My heart was beating so fast. As I watched Maksimillian’s face while he was considering the agreement I presented to him, I was ready to hear his refusal.
What decent man had the right mind and heart to relinquish his parenthood? To think that he could very well support the baby and take it away from me, if worst come to that, it was already alarming on my part. As I could guess, he was someone who had lots of money. Not because I saw the thick wad of money in his wallet, but by the way he moved and spoke to me. He was a really decent man.
However, I had no one that I had set my eyes on to be the potential partner in making a baby but him. Even though he might be a threat. I hoped not, if he signed the agreement.
It may be early to say since I just got here since yesterday afternoon, but he was the first that caught my attention. Plus, he showed that he was a gentleman so far. He paid for our drinks, and he was someone who listened when I speak. It was rare for a man to stay quiet if he was egotistical and arrogant.
‘Add to the list that he’s a good kisser,’ my mind piped in.
I almost scoffed but was attentive enough to him. How could I even think he was a good kisser when I had no one to compare it with and it was my first time to be kissed? But his male taste mixed with the Fat Frog cocktail was too good.
The way he moved his soft lips against mine was stunning that my mind stopped to work at that moment. I could not think of anything else but him. I did not even consider where we were. And the way he thrust his tongue into my mouth to explore it and tease my own tongue, it made me feel breathless and had the resident butterflies flutter in chaos in my abdomen. It was the first time I felt something like that. It must be true from what I heard that a person would feel something like this with the right one.
So, the right person must be Maksimillian. I just hoped he would sign the agreement as I handed him the stylus now.
“Why do you want to have a baby ASAP?” he suddenly asked out of curiosity, obviously. His hands rested at his sides while he regarded me with those sexy sea green eyes that could chase away my logical mind.
I knew I had to be prepared with everything just in case, that’s why the documents were all ready. He must have thought I lost a screw or something. But then, his eyes did not seem to judge me as such. So to me, that was… I don’t know… a relief of some sort?
My eyes wavered as his gaze probed mine. His question caught me off guard. Should I be honest with him? Maybe I should, since he had the right to know and so that he would know why I’m doing this.
I swallowed hard and blinked a couple times. “I have a problem with my reproductive system. If I don’t do this as soon as possible and my condition worsens, there’s the possibility that I’d become infertile and cannot bear a child in the future.” I knew I shouldn’t feel so rushed or pressured but I had no choice. I did want to have a child of my own, a child that I’d raise with all the love I could give, teach her or him good things and show how beautiful the world is no matter how ugly the system is.
‘Oh, Doamne! Even just one child, that’s all I ask of you. Please, please. Let me have it with Maksimillian.’
I was startled when he gently touched my cheek. I wasn’t even aware that tears raced down my face. My vision became blurry but I could very well see the pity in his eyes. No, I didn’t want pity from him. I want his sperms! At least one of them, so that I could have the baby I so badly want.
When he finished drying my cheeks with his tapered fingers that gently followed the trails of my tears, he took the stylus and signed on my cell phone screen. It was not my plan to make him go along and sign this agreement through pity, with me crying in front of him, but it was for understanding and his will to create life with a stranger like me.
I knew it was a crazy idea that Antonia had when she suggested this thing, but I knew it was for my own interest if I didn’t want a steady man in my life. A man who could eventually hurt me like my father did to my mom. I needed to play it safe. I needed to guard my heart. I was already hurt when my dad left us for another woman and started a family with her. And I certainly didn’t want another man to walk away from my life, unless it was my choice. And here it was. This was my choice. I wouldn’t be hurt by this. It was only an affair with the main goal, which was already clear from the start. What could go wrong?
“So, are we going to have this notarized?” he asked while signing.
I nodded. From what I know, I had to make this legal, so that everything was set in stone per se. I studied his side view features as he signed. It was brief, but there was only one conclusion I gathered. He was such an attractive man. I must be so lucky I found him. I could almost picture out our baby.
“I’m wondering if I can visit your home when your vacation is over and you’re not pregnant yet by the time,” he slowly drawled as he gave back the stylus. His eyes caressed my now tear-free face.
I smiled at him, wondering at the same time if he was truly an honorable man. Surely he wasn’t a perfect man. He must have flaws like all the others on Earth. But then who cares at the moment? I know I don’t. The important thing was that he had signed and that he showed me his driver’s license and took a picture of it himself before he gave my phone back.
He looked at me with renewed interest. “Fuck it! You’re just so beautiful, and I can’t let this opportunity pass me by, Zenovia. I know you must think I’m crazy for agreeing with you on this matter but I can’t think of anything else on how I can have you.”
“W-what did you say?”
Instead of answering me, he held me by the nape and caressed it, sending tingles all over my body. My breath hitched, and my femininity throbbed without any warning. Or was it because of anticipation?
“You heard me, Zenovia. I want you ever since I saw you at the Black Church.”
My lips parted because of that revelation.
“Now, will you show me your hotel room?” he asked with a mesmerizing smile that melted my inhibitions and logical thoughts.
‘Are we really going to do it now?’ I suddenly panicked.
‘If not now, when would you want to start, Zenovia?’ the other part of my brain pointed out. ‘Remember that you still have a hymen to break.’
Ah, for God’s sakes! This thought didn’t help at all. I was already nervous, feeling my hand go cold and damp and my heart beating so wildly.