illfated relationship

'Lin Lan' once asked me, "Why do you write her as if she's great, when in fact she's just a small woman who almost lost herself because she loves someone?"
I looked at her, shook my head, and said, "You gave a man a new lease of life, made a love complete, and brought two families back to happiness; isn't that the best thing in the world? In my heart, you are far greater than the stories."
'Lin Lan' looked at me and said with a cheeky smile, "Such a great woman, married to a perverted man; isn't that too much of a contrast in your story?"
I pinched her nose and said, "Feeling the same way! But if what I write is not a real experience but a brainchild saga or describes less than half of real life, won't you have a problem with it? Won't those sisters of yours spray me?"
'Lin Lan' laughed out loud, then opened her arms and hooked me. Ying Ying said to me, "That's right, if it's not life that touched you and me, how can we cherish each other? Well, perverted is perverted; I like it then."
I said with a puzzled face, "You love me because I'm perverted?"
'Lin Lan' giggled. "I don't know why I need you so much. Anyway, there are still decades to go, so don't get tired of it!"
I hemmed and hawed and leaned down, saying, "You stupid woman, I won't get tired of it, so don't regret it."
'Lin Lan' said with a happy face, "Anyway, I'm your woman; everything is yours for the rest of my life."
'Old He' finally agreed to my request to follow him to Guangzhou to open a branch. Our company is huge, so big that I can recognize less than one-tenth of the people in it, and that's just the branch.
'Old He' was my old leader and my top boss. After many years of working together as colleagues, coupled with family connections, Lao He and I gradually built up a deep friendship and became close friends.
In fact, I was not much interested in going to Guangzhou, and I was not familiar with the place. At that time, the only thing on my mind was to escape as soon as possible from this dreamy metropolis, 'Pujiang', which had both given me happiness and broken me physically and mentally.
I was born in a small mountain town by the Xiangjiang River in China. My father was a veteran who experienced the counter-attack war, and the militarized discipline I grew up with caused me to rebel. So I simply hid at my grandmother's house, enjoying the coddling of my grandchildren by my grandfather and grandmother. 
'Xiaoya' is the daughter of my mom's cousin and should be considered my 'aunt's cousin'. When 'Xiaoya' was a child, her father and mother were working in a distant mine, and her grandfather and grandmother passed away at an early age, so she was also temporarily fostered in my grandmother's house.
When I was little, 'Xiaoya' was my only friend. We went up the mountain to dig out birds, went down to the river to fish, and played house together. I even stood up for her when she was bullied, and it was not uncommon for me to get into fights with others. In 'Xiaoya's' heart, I am her protector; as long as I am there, she is not afraid of anything.
In addition to being able to take her to play, I can also help that poor little head of hers because I grew up with good grades in reading. During the summer vacation, I often tutored her in her studies and helped her with her homework under the tree in the yard. According to her, I was simply the person she admired the most.
My mom would often come to visit me on weekends, and by the way, she would also come to see my grandpa and grandma. Every time, she would bring some candy and treats. My mom was always biased; except for the small amount she gave to 'Xiaoya', she gave the rest to me. However, I was never stingy. Every time my mom left, I would take out the candies and snacks and share them with 'Xiaoya'.
When 'Xiaoya' was in junior high school, she had already developed into a dignified young girl with big, beautiful eyes, transparent and clear, sweet dimples, a small nose, and a mixed-race temperament. Walking on the street, many people see you and cannot help but sneak a glance.
When I was in high school, I liked to play basketball but was also obsessed with playing the guitar. I and a few other music-loving students spontaneously formed a student band with a loud name called "chasing the wind teenager.". At that time, our dream was to be the best band in Hong Kong, but until we graduated from high school, the biggest stage we were on was the class gala.
At that time, 'Xiaoya', is my little tail; I played basketball; she went to cheer; I went to the band; she was a listener. We were almost inseparable. Every day we stick together, inevitably falling in love over time, adolescent flirtation, so that we often have some unintentional ambiguous behavior. Grandma found a little bit wrong and hastily shouted to the 'Xiaoya' mother, 'Xiaoya' to bring home. On the night of our farewell, we were both very sad. We both sat on the sofa in the living room, watched TV in silence, and stared at each other in silence for a long, long time.
In a sense, 'Xiaoya' should be my most innocent first love; we were childhood sweethearts, and our feelings accumulated over time have long been deeply rooted in each other's hearts.
Although I and 'Xiaoya' cannot be counted as blood relatives, they do not exist because of legal obstacles. However, there is a traditional custom in our local area that, between relatives, one cannot get married; otherwise, it would be treasonous, and the whole clan would be spurned by the world. Therefore, 'Xiaoya' and I were thus rigidly isolated by my family.
From the day I came to understand, I wanted to love and care for someone for the rest of my life, but the heavens were not in my favor. If it weren't for the obstacles of the world, I'm afraid that 'Xiaoya' and I would have already made a private commitment and happily entered the marriage hall.
When I went to college, I tried to contact 'Xiaoya', but it didn't work out as I had hoped. At that time, cell phones were still far from being popular, and communications were not well developed.
Although I knew that it was impossible for me and 'Xiaoya' to be together, I was a little scared in my heart. However, I could not let go of my thoughts about 'Xiaoya'. It's like a thorn deeply rooted in my heart; I can't pull it out. The memories related to 'Xiaoya' can only be buried deeply in the heart, slowly precipitating.
When I was in my third year of college, I met 'Xinya', who was also my first love in the true sense of the word. 'Xinya' and I have the same school in the same grade, just different majors, not in a class. She looks very beautiful—model figure, melon face, charming big eyes—let me be obsessed and intoxicated. Xinya is a very conservative traditional girl; our crazy period of love never let me cross the minefield, limited to hot tears, embraces, and ambiguous kisses, longing for a better future.
'Xinya' is an insecure woman. Before the family was very good, her parents divorced early, her mother painstakingly pulled her, and her brother grew up. Her biggest goal is to give her family a happy and stable life. Children from poor families are always self-reliant, but the heart hides a trace of an undetectable inferiority complex. The year I graduated from college, 'Xinya' and I met both parents and officially established a romantic relationship.
On the night of our graduation, 'Xinya' gave herself to me. When she removed all her clothes, her slender, snow-white body, beautiful curves, and proud peaks were presented in front of me. I was stunned. I caressed it with extreme tenderness, like I was getting the most precious treasure. It was the first time for both 'Xinya' and me, with no experience to speak of. I was always worried about 'Xinya', fearing that I might hurt her, and several times we were unsuccessful, shyness mixed with fumbling.
When our bodies were closely intertwined, 'Xinya' shuddered and screamed, spasming in pain, both hands gripping my arm, nails sinking deep into my flesh. Thus, my first night and 'Xinya's' first virginity were perfectly combined.
After it was over, 'Xin Ya' looked at the crimson blood on the tissue and said, "I now finally know why God wants to put such a painful thing on a woman, because God wants me to remember the man I love in my bones and to willingly, for him, endure that kind of tearing pain."