At first I have no idea where I'm driving to, but when I remember the advance birthday gift I got about two months back, I backtrack.

The roar of the engine comes to a stop and I'm greeted with the evening tempo of the chirping birds followed by the hurdles of passing vehicles behind me. With a deep sigh, I climb out of Alice's car and look up the hill ahead of me. The scenery is beautiful, quite tiresome climbing all the way but by the time I've reached the very edge, breathing a little rougher than normal and letting the heavy but yet relaxing sound of the waterfall drown my thoughts, I sit on the ground and let the imagery captivate all of me.

The night natural light illuminating from the sky is already creating a vintage of mass beauty but as a human with a regular functioning mind, my conscious inner security still pushes me to pull out my cellphone and use the flash as a better source of lighting.

The place looks more beautiful at night and that's a fact I'm willing to accept.

I breath in the fresh aroma of nature and let my feet lead me around the other side of the cliff to where our little tree house sits still like a lone wolf, born of an ancient realm but beautiful and sexy as a modern teenage imaginary Greek god.

I smirk at that thought. My memory taking me back to about four years back as I let my palm slide down the newly painted cabin walls. Kyle is standing beside me at the entrance of 'fudging Greyson's academy' as I'd put it back then as newly bred high school freshers. I think I'd secretly already had this hot head in me even all that while back, she just never showed up until life kicked her hard in the heart.

Kyle had smacked his pepper mint bubblegum in my face and pulled his backpack a little higher, putting all his weight on my delicate shoulders by wrapping his small yet muscled arms around them, then he yelled, loud enough for the entire student body in the parking lot of the school to hear, "lets go get those sexy ass bitches!"

I step into the little space of the small house we'd built for ourselves and look up the walls, studying the astrology wall papers pasted around the walls, I remember the cute little smile that sat on his face when he'd first taken me here two months ago after the reno.

'Do you like it?' those were his words in correspondence to my reaction back then. Those simple words that now pull my memory back into a recap of myself in sophomore year sitting alone by a classroom corner when Kyle barged in, running to me like he was being chased by a bull. His eyes were wide as suckers and his breathing ragged, "I need help!" He'd yelled making me panic a little but then he spilled out another jumble of crap from his mouth, "I didn't think being a virgin was this fucking hard! I need to fuck someone like right now!"

That brought a laugh out of me.

He'd pulled out a few notes from his pocket and smacked them on my hands. "Here's a little gift, do you like it?" I didn't get a chance to answer that because quite precisely he already knew the answer "Good, now that's bribe" He smirked "So you don't go running your snitching ass to mum and tell her I banged your arch nemesis." He turned to walk away with mischief swimming in his eyes then turned back for a last word... or words, "Oh and also as a future apology... for banging your arch nemesis."

I shake my head at the reality, my hands slowly moving on their own accord and reaching out for my phone which now feels heavy in my hands. I walk into the bedroom and stare at the photo of a little me and my braces wearing best friend hanging on the wall. And yet again, my mind takes me on a little journey to Kyle's first soccer game in elementary school. He had a wicked smirk on, a smirk that has somehow stuck with him even till this day, he'd been so determined to teach big Kerry a lesson for bullying me the previous day that he forgot all about his determination to join the big team and concentrated more on shooting the ball right to the bully's face when he was giving a pass instead of scoring for his team.

Even after he got kicked out and the other kids laughed at his teeth fix, he didn't mind but rather had a satisfied grin on his lips at his achievements, because he could aim, and he aimed perfectly well.

That's how far back his protectiveness of me went. That's how far back he'd made sure to go at any lengths to make me happy because call me crazy, but even ten year old shy me was insanely happy when I saw the big bully cry for the first time.

A rational part of me warns me not to, but I don't stop myself from sending the short text I've just typed in to Kyle.

'Hey, let's talk.'

I move around the little house and then back outside where the wind is cheerful and inviting. Being here makes me think about him. It might not be it but maybe that's why hearing the faint rattle of leaves being shook by a moving foot in the distance made my brain conjure up scenarios that he'd come to find me, that he'd come for me.

But I'd ignored him.

Intentionally.

And now my memory goes back to the same words that have clouded my thoughts the entire time they'd left his lips, the words that have had me thinking about him in ways I never did all my life.

' I'm fucking in love with you.'

So I think deeply, I search the depths of my mind for how I could have possibly missed it, how i could have possibly not realized my bestfriend had feelings for me all that while. But now that I really 'do', I see it.

The way he'd always held me, especially when I was week emotionally, mentally or physically, the way he'd looked at me sometimes, a look I found weird at a point if only I knew the true meaning. The words he'd said to me that day on this same fall, right here exactly where I stand.

'I love you, in more ways than you know.'

And I realize now, just what he truly meant by that.

Shutting my eyes tightly, I decide to let loose but I'm distracted with a rattling sound of grasses by the other end which immediately grabs my attention. This time when I see a masculine silhouette of a persons shadow pass by the other end of the cliff I let my brain convince me that it is Kyle, and just as I'm about to make a call at his name, I freeze on the spot feeling the hard and cold surface of a metallic weapon resting with it's tip behind my head, followed by the chilling sound of a man's voice from behind me.

"Not a word."