You know when something really heartbreaking happens to your friends and it's all your fault. you think, they are probably in a bad state at the moment and you want to do anything you can to help, but then you find them with the biggest smile on their face. That's what I'm experiencing now.

Alice had the biggest grin on her face when i ask her how she's doing, she wouldn't stop smiling wide at me as she romages her closet. Flinging out different dresses.

"for the hundredth time lexa, I'm perfectly fine! You were right, he was never good for me. Now what should i wear? "she changes the topic and holds up two mini pastel dresses, one a dark shade of red and the other sharp white.

"Um... "i squint my eyes "the white one? It would bring out your eyes "she smiles widely satisfied with my answer, her green orbs twinkle under her full mascara quoted lashes.

"great choice! "she claps flinging the red dress over the sofa and disappears into her shoe closet only to come back with four different pairs of heals.

Oh boy! I wasn't prepared for this.

"so, i couldn't pick, i think this four would look really amazing with that dress so now i need your insights. Even though you lack fashion sense "

I roll my eyes, "Gee thanks "

"you're welcome. Now where were we? "she shoves her shoe's in my face and I'm starting to second guess why i had to come over to her home to begin with. I should have just had the conversation over the phone. But then it wouldn't be as effective. "i picked all the Prada products so they would match with my hand bags and sunglasses."

Okay, I'm just going to pretend i know what that is. But seriously, who pairs shoe's with sunglasses ?

"Um... "i access each shoe equally until i stop at the pair of nude strap heals with a glass heel. I think it would look beautiful so i tell her just that and she's beaming at me like i just bought her the latest version of that handbag she keeps gushing about... What was the name again?

"perfect! I see your Sence of fashion is improving every day. Looks like I'm doing a great job!" i glare at her but she just ignores and turns over getting naked right in front of me and wears a matching pair of white lace bra and panties and then her dress. Just like she said earlier, she pairs her shoes with a matching nude purse with the same logo as her sunglasses.

When she's done she does a twirl "how do i look? "

"gorgeous, as always" i say truthfully and it brings a satisfied smile to her lips.

"good "

"where exactly are you going? "

"shopping, and you're coming with me "

"what! No "

"um... Yes "she says in a duh tone rolling her eyes and eyes me up from head to toe "and you look... "she cringes not completing her statement.

I want to argue with her that I'm not going anywhere because honestly, shopping is not my thing, and i don't think i have cash that i want to waste on a bunch of expensive clothes, if it's with Alice then we're definitely going somewhere expensive. But i know why she's doing this. Even though she says she's fine, the whole thing with Finn is really taking a toll on her and she wants to drown that pain with a bunch of shopping bags, and probably vanilla.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing? "I look at myself again for precaution. I'm wearing my usual denim jeans, one of Kyle's green sweater i might have stolen and a white vans. Honestly i don't see what's wrong with it.

"you need a change of wardrobe " she disappears into her massive closset again and appears with three pairs of dresses. Oh... No way! "try these on. They'll fit we're practically the same size except you have bigger boob's and hips, so they might be a little tight. "

"nope, no, never, nada, I'm not wearing that. "

"don't be a wis. There is no way you're following me out wearing that ".

"I'm perfectly comfortable with what I'm wearing. "

She groans "come on lex" she sends me a glare and stumps her feet on the ground.

"okay, but at least not the dresses. They give me migraines."

She frowns but doesn't say anything and just disappears into her closet and, this time coming out with two different pairs of rip jeans and white crop tops.

I sigh not bothering to argue because i know this is the lowest she would give. I try them both on and go for the first one. She hands me a dark blue denim jacket and a pair of pink and white sneakers. I lift a brow.

"go on "she brushes her hand at me like whatever I'm thinking is unimportant.

After I'm done dressing, she grins and nods he head in satisfaction. "you look hot "

I feel thight. Her jeans are hugging too tightly on my hips and the top that's ment to be free is dragging my oxygen with me. I don't feel hot at all, i feel abused! But lucky for me i can still move perfectly fine with all the inconvenience on.

By the time we're done... No, scratch that, Ali's done shopping, there are more than three, very heavy mind you, shopping bags on my arms that I'm struggling to keep hold of. Ali has just two and a security guard behind us is holding about six.

She got me about two clothing items that i kept rejecting and pleading for her not to, but she won't have it and after some minutes of arguing, we start to attract unwanted attention so i give up and let her have her way. But then two clothes turn into four and then into six, then into twelve and now a whole shopping bag.

I keep telling her i don't need these things but she simply brushes me off so i stop whining.

We dump them off in her car and go back in to a small corner at the pastry where just like i thought, Alice orders a lot of vanillas. Vanilla and cherry sponge cake, vanilla yogurt, vanilla cookies with chocolate topping, vanilla and chocolate chip cookies.

We all have our ideal flavours. While I'm a freak with lust for strawberries, banana and coconut, Kyle is chocolate obsessed and Ali has a vanilla pact.

She's consuming so many vanillas in a short time but with the most elegant pace I've ever seen a person eat.

Suddenly she stops and starts coughing. I begin to panic but she lifts her hand up at me in signal to stop as she downs a glass of water. I finally relax knowing she's fine, at least physically.

"Alice? "

"huh? "

A deep creez forms between my brows, i know i should probably drop it, but I'm not Kyle and i won't. Maybe it's the slight guilt that Ali's hurting because of me, i don't know. "don't bullshit me Alice you're clearly not okay! "my voice wasn't meant to come out harsh.

"why can't you just drop it! "she yells.

"because i care about you Ali and in my entire life i haven't seen you like this before, it's freaking me out! "

"well good for you then, i bet you'll be happy now "

"what? "

"i mean, you've got him all to yourself now. The guy won't even stop talking about how much he loves you "

I freeze. Is that what she thinks? That I'm simply keeping my distance because of her? Finn doesn't love me, he can't, he doesn't love anyone.

At first i feel angry that she would think such a thing but then i know that even though it was never my intention i have a part to play in this and the anger I'm feeling slowly subsides into guilt.

"that's not true and you know it "i say.

"is it? " she doesn't wait for my response, but drops her glass and stands.

Now she'll walk away and not talk to me for a good two or three days again. Possibly even a week if you really know Alice. But she doesn't do that. Instead she walks over to the opposite side of the table where I'm sitting and pulls me up, embracing me into a tight hug.

I stay frozen for a moment. I wasn't expecting this. The Alice i know doesn't do hugs. She's just this sass queen that thinks she can take on the world, but with her arms around me right now, i know otherwise.

So i hug her back equally as tight, but it doesn't last long till she pulls away and blinks off the tears threatening to fall from her eyes. She scoffs.

"i can't believe i just did that "

"me neither " i smile genuinely.

"it's not your fault "she doesn't look at me when she speaks. "don't think any of this is your fault. He's just the biggest definition of an asshole. "

That's all she says but it's okay for me. I'm just happy that she's the strong person she is because honestly, if i hadn't known her, i won't have known she's actually affected by this. She puts up a very believable front, just not for me.