for me to say, because of the way things happened,” I continue. “But you just need to know that. I’m not a bad person.”

Ari is Neil’s best friend, and it’s important that he likes me, and that we get along. I haven’t said all this out loud, but I know he can see it in my eyes.

He doesn’t say anything for a long minute. Finally, he picks up the marble and rolls it over to me, smiling as I catch it. When I hold it up to the light, I notice that it’s the color of Ari’s eyes. I roll it back to him.

"You should keep it," I say.

"If Nyla lets me," he interjects. I smile.

"Yeah."