Ruqoyyah was rushed into the operating room (OR), to remove the bullet. She had stopped breathing.

Everyone was crying and parading; some were weeping while some were wailing. Zain and Mubarak were outside, they couldn't believe their eyes. None of them moved from the incident.

Muhammad had been shot mistakenly by his mother and was in the OR.

The cloud was gloomy, the rain was pouring all it might while the thunder was striking like there was no tomorrow.

Everywhere was silent.

The policemen came and arrested Mubarak and Aisha.

Everyone was happy that they were arrested but the two gems and lights of the family were on the bed - fighting for their lives.

Hajia came to his son and hugged him from behind, soothing and telling him everything would be alright.

"Mom" his voice quivered, "will she wake up?" He asked in a small voice, "and if yes, will she want to stay with me" his lips trembling while he continued to sniff.

"Yes, in shaa Allah" hajia said softly, trying to be strong for her son whereas she was crumbling inside. She lost the most important people in her life; her son, grandson and Ruqoyyah. She took Ruqoyyah like her daughter.

"But... Mom, the gun was aimed at me. She took the bullet for me" his voice cracked. "I was the one that was supposed to protect her, not another way round" he yelled.

"I'm going to kill him, I'm going to end him" he growled while hajia sobbed uncontrollably because she was losing this one too.

Everything was falling apart!

Alhaji watched both of them from afar and a lone tear fell from his eye. He missed the little lady.

"Zain, let's get inside before you catch a cold," Hajia said.

"No!" He shouted, shook his head frantically, "I can't go in there. How will I face her parents? The accusing looks and fails, `` he said.

"No, her parents won't think of that but will you not be there when she wakes up?" Hajia asked his son.

Hadiza ran out of the hospital, shouting Zain's name.

"Zain" he called out; he never answered her.

"He's here," Hajia replied.

"Brother, the doctor wants to see you about ruqoyyah" he whipped his head to her and shook her, bombarding her with a series of questions.

"Is she awake?".

"Is she alright?".

"What happened?".

When he heard nothing from her, he ran inside on his drenched cloth.

He met the doctor halfway to the OR, removing his mask and used gloves. The doctor looked at him with pity and concern while his heartbeat vigorously for the worst.

"Sir, you will have to take heart," the doctor said softly while patting his shoulder.

He smiled softly at him and sighed, "we are sorry, we tried all our efforts but we lost..." he didn't hear the remainder before he fell on his knees and released an agonizing scream.

~**~

I found myself at the usual playing ground, putting on a floral dress with a blue cape. I heard Muhammad's and Zain's voice, playing and running after each other with an unknown small boy.

I smiled and waved at Zain, shouting on top of my voice then walked towards them.

"Rukky" Zain waved back while Muhammad ran to me. I carried him up while whirling him around. Zain walked to me and hugged me, I sighed in relief and snuggled close to him, inhaling his manly scent.

"Mom, save me" I heard a little pained voice, I raised my head and noticed Zain and Muhammad were not beside me anymore. They were at a far distance, looking sad.

As I was walking towards the boy, I saw the boy was drenched in blood.

"Mom, save me" his voice sounded urgent, his body was fading away. I ran and ran but I never reached him till his body faded away while I screamed.

~**~

I jolted awake from the dream. I shivered in fear because it felt real. My hand went protectively to my bump but found nothing and I screamed.

Everyone rushed in, looking at me with concern.

"Where is my baby" my voice was hoarse but I didn't care. Zain looked away while he punched his nose and exhaled.

"Rukky..." He tried to touch me but I flinched away from him. He looked hurt but I didn't care.

I want my baby!

"Where is my baby," I asked again, my voice void of emotions.

"Due to stress and everything, the baby..." He trailed off while others turned away.

"You mean my baby?" I asked softly.

"Yes Ruyah", he nodded," I'm sorry" he whispered.

I removed the IV connected to my vein and blanket, I stood up wobbling. Zain tried to hold me but I pushed him away, "leave me alone" I yelled.

"Where are you going" he groaned, standing up from where he fell when I pushed me. My lips were trembling but not in fear but my brain shut down. I was hearing different cries in my head while I thrashed and screamed before I felt a sharp sting on my neck and I fell on the bed. My eyelids closing accordingly. I embraced the darkness, wishing that everything should be a nightmare.

~**~

"Yahyah, please take something" hajia was trying to persuade me to eat. Since I'd been discharged from the hospital, I'd not taken anything or talked to anyone.

I hate life!

What was the point of me living!

The purpose of coming to this state was because of school and that school I'd been kicked out.

What was my purpose in life!

My child, my baby, even though...

I couldn't protect my baby. It was my fault the baby died. My life had been ruined!

What was the essence of living without having a child?

~~~

Flashback

I was waking up from a nap when I heard some hushed voices. I couldn't distinguish the voiced but I could pinout; "Tell her".

I stood up wobbling on my legs and walked to the door, I opened it. Everyone looked shocked and surprised to see me.

"What are you hiding," I asked in a scratchy voice because I'd not use my voice for a week.

"Nothing," they said in unison, looking everywhere but not me. I walked to Zain and held him by his polo, "what are you not telling me?" I growled, getting annoyed while he gulped.

"Tell her," Aisha said sweetly while he glared at her.

"Well, if no one is talking, why won't I talk?" She laughed.

"Don't you dare say anything there?" He sneered at her.

"The last time I checked, you aren't my husband and remember, you left me at the jail too rotten. If not because of my family that bailed me out" she snarled. "So, don't command me" she flipped her hair.

"Please tell me," I pleaded.

"Okay, the doctor said; he was sorry to say that he doesn't think you can have a baby because of your womb" she pointed to my stomach," has been damaged or weak" she laughed widely while her eyes twinkled with mockery.

I took a step back until I slumped down and choked on tears. I touched my stomach protectively -wailing and thrashing.

"What is my purpose?" I yelled at no one in particular.

"Papa disowned me, my baby died, my education has finished. Now my future has ruined." I cried.

"I want to die, I want the pain to go away. They are too much" I said looking around for any kind of sharp object but when I couldn't find it, I started to scratch myself angrily. I needed to make it stop.

"Rukky" Zain tried to touch me but I clawed him before he could.

"Make it stop" I sobbed heretically.

"It's too much!" I screamed.

"Make it..." I felt a wave of dizziness watching over me. My sobbed turned to whimpering. I felt tired and drained, I yawned and everything was black.

🌸🌸🌸🌸

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