"Lexin..." I called hoarsely.

Just one step closer and my legs would give up on me. I tried my best not to fall on the sofa as I thought it would give her an idea. Her deep eyes were just staring at me, sometimes she would lean on, teasing me. Then lean back slowly, wetting her lips. 

I could smell her sweet breath fanning my face and god knows how I wanted to close my eyes and cherish this moment. But again, I stayed strong. I will not let this walking temptation take over me. 

Her eyes drop to my lips. "You smell so good..." she mumbled. "I wanna ravish those pink lips of yours if you'd let me." 

"Are you gay?" I felt nervous! My heart is pounding faster as time passes. I felt anxious, too! 

She's so close... I haven't brushed my teeth! I probably smell like a pepperoni pizza and she's telling me that I smell so good?! Damn it, Lexin. 

"Hmm... Are you not?" Her hands went to my chin, caressing it with her thumb. I totally lose my balance when she quickly runs her fingers down to my throat, choking me! My eyes rolled back when my back hit the soft surface. 

Good thing she was fast enough not to fall with me. She managed to rest her hands on the armrest then, she tilted her head, showing me the side of her neck, and completely not giving me a way out.

From my position, I could see her cleavage peeping through her loose neckline. 

"I can't breathe..." I was exaggerating! My eyes closed at their own, but Lexin...

"Open your eyes, Aya. I want you to remember this tonight and I assure you, you'll have a good night's sleep." 

My hand clenched. "You mean, nightmare?"

I gasped when I felt her hand sneak inside my sweater, touching my waist. She was caressing me sensually, squeezing me tightly, then back to caress my skin. I bit my lower lip, still keeping my eyes close. I clutched my legs together trying to stop myself from letting out a small moan which I think was a wrong move. 

"How does that feel, hmm?" 

"Stop flirting with me, please... We just met and here you are, harassing me." I opened my eyes. 

She paused. Lexin gazed at me for a second before standing straight. I let out a sigh of relief. My body felt numb, even my heart was still beating heavily. I couldn't even look at her.  

"I should go," I told her straight. I fixed myself as I stood up behind her, getting ready to leave.

"Yeah, uh... Just leave, let me take care of the trash." She turned her back on me. 

Although it would be a shame to leave just like that, still, I did anyway. I didn't bother to clean, or even glance at Alex who called me when I walked past her. I just made my way out, quickly as if my life depends on it. 

I don't understand her. Is she gay? I have this idea that she knew that I've been eyeing her since earlier and that she was just playing with me, giving me false hope. Either way, I shouldn't let my guard down. Straight or not, involving myself with her is out of my list. I must save myself this time. 

"Where have you been?" My hand flew to my chest in shock when I heard a deep voice the moment I entered my house.

"Sid!" I hissed. "You startled me!" I walked in his direction and lazily sat on the sofa. "Let's go out tonight? I'm feeling the need to party and get wasted! Call them," I retorted, referring to our other friends. 

He towered over me with eyes wide open as if I've grown two heads. "I thought you'll stay clean for a month? It has been a week since you told me that you wanted to lie low."

"Can I take it back?" I asked innocently. "And you sounded like I'm taking drugs."

"Are you not?" 

Silence... I suddenly heard her voice.

"I'm not?" I slapped his forehead which earned me a groan. He's back with his high pitch voice.

"Well, I actually plan to go out tonight that was why I came back here, to bid goodbye," he dramatically sniffed. "It would be our last day together. Tomorrow, I'll fly back to the city. My work misses me already." 

Sid laid beside me. Then he opens his arms, hugging me sideways. I rolled my eyes and just rode with him, consoling as I rub his arms. His head was in between my neck, sniffing like a baby. 

I sighed. He never changed. "You deserved an Oscar award."

"Really? I must be an actor in my past life, then."

I breathed deeply. "I'm in big trouble, Sid.." I said wearily. Thinking about it made my stomach grunts in dismay. 

How could I let this happen? Everything was under my control but at just one glance, my walls started to break apart, letting her in. It's not that I wouldn't try to slip away from her charm, it's just that, I don't trust myself in that aspect. 

Everything feels familiar... The familiarity leads me on and I just love it. Knowing myself, I literally just go with the flow. I'd do anything to keep myself excited, to have something to look forward to in order to satisfy myself. 

I always feel the need to feed myself with emotions. Like how I need shelter, clothes, and foods to keep me alive. 

"Was it your neighbor?" 

"How'd you know?" 

"I saw you getting out of her house," he answered casually, then sat straight. "It's too early to say this but if you really don't want to indulge yourself with women again, or fall into their trap like what happened before, stay away from her or better yet, start dating a guy! You're not a lesbian, Aya. Stop treating yourself like you are."

I pursed my lips tightly. "I'm more comfortable with women..." I mumbled.

There's something in women that I can't pinpoint. It's like having another comfort zone which I really desired. And simply because we're both women. We knew how our mind works which leads to more and deep understanding unlike being with a man. I don't know, I can't explain. All I knew was I like girls more than any species that exist in this world. 

"Come out of your comfort zone. It's not like you haven't fucked a guy yet." 

"Sid!" I hysterically shouted. 

"What?! I'm just stating the obvious. We fucked even before I discovered my true sexuality." 

"You're crazy..." I facepalmed.

"Seriously speaking, give yourself a chance. It has been years, Aya." 

"We just met though, this too shall pass soon. I'm maybe... just horny?" Even I was unsure of my own statement. 

"You need to get laid," he suggested. I spanked his arm and stood up. 

"Text me the details. I'll just take a nap as later would be a long night!" 

"I hope the cold weather will have you sleep overnight," he smirked. 

"Mean..."

That afternoon, I slept like a baby. If it wasn't because of the alarm, I would have missed the fun tonight! I just wore a black leather skirt and a thin spaghetti strap shiny top. A typical outfit of a party girl. I have to cover it with a long coat because of the freaking cold weather.

Meanwhile, Sid came over to pick me up. 

"Hey, hottie! Shake that booty!" he shouted as I closed the door of my house, my back facing him. 

"Shut up, ugly!" I laughed. 

"The others are waiting, said we're the only one who hasn't arrived yet." 

I walked near his car. "We make the best entrance."

"Yeah! But not this time! The latecomer would pay for the drinks tonight."

"You should shoulder the expenses for this night, then." I went inside his car. "You'll be gone by tomorrow. Tonight's your despedida!" 

"It's not like I'm going abroad," I could almost hear the bitterness in his voice. 

"Still... The city is hours away from here." 

He started driving. I'm feeling more excited as time passes by. I spent most of my days before partying, involving myself in illegal activities, it wasn't that severe, and spending my Friday night in a cell! 

It's a natural thing for me. No one would actually suspect that I've been going in and out in prison. 

I looked into the rearview and my eyes caught something. For the nth time, my heart raced faster than its usual rate. 

"Damn... Stop the car, Sid!" 

"What?! Why?!" 

"Just stop! I think my neighbor's in a big problem!" 

I just saw her carrying Alex in her arms and I could tell that she was in a difficult situation. We have not gone far yet, so I could clearly see the situation outside her house. She can hardly open her car door!

"I can't make it tonight," I quickly opened the door beside me and ran as fast as I could in her direction. 

When I got near her, that was when I heard her small sobs. 

"Alex, baby..." she cried.