Chandler's POV
"You know when Clay was little he used to thinking kissing was the way you mark someone." Karen has been telling me a lot about Clay. A lot of embarrasing and cute stories.
"Oh really."
"Yep he came home crying from school one day."
"Why?"
"He said that a girl kissed him and marked him. And he won't be able to explain it to his real mate." We both started laughing.
"That is so cute." I finished cutting the fruit for the fruit salad and started to put it into a bowl. "I used to think you would be married if you kissed someone. My mom let me think I was married to our next door neighbor for a week, before she told me."
"Only because I thought it was cute." My mom walked in to the kitchen with a Dr. Pepper in her hand.
"That boy mom was one of the nerdiest kids on the block. My friends wouldn't talk to me that whole week." We all laughed.
"I brought this for you to say we're sorry."
"Mom it's fine I'm over."
"Ok, Anyways your friends came around after you told them I lied to you about you being married."
"When were you married?" Clay walked in staring at all of us.
"Oh Chandler thought when you kissed someone you would be married when she was little." He started laughing.
"That's really funny." He came behind me and wrapped his arms funny.
"Well, you have some explaining to do." He gave me a confused look.
"About what?"
"That girl that marked you when you were little." He looked like I didn't know what I was talking about. Then as a switch turned on his eyes widened.
"Mom! You told her that." We all started to laugh. "I'm definately not leaving you two alone anymore to talk about me."
"It wasn't anything to bad. Why don't you kids go and have some fun, dinner won't be done for a bit." We nodded washed my hands quickly and Clay pulled me out of the kitchen onto the deck.
"Where are we going?"
"Just around the corner." He pulled me along the deck and around the corner of the house. Where a big porch swing was set. He sat down and I sat next to him and he lifted my legs onto his lap.
"So is everything ok." He just nodded. We sat in silence for a moment. I watched him as he looked out into the darkened forest. His face looked sad. "Clay tell me what's wrong. I know something is so don't try to hide it from me." He turned to me with tears is his eyes.
"I should have been there for him. I just never thought he wasn't ok. I let him down. It's all my fault." I can not believe he is blaming himself. "I should have just made sure he was ok." He leaned forward and put his head in his hands. I scooted closer to him and wrapped my arm around his back and took my other hand and lifted his head.
"Clay, I know your taking all the blame for this. But you need to stop. It's not your fault." He shook his in my hand.
"Yes it is. I was his older brother. I should have been there." I moved my hand to his chest and pushed him to lean back. He leaned back and I brought both of my hands to his face.
"Clay I know you feel like you should have been there. But, remember one thing. You were alone to. You can't take on everyone's burdens all the time. It's going to tear you down. No one was there for you either Clay. I can see you wish you had someone there. But you will never admit it." He had slow tears roll down his cheeks and onto my hands.
"I do wish it but,-" I cut him off.
"But, nothing Clay. If we're going to be together your gonna have to let me in. I want to be there for you. I don't want you to go through things like this alone. I'm not going to let you either." He hung his head down and started to cry harder. I pulled him by his shoulders and wrapped my arms around his neck. He put his face in the crook of my neck and I could feel the tears running down it. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me there. After a while the he grew quieter and pulled back. He lifted his and looked at me. His eyes were read and his face was wet still. I brought my hands to his face and whipped the tears from his cheeks.
"Thank you." he whispered. He brought his hand to my cheek. "I haven't cried like that since I was little. I probably look like a big baby."
"No you don't. A real man cries. Even if it's to one person that they cry to. I would never think any different." I smiled at him and smiled back.
"I've never talked to anyone about that. Please don't tell anyone."
"It's only between you and me. No one will know I promise." He pulled me closer to him and kissed me. He held me tight and kissed me with all the strength he had. Our lips moved with eachother with out breaking the rythm. We pulled away and stared at eachother. "Do you feel better." He nodded.
"You look tired."
"You never tell a woman they look tired. It's bad manners." He chuckled.
"Well, Why don't we lay back and shut our eyes then."
"Only if you stop worrying about me. Remember what I told you a minute ago."
"Yes, But I will never stop worrying if your ok. So your just gonna have to live with it." He smiled and I rolled my eyes.
"Well, I'm not very tired. I'll just sit here and relax."
"That's fine. I'll do the same." We sat there in silence. As I looked over the woods I could hear his steady breathing. Good grief he fell asleep fast. I looked over at him and remembered him sleeping this morning. He's had one heck of a long day. I started to look around the deck and noticed a guitar case. Well, that sparks my interest. I carefully lifted my legs off Clay and turned my body. I got up and went over to the case. I know I probably shouldn't mess around with this cause it's not mine. But, my hands couldn't stop themselves. I opened the case and saw an older looking Gibson. It looked amazing. I took it out and put it on my leg and started to quietly tune it. I started to pick the chords of 'Arms' By Christna Perri and sang lightly.
'I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart
But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start
You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go
You put your arms around me and I'm home
How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around
I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown
I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home
The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved
I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone
You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go
I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home
I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth
And I've never opened up
I've never truly loved 'Till you put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go
I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home
You put your arms around me and I'm home'
"Wow." I looked up and saw Clay's dad. "You are very good."
"I'm sorry I couldn't resist." I started to put it back.
"Oh don't put it back on my account. Please continue." He came and sat in the chair next to mine.
"Umm ok so where did you get this?" I lifted the guitar back to my leg.
"My father gave it to me when I was about your age. I played his when ever he would let me or when I'd sneek into his room and pluck a few chords. I love the feel of a quitar in my hands. So how did you learn to play so good."
"I taught myself. I started when I was eight."
"You taught yourself. My father taught me and I feel like an amateur compared to you."
"I'm gonna have to agree with you dad." We both looked over at Clay who was watching us with his arms crossed.
"Thanks son."
"You were the one who said it out loud. I just agreed."
"How long have you been listening?" I raised my eyebrow.
"Since you started tuning it. When you started playing you zoned out. Didn't even notice I sat up."
"Why don't you play us another one." Robert gave me a pat on the back.
"Ok, do you have any suggestions?"
"Just play whatever you know." I shook my head and thought. I'll play one of my favorites. 'If I Die Young.' By the Band Perry.
'If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Uh oh, uh oh
Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time
And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger,
I've never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand,
There's a boy here in town who says he'll love me forever,
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life, well,
I've had just enough time
So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done
A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Uh oh (uh, oh)
The ballad of a dove (uh, oh)
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time
So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls'
"You've got to help me out with my playing. You do it so effortlessly."
"I guess I could help you.  Why don't you play something." I handed him the guitar.
"I send you out here to get them for dinner and you come out here to play guitar. Good grief man I can't give a simple task that you don't detour from." Both me and Clay laughed at his mom.
"Sorry dear. You know I can't pass up a good guitarist when I see one."
"Oh Chandler you play." I nodded. "That's great. Now Robert will have someone to play with. He hasn't been able to play with anyone since his father passed. And our sons and Suzie are hopeless on the guitar."
"Well, I'd love to have a playing partner. I can never find someone who wants to play it with me."
"Well you have now. But, no more until dinner is done. Come on you three." We all nodded and followed her back to the kitchen.